setmyhaironfire

march update!

2010-03-23T23:00:00.001+08:00

since a daily update would be willing but unable, here comes the monthly one! not that many many people read my blog nowadays too. x=

shall start with march first.

i remembered telling myself that i will start march with a nonchalant attitude towards people and things. now that 23 days have past, hmm, i have not done a very good job. or rather, what have i done well in my life?

sick from the first day of march till the march BREAK.

spent my SHORT ten days studying!
day 1 (fri): IT fair with bibiana and brought a gorgeous babe home!

day 2: first day of serious work! =D
day 3: mahjong at grandparents' place. round winner! =D
day 4: mass chem tutorial at audi and dental.
day 5: study in college.
day 6: airport visit.
day 7: airport visit.
day 8: math with berlinda at amk library. initially with shouhong then miaoting and friend joined.
day 9: met them and rushed off for dinner at airport and sendding sis off.
day 10: last day of salvation!

22/03: GENERAL PAPER
23/03: ECONOMICS PAPER.

ben and jerry's free cone day!

saw this couple on the bus to sHamuel's house and was taken aback. look at how intimately they are sitting next to one another!

ending off with endless thoughts and hesistations. ):
tml is a mug-as-if-there-is-no-tml day.

22/02 - 28/02.

2010-03-08T15:15:00.003+08:00

22- 26/02: CVD preparation goes full swing!

daily meetings and staying back for everything. x=

26/02: last day before CVD.

lessons ended early. stuck in OTR till 3pm when i am expected to stop what i am doing and help the others. running, tearing tapes, pasting tapes, blowing balloons, tying them, pasting them onto the pillars of the walkway and of course, clearing the rubbish, alone.

27/02: CVD.

the running, the perspiration, the talking, the liaison, the shouting (despite my faltering voice), the blood and the tears.

not forgetting my mum meeting mrs teo. x=
and it all ended with my head hitting the pillow and into deep slumber instead of lalaland after a dinner with jie hao, shao wei, ting hui, denice and tracy at northpoint sakura. =D

28/02: stares blankly the whole day and trying to do work.

march: the start of misery.

have to tone down.
have to start studying.
have to control myself.
have to be disciplined.
have to be healthy.
have to sleep early.
have to tllm.
have to eat less, drink less and shyt less.
have to be not zhuang yi, basically.

will not be updating my blog due to the abovementioned. ): if i have any strong emotions and can use the laptop, i will blog. if i have agressive emotions, i will blog elsewhere.

CNY reflection.

2010-02-22T01:45:00.001+08:00

i know that the post title is a bit weird, but who cares? this is my blog, my entry, my post title!

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白
你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

谁记得谁忘了

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛
我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥

谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

我放手我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得
太爱了所以我
没有哭没有说

jasmine said this song makes a person seemed weak coz of the lyrics. i prefer to take it in another manner. weak? nope, it shows that i reminisce. LOL.

14/02 - 21/02.

2010-02-22T01:30:00.000+08:00

14/02: HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! =D

after the cleaning session and countdown, me and my sister went over to christina's boyfriend's house for mahjong. from 1am to 5am for a round. won about 5 bucks? knocked out once my head hits my smiley pillow and woke up the next day only at 3pm.

had homecooked lunch, watched tv, bathed, took pictures then go off to my paternal uncle's house for CNY first day. wore basic tee, berms and my new slip-in shoes. =D tv, steamboat dinner and blackjack.

back home and headed towards christina's boyfriend's house for mahjong again. it was short this time round, about 3.5 hours from 10pm to 1.30amt o finish the round. no wins or losses.

15/02: CNY second day!

woke up and left for maternal grandparents' house at 1pm. wore folded long sleeves, berms and my new slip-in shoes. ate lunch and was feeling bored. so my cousins and my sister started mahjong at 20, 40 cents. well. i lost the most coz i did not win many games and small wins somemore. ):

went to my uncle's house for a while as per annual and had blackjack there. i lost quite a bit again this time round! luck was not so good huh. ): reaching dinner time so we all followed my aunts and my mum back to my grandparents' place to prepare dinner.

of course i did not help. hahaha! i went back to resume the mahjong. =D losing is a part of the game but having fun and scratching my itch for it are more important. HAHAHA. lost more about 11 bucks just for mahjong and forgot how much for blackjack.

16/02: third day of CNY and i stayed home.

17/02: back to college for lessons!

and first day of CVD shirt redemption! response was rather sad and it worried us! out of 800+ that we ordered, only 30 shirts were claimed! but business was brisk at peak period. people just rushed in like nobody's business! i had to care coz it is my business and business (if you get it why i repeat).

18/02: rehearsal for ICC.

woah. the JC 1s really put in lots of efforts! ever thought that the worst for JC 1s can pwn the JC 2s? it is super possible! this batch of JC 1s is amazing. they have already started on tutorials and this kind of non-academical things. cool huh. mentality evolution or?

19/02: dinner with joycelyn and howleong.

went to town to meet them after shirt redemption duty which dragged and almost took my life away when the numbers do not tally! there are not records for 4 shirts and it turned out to be an issue from the JC 2 side! x=

super troubled over it but still, we chatted happily about things over dinner. we left at 10 and we took the train back. i joined the netball gathering (do not doubt, i am not from netball) and bought 6 CUP noodles there. i wondered why janelle caps the cup. hahaha!

ate noodles, talked, mahjong, blackjack, an intellectual game, "i never" and drifted off. hahaha. everyone had their style of sleeping, i slept with the mahjong box under my head while janelle and kai lin stayed up to chat.

i woke when my alarm at 5.30am rang and everyone except qin yi and jia hui gradually woke. we joined kai lin and janelle to take photos. hahaha! trying out the cameras and testing the effects. =D

20/02: lessons in college for OGLs.

reached home at 0745 and rushed to run out of house by 0755 for lessons. and to realize that i forgot my history notes. x= so tired that i kept falling asleep during mrs low's lecture. ): econ was no way better. hahaha. almost zoned out when mr toh was talking, to a small group of us of 6.

and no way that i am going to upload the recording of the lectures anywhere coz it contained evidence of me falling asleep, mrs low waking me and my dumb reply to her random question. x=

went off to meet my sister at PS to get my berry! =D well, it flopped coz i was convinced out of buying a berry and to wait for iPhone 4G. well, it was not a bad deal as my sister promised sponsorship for my prepaid and my iPhone 4G. HAHAHA. wished that you had my sister for yours? TOO BAD. =D

gambling at aaron's house. won 5 bucks despite losing several for blackjack. switched to mahjong and that was a wise choice. pity i could not stay long coz i had a family dinner.

21/02: 1st CAGS. hahaha!

woke up finally when nessa called. hahaha! too tired la! only slept for 3 hours for 2 days. x= borrowed tiles from melissa, bought stuff for my mum and went home to get ready. brought nessa and jia xin to my house then qin yi and jia hui joined us shortly.

started mahjong officially at 3, thanks to qin yi and jia hui who went to buy the mahjong papers. =D we played for 3.5 hours for one full round. woah! that seemed the shortest ever? we switched to blackjack after mahjong and also in between. lost to couples' luck. ):

dinner with qin yi and jia hui when the others left earlier for home and homeWORK. ): chatted till 10 and they left for home. here i am blogging, leaving my work aside and was glad that i managed to account for 3 out of the 4 mysterious missing shirts.

waking up at 4 later to finish all my work! hope that i can do it. x=

31/01 - 13/02.

2010-02-18T22:00:00.004+08:00

31/01: trying to finish my tutorials!

tml is another round of craze, with different people. back to square one. wonder if i can enthuse them the same way as i enthused OG 15. wonder if my methods of enthusing people for the past 6 years could work on them. wonder if they will be receptive to my highness.

SHALL BLOG ON ORIENTATION WHEN I AM FREE. =D
(highly after CVD coz i will be super busy by then!)

04/02: break from orientation, back to lessons!

guess me, tracy and hong yu were still high. me and hong yu almost cheered for tracy when she got an answer correct in ec (not that it was amazing that she got it correct but a miracle when he praised her). LOL.

doing each house's unique actions to them when they walked past my tutorial room is fun. hiding from the tutor and getting the response. guess this is not going to last for long. firstly, orientation is over and i should move on. secondly, i am not very keen to stay high and active after orientation. i am going to stay EQ deificient and nonchalant.

06/02: CVD meeting!

did slides for next week's briefingS. going to try out the survey that ms kwok told me and lay woon about. answer a lot of questions and they will tell you what career you are most suited for.

NPCC 77th CIBTC Appreciation Dinner.
mr tan self sponsored kbox and dinner at the sizzler's. after that, movie 14 blades at marina bay and home sweet home. =D

07/02: first round of CNY shopping.

out with kai lin to shop for new year clothes! we went for HER haircut then to far east to shop. i only bought two berms and a polo which i cannot wear for CNY eventually coz it is black in colour. x=

dinner was at a food court at far east and before that, she told me she saw jing and mel and i said hello. reached home at 11 and the thought of the NEED to finish ALL the work, just made me sleepy. HAHAHA.

08/02: BLUE MONDAY.

exceptionally true when you were so sO SO soaked in orientation mood (which i do not do homework and everyday is just getting sky high and play) and suddenly, you are thrown back to reality; me, a JC 2 student taking A levels THIS year.

after GP, i heard someone calling me from my neighbouring class (CTG 123). it was ms luo who called out for me and asked me to go into the class. woah. my class has prepared something for me, their OGL. a piece of A3 construction paper with notes from almost everyone and 2 photos on it, 3 roses and a small packet of snacks like chocolates and sweets. touched is touched, no tears mean really no tears la. LOL.

09/02: day 2 of harsh reality.

LONG LONG day in college plus CVD meeting at the end of the day. yawns. did publicity stuff again. like what else can i do. HAHAHA. like decorating the walkway with flags, meeting and removing the flags coz of some issues. x=

met fang yu at sun plaza for dinner! =D when she first saw me, she thought, why is that a YJ guy coming down the escalator and not a girl (who she meant me). -,- after that, she thought (again), why is that YJ guy approaching her. -,-

had choices of pastamania and xing wang for dinner which we settled for xing wang. we talked about many things in our lives. does that sound like we have been through and gone through a lot like that. HAHAHA.

10/02: day 3 of harsh reality, but getting used. x=

during history, mrs low was saying that the government was trying to thumb down the extremist groups. she kept repeating thumb and i thought of the activity that we did for olypism for orientation. hahaha. she knew and she was like, zhuang yi, you have to move on.

so true and the truth always hurts so much. i know it too well. i should have known that things would not last long and good. even in econ, we want high AND sustainable economic growth. i wish for, i aim for and i want long and sustainable relationship (whatever kind of relationship you want to guess). but it is not going to come true judging from the increasingly souring relations between us. is it me or is it you?

went home when college ends at 1540. went home to bathe, watch tv, rot and back to college to meet tracy to go to "bugis". according to her, TGO, she does not perspire for HER netball training and that day was an exceptional case, thus after such a long story, we settled for ang mo kio hub.

talked to nessa and jia xin before tracy was totally ready to leave. i do not know why we stayed for so long. is it coz of the ongoing basketball match? idk, idc and icbb. looked at tops and shoes. decided to buy this pair of everlast shoes but did not buy on the spot coz i still want to give myself choices. hahaha!

11/02: long day in college, at least till 4pm nia.

went out with CHONG YU RONG (he told me to mention his name) to bugis then orchard to shop for CNY clothes. i bought two berms and went to change one berms. hahaha. we met cheryl after dinner at orchard. walked around in far east, looked at shirts and she bought one for kenny. after that, she went off with able while me and buddy went home.

E M O trip home though. ):

12/02: TGIF and TGICNY!

"half" day of lessons, which is not really the case. we ended lessons at 1240 and celebration starts at 1340 till 1500. went down for appreciation buffet and was told to finish the survey before eating. of course things were not that easy.

me, aaron and skandan had to go up to settle the shirts which arrived this morning. when we are done, what were left at the buffet was the flying utensils and serviettes. -,- talked to jing then went home to change and met yu rong to get his perry polo.

initially i thought we were meeting joycelyn and howleong but it turned out to be the next fri. x= had dinner with yu rong after getting his polo and met up with nessa and shan with their other-halves (jia xin and wayne). last round of shopping and bought more stuff. two tops from topshop and one from bugis street.

FINALLY, CNY SHOPPING IS DONE.

13/02: haircut again!

woke up late and rushed down to keith's place for a haircut before the Tiger year arrives!

AND I FORGOT TO BUY MY SHOES. when i remembered and i went over to northpoint, the shop is already closed. x= MY GOSH.

in the end, i settled for a pair of north star shoes in bata. my dad commented so much on the process i took for me to buy that pair. if you think he had a hard time convincing me to buy that pair, you are less than half right.

i was SO SIAN that i cannot buy THAT pair of shoes and looking at the standards of the shoes in bata, forget it. when my dad went away for a while, i saw the pair that i can accept. LOL. i tried and felt okay and thus i put the pair aside first, need to ask my sisters. MY DAD JOINED IN THE PICTURE AGAIN. he insisted that i deliberately waited for him to go off then decide. HAHAHA.

reunion dinner was like that lor. HAHAHA. we went off at about 2230 coz my dad's parking coupons expire at that time. after the cleaning session and countdown, (to be continued on the next post). =D

22/01 - 30/01.

2010-01-31T12:15:00.002+08:00

22/01: OGL and CVD!

had OGL test about VMVM and history in the morning and publicity meeting during my one and only break again. -,- lots of things to do! next week is orientation and have lots to finish for publicity. like distribute posters and registration forms to secondary schools. great, i will not be doing presentations anymore. WHATEVER.

last OGL training before the week of orientation comes! we only did our cheers and no others but in the quadrangle. we need warming up and that wasted a bit of time. x= but it should be okay for orientation coz we will be high when we see the JC 1s and thus the time could be a subset of morning assembly. =D

23/01: OGL training!

22nd SC came back to help us! guess 24th cannot handle us (in a way or what), 23rd cannot make it and that is why. WOAH. not easy to handle <100 of us OGLs. not very interested in the neverending POLITICS.

we OGLs really went sky high and showcased each of our cheers, not as the 5 clans but YJC. the standard is achieved only everyone does their part and the feeling is simply great. had 12 rounds after training and i went off immediately after i more or less cooled down. actually no one cared la. so it does not really matter. went for my haircut! the effect was good, i guess. =D

went home to bathe first before meeting jing in town. GOSH. i bet i stank up the whole train and bus twice, to and fro ma. 12 rounds in about 6 songs' timing, 2.4km in about 20 minutes? not very bad la. hahaha. considering i have not ran in a million years.

scolded by my mum and was in a bad mood then do not really want to stay home la. we met in PS starbucks then COV to orchard. walked and chatted, walked and chatted and walked and chatted. took 171 from town to yishun, which was a first time experience coz the ride is long and i usually will not want to stand for the whole long journey home (as compared to standing in the train).

she first sat on the first aid box then i later sat next to her. it was such a roller coaster ride with all the turns and bends. WOAH. an escape theme park ride worth 55 cents! hahaha.

24/01: nua at home day!

dad saw my undercut and asked why is there like a "hole". showed mum and sister and they are okay with it. dad started to joke me becoming a bung. like he might see me holding a girl's hand in town. -,-

25/01: OGL training! released early coz we have math test the next day. had QC for our props for the orientation skit on next mon. WOAH. so excited.

B A D mood. ): went off with tracy, ren hao and jian wei for dinner. initially the guys decided on jalan kayu. but the unwilling tracy told me that it was far and the unwilling me went to hint to the guys that, it is very far leh! hahaha. in the end, we settled for AMK s11 fish and chips. =D

26/01: CF test and OGL training. the test seems easy. =D

mrs kwang promised both 201 and 218 to buy us a cuboid pencil box each if all in the class got A for the test. she also promised the same for the promo paper but the terms is so much more appealing! party leh! but a lot did not make it. hahaha! this time round, she compromised to a B at least.

27/01: sample reaching college early at 0630.

YAWNS. chemistry test was insane. i think if i can get 20%, i will treat my whole class to a buffet. coz i am only confident of 2 marks, empirical formula question.

28/01: orientation day 1.

early in the morning, all gathered in the quadrangle, dispatched to place our bags in the SRC HE room, back to quadrangle and was shouted at to get to the hall immediately. x= i was sort of doing nothing when 26 were in the hall holding the placards and the others welcoming the JC 1s. i was eating my breakfast. hahaha!

but i did things to redeem myself okay! i ran all over to get the doc needed for my OG. what does this mean? communication breakdown. -,- i wonder why OGLs have LONG handphone straps whereby they do not utilize it by hanging on their necks, but putting the phone into the pocket and hanging out the strap. -,-

my (not that i am self-centred and totalitarian but it meant something else) OG 15 was rather down and not warmed up. i think getting response from them during breakfast in the canteen where everyone stared at me for doing so. hahaha! a bit very AA huh. but not as much as some people though.

oh, i saw han ming and emman in OG 16. bringing my OG 15 to the washrooms to change out and next talking to them. telling them my expectations and how i am like as a person (i think i only mentioned that i am loud). hahaha! hall for the nonsensical skit which lasted for only 5 minutes when 45 minutes were allocated to it and the next activity started when i was still eating my breakfast. -,-

generally, i think i am not as good as before. x=
"unpreparedness is the major contributing factor to my cui-ness. to what extent do you agree? thesis: unpreparedness caused the cui-ness.
anti -thesis: insufficient sleep, lack of the presence of her ring and loss of skills also contributed and may have caused more to the cui-ness.

29/01: orientation day 2.

the morale went down again. x= i tried making them laugh and succeeded of course, coz i am THE joke. when i thought i had a good OG, you made me felt otherwise. was it coz i did not reply your texts and that is why you did not co-operate with me? will you dance if i had replied you?

had more ice-breakers and also reminded them of my expectations and told them about abcdfh before proceeding to the hall for college race part 2 briefing. college race part 2 led them sky high. phew! was really glad. mass dance once again made them high, maybe not sky high. hahaha.

generally, glad that my OG was not like the others who did not put in their efforts coz they knew they will be split. as much as they thanked me, i want to thank them for letting me know that i am still good (hahaha, BHB again!) and also brought me mid-sky high.

initially at coffeeshop, then BK, e18ghteen chefs and back to BK for dinner. stayed there until almost 9 when we headed for home. SHAG.

what made me felt worse was that i did not attempt to communicate, go home early to rest and not sleeping after i reached home but PLANNING to do those things which are impossible with that state of mine. x= such as taking my work to think through how to do. my gosh. i am BEYOND retarded.

30/01: math re-test which is such a failed one.

i studied for the wrong paper. -,- i cannot believe myself. what others said made sense. if there was to be a re-test, everyone should sit for it together which made me surer that today's re-test was for the JC 1 topics. OMG.

cleared my table which i already started to stack things on it after a few days. x= when i stack things up, it either means i do not care or i am too tired. i admit that the first stacking was done when i do not care. but i also have to clarify that for the second time, i was too tired after orientation.

like mentioned earlier, i was too tired and it is also my fault. for not communicating, for not going home early to rest and for not sleeping after i reached home but PLANNING to do those things which are impossible with that state of mine. x=

17/01 - 21/01.

2010-01-21T00:30:00.001+08:00

17/01: CVD meeting at northpoint starbucks.

met lay woon and aaron at mac, after they have all eaten, including sheryl and skandan, we made our way to starbucks. i saw loo hui hui! we have not met each other since the official opening of YTSS new campus. that was one year ago! purposely made it sound so long ago. hahaha.

discussion all the way till 6pm when we left for home and unconceived plans of staying over at mac to finish our work. slides and tutorials.

18/01: schoolday 6 as a JC 2, year 3.

lots of work undone! chem math econ tutorials lagging! oh man. i am starting proper work by 7th feb, when orientation ends. i shall think about CVD next. like how much work more to do. x= busy with slides for briefing to JC 2s on thu!

am i ready for the JC 2 fiasco? x=

19/01: CA 1, 2, 3 test.

confirmed failure. when mrs kwang said, "there is third test for all other classes, but for my class, it is special." if you are looking towards the positive end, think again. "you will take until all of you pass. and each test must be improved by 10 marks." was her next statement. my gosh. x=

OGL training after the test but i went off for CVD meeting. slides are not done, teachers talked to the whole committee and our sub committee stayed back and then moved to ishimura to complete.

this is just the beginning! x=

20/01: OGL and CVD clashing!

of course i have to give ALL my attention to CVD as the briefing is tml! went to b1-05 to complete the slides till 1945, saw something which i DO NOT, WILL NOT and DID NOT see and we moved out to block 760 to discuss more details, a mini debate session before moving off to the coffeeshop for dinner and finalization of slides.

need to come up with the confirmed slides, contents, animations, speeches and finally the presentation!

am i cutting myself too much slack? x=

21/01: CVD presentation!

i did the slides till 0045, finished my script only at 0300 and almost at the same time as lay woon. looked through my slides, checked my script against the slides, checked hers against the slides and lastly, a bit of MDWAV IV before sleeping at 0430.

totally weak when i woke up. insufficient sleep plus wobbly thigh muscles due to strenuous PE after 4 months of nua-ing. frantically preparing and trying to get my script digested. but failed. -,-

did not bring my adaptor and everyone was worried that my laptop will have insufficient strength for the assembly. in the end, it was fine, but the worries are not uncalled for!

presentation was fine! =D except me constantly mixing YJC, YOG and CVD up. effects of my humour, BOOMZ and YO were not bad. hahaha! lay woon did great too. she was much smoother. and i was too easily distracted by the people at the backstage. x=

in life, only SOME efforts pay off while some will never. x=

talked to jasmine again about my things, her things and about unit. am i too predictable or does she know me too thoroughly? hahaha. i doubt that she is blind la huh. take care! (:

JC 2 week 1.

2010-01-16T19:20:00.002+08:00

overview of JC 2 week 1.

math, chem and econ tests screwed. glad that i did not have history test BUT if there was one, i think i would have scored for it like for promo question two. =D

moving to other things. CVD meetings and OGL trainings have been picking up on a more frequent basis. orientation is starting on 28th and CVD is on 27th feb. though it seems quite far later, all the work must be done at least a month beforehand!

LOADS OF THINGS TO DO!
1. CVD.
2. OGL.
3. math CA test on 19th.
4. math CF 3 test on 28th.
5. math test review. x=
6. chem retest.

7. READY FOR JC 2 LIFE.

10/01 - 16/01.

2010-01-16T19:00:00.003+08:00

10/01: chiong homework day!

in the end, if you are in my classes, you should know that it was not very successful. hahaha. as i had to do my work in college!

went for CIBTC AAR from 12 to 6. dinner at home and prepare for lessons!

i cannot wait to know how will JC 2 and being with you more turn out to be like. should i be hopeful about the 4-month issue?

11/01: first day back in college!

parade commander was almost late! due to the principal's talk, PE was left with 20 minutes. =D boring lessons as usual. like ec, CH, ma and GP.

OGL training four.
no more mass dance sessions i suppose? hahaha.

i could not think of a reason why you are SO nice and SO sweet to me. as friends? but isn't that too close to be just friends? i really do not know and wish to get the key to your locked mind. ):

12/01: cannot remember much.

went out to meet jing at mac. jing took my phone and wanted to delete everything away, but i got agitated and took it back. sat there for 1.5 hours, talked to her before going off when her mum came.

talked to qinyi and jiahui after i reached home till 12 plus which i told them i need to sleep coz of lessons tml. such a sweet story they had, such sweet experiences that both enjoyed with each other.

i want my emotions, tears and everything unleashed, but it just did not happen. wonder why am i doing this to myself? trying to destroy my life further by wanting to hang onto you and ALMOST re-picking up something what i have took time, effort and endurance to quit.

13/01: lessons ended early!

i was exploited of my time to do my work. ): in the end, i only managed to finish my history. by rights, i could have finished all my work except the GP articles (coz i think i will only do it by the last minute). i was at the wednesday expresso due to the exploitation, went to the band booth and talked to andrea, netball booth to talk to qinyi, jiahui and kailin, SRC to finish my work and lastly, quadrangle to see the last part of training when things happened and waited for hong yu and tracy.

did cheer practice with marv leading at wed ex. ended about 7.
dinner with the netballers and tinghui. stayed on to talk to qinyi and jiahui.

reality struck real fast and all the impacts came hitting right into my face, repeatedly one by one over this week. what a way to start my JC 2 life. well, in the view of qinyi, jiahui and of course mrs teo, it is still early in the year. never hope that the impacts came later, such as before major exams like the previous O's?

14/01: parade commanding with retarded skirt.

one thing to clarify, my skirt is not tight. -,- it may seem so as i have to make it look longer. it was successful for looking longer, but not normal. thus, looking as if it was too small for me.

stood for GP for the lesson, but others got thrown out for not bringing the book. x= ma, CH, HT and then break. wasted the history lesson away coz we were talking about anything and everything. rather easy to start mrs low talking.

two droning hours of math after that and i melted down a little.

it may seem that i am emo today. but i was thinking about a lot, a lot of things. such as, what should i do if it is confirmed? what are my plans? what will my reaction when i become honest? i hate to think of these, and thus avoided such questions for the past 4 months.

15/01: first EC.

who was the first to remind mrs kwang that we have 1.5 hours of lessons when she wanted to stop after one hour? -,- super irritating.

one thing to clarify, i am not fat okay! i have to lose weight, i know coz i am not very happy with my current shape, but i am not fat! or maybe, i THINK that i am not?

did group work about an essay question meant for RJC students. totally cracking our lousy YJC brains. x= meeting with ms kwok and publicity. left halfway, and my things left in SRC. x= lunch bought by hong yu and chemistry tutorial with a question shot from andy chng to me. to think that he said that he only will call out those he does not know. -,- he called me after he said he knows the parade commander!

i did not believe that i will doze off during lessons for at least the first week, first proper history tutorial, but i did that. totally gone for the whole tutorial when mrs low started talking about the lecture slides. not that she is boring, maybe a bit due to the afternoon heat, maybe another bit due to the fact that it is the last lesson though not from four to five, BUT i only slept from 0645 to 0800. x= trying to finish all the GP articles.

dinner with kai lin. of course we talked about many things over dinner. from the point we met each other to saying bye, it was two hours.

guess that my life has to go on without you. ):

16/01: OGL training five.

reported at 0830, had scolding and punishment which is 5 rounds of the track. delayed till 0920, house meeting till 0930 and telematch started.

same group as the college race's group. travelled from stations to stations, games to games and finally, "protect the paper" which is jing's station, my last station. informed that we cannot play with water BUT we poured the water away, onto people. what was great was that jing poured half the bottle onto me.

mass dance with kun yuan. me and the other guys had to teach him while dancing, with cedrick acting pro nia. after that, YJ banja and an action "song". debrief, more punishments, cheer practice and HOME.

whatever emotions to be spilled, have been done over these few days.
the NEED to get over you,
the DESIRE to tell you everything,
the RELUCTANCE to let go of you, so much.

saw the below paragraph in my email today.

"LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible."

true true, how true those words are.

07/01 - 09/01.

2010-01-09T17:45:00.000+08:00

07/01: department meeting and mugging.

reluctantly woke up at 1130 for the meeting at 1230. settled the logo FINALLY, more or less the shirts and the flyers. publicity work is finishing soon (i hope)! left with banners, posters, collboration with YOG, facebook and distribution of shirts when they are here.

studied for math test after that. nothing much is going in. x= felt really tired in the SRC and thus, i returned home at 6.

I NEED UNDISTURBED SLEEP!

08/01: math test and CVD meeting!

confirmed failure. =D
was late coz i have to get home to bring my laptop. -,- stood for 25 minutes and sat after that. more and more things stagnant! come on, come on. wasted 2 hours doing some things. irritated by everything.

dinner at subway with tracy, ren hao and jian wei. talking about nonsense, serious things and some fooling around. hahaha.

the non existent distance between us. (:

09/01: OGL training three!

did everything time-wasting from 9 to 10 (and some productive work la huh) and got more injured. yi shang wei hao, yi shang you lai (yi bo wei ping, yi bo you qi). x=

college race trial. cikgu asked, what is the purpose of going through this. well. as who i am, i knew exactly what to say. but i guess something is still holding me back. must remove that barrier by monday, the next training!

things like, "trouble shooting from the leaders' views, trouble shooting from the participants' views, seeing if the activities are fun, finding out the AFIs and going through the experiential cycle".

race started and i managed to come up with a list of AFIs and things to take note. waiting for a proper debrief which i think OGL trainings have been lacking. mass dance in the hall under cikgu's supervision. she expressed her disappointment which i clearly can understand why. seniors and peers came back today so i can expect more shyt.

indeed, shyt came, not from the seniors, but the peers and the juniors, MY junior. i feel so insulted, just coz they have the brand, student leaders stamped on their faces, their bodies, their limbs and their arses, they did all the nonsense.

when my batch sucks, i think the younger stinks.
- this is not based on one incident today nor is it based on today.

maybe due to what is it in human beings like you and me, i prefer the seniors. shermaine talked to us in a NICE tone, respected us like how she would want RESPECT from us and eventually got it, boosted our falling-into-an-endless-pit MORALE (which then again, i think this should not be happening as we OGLs should have everlasting high morale) and TAUGHT us things which no one had, YET (as benefit of the doubt).

discussed this with anurag and again with hong yu over journey and lunch at KFC. ultimate value box and the ULTIMATE hong yu. (:

we walked from KFC to RSH and other sports shops, popular, giordano and cold storage. we talked about OGL training, our dreams (not ambitions that kind of dreams), licenses, academics, texts, maths trail next year (suggesting pulau ubin? LOL), shirts and shoes. home sweet home!

to prevent myself from falling asleep, i did housework again. and checking everywhere for updates. freshly created FACEBOOK, hotmail, yahoo mail, blogger, LJ, LMS, yahoo groups and now blogging! feels quite good to be alone at home. =D

tml is the CIBTC AAR. quite glad that i already finished mine and submitted. just left with the long hours tml to go through everything! like what the committee has done for the past 3 months. summarizing everything in (estimated by me) 8 hours?

LOADS OF THINGS TO DO!
1. CVD.
2. OGL.
3. AAR.
4. chemistry test on monday.
5. forty GP articles.
6. history reflectionS.
7. econ test on tue.
8. math test review. x=
9. math tests on 19th and 28th.
10. ready for 2010!

new year resolutions 2010.

2010-01-06T18:15:00.003+08:00

some new year resolutions for 2010.

review of last year's which is the same as 2008's.

"1. lose weight? oops. that is a bit, yeah.
2. grow taller? i must catch up with lizzie worsxz. hahaha.
3. earn more money?
4. keep my temper in MORE check.
5. take care of myself.
6. quit as many bad habits (too many to list).
7. improve on my current skills."

i guess most are valid but not so important to me.

2010's resolutions!
1. licenses by 2011. =D
2. get everything i want. =D
3. save to spend!
4. be more healthy! exercise more!
5. keep my focus there!
6. be zai and no flaws!
7. ace our A levels. (:

01/01 - 06/01.

2010-01-06T18:00:00.001+08:00

01/01: dinner at xiao yun's!

met up with her at admiralty mrt station and she was with celeste and gui qin. we went to buy drinks and xiao yun was complaining about the mango trees. apparently a mango landed on her one day. x=

explored her house a little and here comes everyone! her godparents with their families and her lawyer. of course, me, yvonne, huimin, celeste and qui qin. =D played cards in her room with white and red wine.

"come everyone, DAH!" =D

02/01 - 04/01: i forgot. hahaha.

but i think i did housework. like washing the fans, vacuuming the floor. i remembered having manhattan fish market for dinner on sunday. that is all i remember.

05/01: CVD meeting!

updates of deadlines and department stuff!

06/01: OGL training.

going through of canberra cheers and decided on combining some! i am brainstorming for more! canberra and most importantly, we three must BOOMZ the whole orientation la. =D

ice breakers. and i am injured by hong yu! ):

oh. and derrick came over and say to us, who here knows the mass dance? after being sabotaged by bruce, tracy sabotaged me. thus me and derrick danced for peirce and canberra. going there, i cheered and said, i am finally back in peirce and introduced myself to them.
come on, that is the OGL spirit, right?

mass dance in the hall. SIAN. must partner someone of opposite sex. x= i partnered marvin, hong yu and cedrick while tracy's partner is royston. i had fun dancing with marvin. plus being the guides for hong yu and cedrick who missed orientation and have never danced the mass dance before.

for once, me and cedrick switched places, cedrick and marvin switched again and we danced! all in all, i danced with hong yu while marvin danced with cedrick. without the guides, i can tell that they cannot dance as well as the previous trials. x=

extra training on sat! woah!
after that, lunch with jing, tracy and zheng rui. back home to revise for tests then ms kwok reminded me of the designs. oh man. back to that again. and i realized i know nuts about the program tracy downloaded for me. x=

jing is at my house now. studying while i am blogging. so much work for me to do!
blogging is done. still got CVD, OGL, revision for math test, chemistry test, econ test and the 40 newspaper articles! ):

finally blogging again. it feels quite good. =D

22/12 - 31/12.

2010-01-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

22/12: happy 2nd anniversary to me as a CI. =D

23/12: went to cut my hair, finally!

this is a picture of me later. hahaha. i took this only on sat. =D

24/12: christmas eve at mark's!

millions of pictures! most are in batchmate julitta's camera. =D dinner, playing uno stacko, singapore version's taboo plus Instructors' editted version and also a bit of blackjack. =D

exchange of presents starting after we missed the actual countdown. we pretended that it has not passed and starting counting down from 15. hahaha! i received caine's chocolates and amanda got my organizer. oops. quite weird to give her an organizer. x=

clearing up and clearing up. left his house at about 0115. reached home at 2 when jeremy drove me, vincent, brandon and yong kang home.

25/12: christmas at aunt's!

went with sis to aunt's place. nothing much to do except helping with the food, as in help to not cook but also arranging and eating. =D clarissa said she does not like my hairstyle, and i told her meanly, "i do not really care you know. coz the others find my hairstyle now nicer." hahaha. mean huh.

feasted and started drinking when the sun sets. coz i thought it was quite early to drink initially. like 5 plus 6, so i told my uncle when the sun sets. hahaha. the moment the sky darkens, he came over to me and reminded me.

viewing of my aunt's pictures when they visited korea. nice scenery! with the snow and my cousins freezing. hahaha. receiving presents next. got a wallet from my aunt and chocolates from my cousin. wallet was from penang when i said i wanted it then my aunt said it shall be for christmas. x=

26/12: went out with them! =D

met up at vivocity. realized that half of singapore is there so we moved to plaza singapura. we met tracy at harbourfront mrt station and she showed us this pair of geek specs she bought from taiwan.

lunch at cathay astons.

btw, that is hong yu's bag i am carrying. (:

movie (bodyguards and assassins) at the cathay. great movie! home sweet home then. ):

27/12: nua nua nua.

28/12: CVD meeting.

mr oun's style: some ice breakers first! something like taboo.
next was stuff proper. went through what the others did last year for CVD, each department's stuff and department meeting.

29/12: OGL first training.

which was a meeting that they told us what they expected of us, AAR of orientation 2009 and some mini ice breakers.

after that, me, aaron and jeremy celebrated jia hui's birthday for him.

not fun getting very high huh. hahaha. when i got slightly high, i went over to the swing and started to swing myself. x= called many people but none of them picked up. only xiao xing did. thanks a lot for listening to my nonsense. =D

me talking nonsense to xiao xing, aaron disturbing me when i was on the phone, jeremy squatting next to the open drain, jia hui without his shirt. hahaha.

we were walking back to khatib mrt station, beside cchsy, i saw song rong. i told them that he is a CI and guess what did jia hui do? he recited the NPCC pledge. omg! and no errors okay! hahaha.

30/12: unit orientation campfire!

did my AAR then went to unit for campfire. i reached there at 4, continued setting up the structure and the campfire pit. two tripods, campfire pit and the securing of the 'stage'. drizzle came and left us, thank god.

i realized there are some annual questions, annual replies and annual reactions during campfire. XD. it might be the same again next year, if nothing goes wrong! i fed fire for the first or second time? i think i did last year, for orientation campfire too. no other opportunities offered. x=

unit meeting and i think i am supposed to type the minutes? LOL. minor clearing up and home sweet home.

31/12: countdown with charlians at hongliang's!

went over to the bus stop to tampines and saw terence and wen qi. they are also going over to hongliang's place for the new year party. waited for bryan, melvin and pan shin who were awfully late! x= missed 5 buses and took the 6th one at 1745 when meeting time was at 1730 at tampines. hahaha.

watched dvds while eating pizzas and drinking ILT, IAT, green tea and ice cream soda. scream 3 is good while borat was, erm, hilarious? LOL. amazed by the plot and the way they made the movie. hmm. will bruno be the same? i have the dvd at home yet finds it difficult to watch. hahaha.

all of them went home early and threw me and hongliang there. -,- watched murders of the inugami clan when the others called us and starting counting down. i merely said happy new year to hongliang and continued to watch the movie. hahaha!

anyway, what attracted me to watch was the fact that the storyline had kindaichi (jin tian yi) to solve the murders but it was not the young one. but a 50 odd years-old kindaichi with dandruff. x=

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

cruise!

2009-12-27T23:30:00.007+08:00

off to cruise on 6th dec afternoon. the queue was long at harbourfront ferry terminal. x= went to shop for snacks with my cousins and my uncle's money. hahaha! total of 22 bucks. x= i had to fork out 2 bucks okay!

my cousin lucas.

tried to squeeze everyone in! cousin, grandparents, cousin, mum, uncles.

we checked in and my room! =D balcony, toilet and room.

after that, tea break!

i toured the ship alone! as an 18 year-old kid, no one bothered about me. =D i roamed the whole ship, from top front deck to bottom to the other end of the ship. i forgot my pacing, if not i could have self calculated the length of the ship. many facilities like disco, mahjong room, card room, board game room, spa and fitness aka gym, gelato ice cream cafe, writing room, library, ocean's hair and beauty aka salon, child care centre, swimming pool, cinema, arcade, bellini aka a small pub, duty free shops, gallery of photographs, casinos in many other names. woah!

the reception level.

starting from the library.

next, the disco. dancing nobody.

mahjong and board games room.

top deck for the swimming pools. before that, evacuation drill.

child care centre, next to arcade.

duty free shops and makan places. one of them is the blue lagoon. if you are not a balcony room person, you have to use your own money to eat there!

western dinner!

the supper gang! =D

sleep and then breakfast!
this is what they call coco crunch on international cruise. LOL.

touring the cruise a bit more.

soon enough, PENANG!
lunch was at a shopping mall and we ate something like hong kong cafe, not much special so i decided not to waste my time to upload the pictures. hahaha.

dinner at chinese restaurant.

ice-creaming at gelato.

exploring the top deck. and helicopter pad!

playing ang moh chess.

playing checkers.

once again, breakfast before phuket!
we are unable to "park" the cruise at phuket coz it does not have a proper place to do so. thus, we have to take ferries over to the shore! they are just bigger bumboats in a way?

going onboard the bigger bumboats.

had to walk from where we got off the ferries to the shore. by some platforms.

taken on the nice and empty beach coz it was about 9am there.

booked a minivan for our whole family! 5 "kids" squashed in 4 seats! someone will ALWAYS have to sacrifice their sitting posture and it was not fun lor. but still, we squeezed fun out of being uncomfortable!

went to a shopping mall for lunch and shopping!

the cinema there. straight outside here, the theatres.

taken outside the shopping mall.

shopping at some streets near the beach.
this belgium guy was doing tattoos. all over! through traditional needling method. ouch! he said he would need things to keep his mind off the pain, if not. x=

taken of the beach after shopping. at about 4pm or so?

on our way back. taken from the ferry.

Captain's Gala Dinner.

we slept in for breakfast and the next meal, lunch!

using more dining credits by eating MORE!

reaching singapore.

me at the balcony.

"do you hear me talking to you
across the water across the deep blue ocean
under the open sky
oh my, baby i'm trying

boy, i hear you in my dreams
hear your whisper across the sea
keep you with me in my heart"
you make it easier when life gets hard"

HOBTC investiture.

2009-12-21T21:00:00.006+08:00

a simple ceremony in the auditorium with no guests. of course i am not one of the graduands. =D i was there to "witness" my squad instructor on getting her black cane award. that statement sounds weird but i went to HTA to show my support. hahaha!

i was not there for the ceremony coz everyone was in uniform and it seemed really dumb for me to be in the auditorium in civilian attire. x= i only went over from the stadium for a surprise which was not very welcomed. x=

took many photographs (not me) and waited for hot stuff jasmine to finish her business at her booth (photo taking with jasmine booth) to take ONE unit photograph. at first it could be earlier, but when she told us to hurry up as she was free for a while, we told her to go back. hahaha. very mean.

like finally, it is my turn!

my kayaking coach! and i chatted with him in area 9 ATC.

blah blah blah. waited till the cows come home at 5. waited for once in a blue moon to appear at 5 plus. we finally reached lot one at 6 when the ceremony was supposed to end at 3. maybe it did, but squad time and mass camwhore session took too long. -,-

i complained to her on my way to lot one on the bus. about the character, the skills and the dynamics. totally cannot make it la. she gave me two options and personally advocates and exercises the second. hmm. i am not sure. till 11 months later ba.

dinner at KFC, some new nonsensical black pepper chicken which almost took my life away. i realized i do stupid things with her. like reciting the KFC service pledge which everyone sees in front of the basin. totally sickening! after that was home sweet home.

emo-ed for 30 minutes at the stadium. nice place with strong winds which can blow my bag away totally! but not my worries. ): thought about things. thought about more things. thought about people. thought about more people. fantastic place for some reflection. (=

13/12 - 20/12.

2009-12-20T01:00:00.003+08:00

13/12: ATC briefing!

reached kilimanjaro room at 10 to see the ATC shirts on the floor. i guess i am fine with any colour and not really excited to see it coz it was not what i voted for. ): however, i was really shocked to see the common blue with black collars and cuffs! navy blue won all other colours but it was d08's blue with black replacing the white. so called the rotten smuffs.

lunch was mac delivery and continued to 2pm before touching instructors' lessons. all the way until 4 then we started to practise our performance for the first time. it was quite horrible! hahaha. keys were off, lyrics was slurred coz we do not know, actions were awkwardly done by us and everything do not come together. hahaha! still, i believe our performance will still be a blast. =D

went home to check mail for proposal. waiting for trainees to send in while eating dinner. have to finish them real soon coz i still need to go over to jasmine's house for stayover. in the end, when i said i wanted to reach her house by 8, i only received the trainees' proposals by 8. -,-

vetting, sending, taking my stuff, going off, waiting for bus, travelling, walking over and i reached at 10. -,- super late la. but still, she was doing her group identity. blue ray, thus her identity was some blue strip of cloth with blue and a sting ray. cool huh.

talked talked talked, she talked, i talked, she packed, i helped her to pack and we went to sleep only at 1am. oh man! so late la. confirmed will die easily for ATC de lor. plus i am going to have debrief sessions until at least 1am every night. x= but i only officially fell asleep at 2am when i am on the floor, which i do not know why. x=

14/12 - 17/12: CIBTC ATC.

well done jean grey. (=
for the efforts put in, for the mistakes you have made to let all of you learn, for the memories you have given us, each and every one of you. all 19 of you allowed me to learn 19 adjectives and i hoped i have taught you something.

felt really lonely. listening to the sad song as i am typing now. which made this part more emo, which will cause a big difference between the abovementioned and what are coming next.

people mature, people change. i may not have matured, i may not have changed. is that what made me different from others? is that what made things more difficult for me to accept? is that what i cannot and do not know?

washing dishes almost every meals, eating late and leaving early every time, meal duties every meal. you can say that i have ulterior motives, whatever. but these are what that threw me into deep thoughts all the time. about how and why things have changed within a year, about how and why people changed so fast within a year, about how and why i have not moved on within a year.

18/12: investiture rehearsal.

went down after publicity meeting. felt out of place coz firstly i do not know what to do, secondly, i am doing things that i am told. x= helped with finding stuff, helped with coiling twine, helped with logistics, helped with clearing things. am i more of a SGW or what i am supposed to be?

19/12: investiture.

duty was delta registration. hmm. a guy asked me a random question which was, if i was from tanjong katong sec. hahaha. another trainee's friend asked if i know her coz she was from tanjong katong girls. random area 11 people.

wonder auxillaries. i really wonder.

seeing their investiture reminded me of 73rd CIBTC passing out "parade". on that day itself, we finally successfully formed the formation. but the weather failed us. ): cat one was announced after we have formed up at the sides! waited and decision was made to move into harmony hall for a ceremony. ): what i heard is that, after we have moved into the harmony hall, cat one is over! nevertheless, this is our only souvenir. ):

that is mingjun over there. hahaha. thinking back, i also remember the course days, ATC days, parade trainings and of course what happens before and after falling in in the harmony hall.

parade training, lunch, prarde training, squad time (russell and i exchanging identities, stealing of jasmine's round hat), (i think we did not have doing up of uniforms), forming up, adjusting my uniform, moving into harmony hall with a low batch morale, donning of ranks (by jasmine and pei en), reception, flashback video, phototaking, going crazy, falling in, back to classroom, COA into our CI shirts as d07.

such wonderful memories. (:

back to d09. =D

so fast a year has past. x= thinking back at d08 with haojun as my partner, charlie as my squad, more batchmates were around. this course was really foreign to me. syllabus, trainees and even the committee members. ): felt really lonely la. ):

one trainee took a photo with me and i thought that would be the first and last. from TKGS. next was desmond asking me to eat with them at the table. felt really bad coz i left my empty plate there and left with my batchmates to look for our course coordinator, neo soon keng who was caught taking food with mr quek's son. -,- taking food is not wrong, but making us run all over the hall to find him is. hahaha!

next was gavin and his friends. really random for his friends to join but still taken. hahaha. running all over, seen people like julitta, joseph, michelle and vincent, taken more photographs like the elite ones, the sui bian ones and with audrey (alvin's sister) who commented that me and zhiguang seemed very close during course so she wanted to take a picture with us. ran all over again, seen more people like calista, fiona and macrina, left the harmony hall with me and zhiguang disturbing jolene about her height. =D

attended d08, attended d09. may be attending d10 and so on. i guess i will meet more trainees and try to inspire more. was really disappointed with myself, with the instructors, with the trainees. was thinking back why did i come for d09. was thinking why did i apply for d08. was thinking why did i want to go for d07 even. zakiah's words set me thinking even harder.

d09 changed many things. my WOC (still trying to recall MINE), my mentality, my willingness to put in the efforts. nvm, coz NPCC is over for me till 11 months later.

20/12: nua nua nua. had weird dreams again.

random one:
i dreamt a scene when i was about to get married. -,- in the saem scene, my dad was commenting about my results as compared to someone (i think the person is that special one). the person told everyone around not to tell me about what my dad said about my results. i cried out and said, like i cannot hear and see!

due to that, when my dad tried to wake me up at 1530, i showed him attitude. i kicked inside the blanket i was in. he complained to my mum of me showing him attitude. XD. i woke up realizing that whatever nasty things he said was in my dreams, i kept telling myself, all in my dreams, all in my dreams, he did not say that, he did not say that, repeatedly.

going out with the na-s on next sat. will be meeting jing one fine day too. hahaha. depending on which day i guess. =D

29/11 - 12/12.

2009-12-12T17:48:00.003+08:00

long time since i last updated. shall take time off my "busy" schedule to do it.

29/11: FAOW at ECP.

met michelle for lunch at parkway parade. i was late, she was late, we were late. hahaha. walked from carpark b or c to the beginning of ECP. in another words, from BBQ pit 20+ to BBQ pit 1. a very long way in and my feet hurt. x=

rather angry and disappointed after the whole duty. many things happened and i guess that will be what to take note in the future? i mean, LESS probable future.

30/12: nua-ed the whole day at home.

01/12: out with fang yu and tracy! photos to be found at tracy's blog.

met up with fang yu and waited for tracy while walking around in vivocity. somehow or rather, i asked if she wants to treat us to lunch or movie. fang yu suggested to tell tracy that we got GV max/gold class tickets. hahaha. but in the end, she said she will treat us to ben's and jerry instead.

in the end, we forgot. -,- but to tracy when you are reading this post, i will remind you. =D and we will be going out again to let you treat us.

chalet! bbq food. saw elise and chester when my cousin was there too. played with them and then my cousins and i went for a pool session. underperformed as compared to the zai session at si yuan's house. hahaha.

02/12: shopping with jasmine!

met up at tampines after i was late for about 2 hours. x= not really my fault, really. i was pang seh-ed by my uncle who offered to drive me there, but i had to take a bus. oh yeah. we had to meet up at tampines central BHG's e2 section. -,-

briefly walk through tampines central, tampines one and tampines mall before moving off to bugis street. somehow or rather, she could not find what she saw and i could not see what i want. ): moving on to iluma! bought taiyaki and walked walked. she saw a nice dress with a nice price at one of the shops. we timed the duration that the escalator takes to bring us to 4th floor. hahaha. blah blah.

bugis junction was nothing much but i bought a watch. =D black strap, silver surroundings and green insides. i do not think i can wear for course, but still i cannot deny it is nice so i bought it!

her dress was in the end bought in bugis junction i think. hahaha. after dinner at pasta mania (her treat, for what lame reason, i forgot) then we moved to army market to meet harry. bought million of things and spent billions. x=

went to the wrong direction for the shuttle to chalet at tanah merah, thus i cabbed in from changi village. x=

03/12: interview in college and ATCD 2.

went back to aunt's house after checking out of the chalet. rotted for about 6 hours in total. watched 1.5 movies, slept for .5 movie, slept for another hour, played with cookie (my cousin's smelly dog) then left for home.

i swear i still smell of cookie after bathing. x= interview was okay, i think. not much issue. whether i will get in or not, it is another issue. x= COA and went to HTA for ATCD 2. first time seeing the trainees. nice corporate shirts they have. HAHAHA. i think i had gastric pains coz i did not eat lunch and ate super late.

04/12: OC's wedding dinner.

went to jasmine's house at 4 plus to accompany her to buy her stuff opposite her house. very near actually, with my heavy bag. x= blah blah blah. changed and there we go. not much things to say la. except that jun yi was quite disturbing. hahaha. he commented on how i look in my sister's dress. well, he commented on me, so i commented on him too! =D

did stupid things outside the hall. not me, but jasmine. XD. shall not elaborate to embarrass her. only jiamin, me and her know, hopefully only we three. not sure if there were surveilliance cameras around. =D

05/12: NRC day 6 @ ubin.

slept at 2, woke up at 5, left at 645. i felt prepared! auxed to alpha and delta for FS and tent. felt really "good" after the two rounds of noordin field led by abdullah. x= delta is a rather dangerous squad when they erect their FS. x=

06/12 - 09/12: cruise!

will have a separate post about the cruise. really lazy now and not enough time to post this entry including the cruise. x=

10/12: NRC day 10. SICK!

sore throat after reaching home after the cruise. x=

aux down to charlie for FDR and floated for the two sessions of AD and WD.

really disappointed. need someone to talk to. ):

11/12: NRC day 11. SICK!

aux down to alpha for UI. finished the fastest. hahaha! i wonder why. x=
aux down to delta and alpha for drills assessment.

really disappointed. still need someone to talk to. ):

emo at the end of the day when i left earlier than them and alone. guess it is a combination of my specs, watch and ring. do not ask me why but it just happens.

12/12: SICK.

slept for 16 hours from 1145 onwards to 1545.

it does not feel right shopping when i am sick.
it does not feel right not seeing you for so long.

28/11.

2009-11-28T21:00:00.002+08:00

reluctantly woke up at 1045 when they came. they, referring to the people who are installing new air conditioners for us, reached by 11. snorts. super tired coz i slept at only 330 yesterday night, or rather today morning after playing with my sister's iPhone games and watching a tv show.

thinking about that tv show reminds me of the conversation that me and xiao hong had on thursday. something about someone's ambition as a forensic. hmm.

back to today, back to reality, back to zhuang yi.

lunched, mum's shows, second round of food, iPhone games, DS games.

they left and we started WORK.
firstly, we prepared the water for mopping the floor.
while mum was sweeping up the debris, i moved everything to my study room. adding onto the weight, was my backbone problem which seemed to return to find me!
secondly, i started to vacuum the floor. long hair is really a hindrance and a nuisance.
thirdly, i mopped the floor and mum removed the bedsheets and stuff coz they are really really dirty and dusty.
if you think it is over, definitely not. we had to mop the floor a second round, move the things back and wait for the floor to be dry.

it is as if chinese new year is nearing and we are doing spring cleaning! x= i even wanted to ask my mum to switch on some CNY songs to get ourselves in the mood. but, CNY is in 2.5 months' time and i was afraid that our neighbours might think that we are crazy, so i did not even try asking. hahaha.

DINNER! and that should mark the end of super SHAGgish today?

FAOW. tml. 1230. ECP visitor centre. my type of casual attire.
lot more shows on my playlist yet to be played! x=

30th: chalet.
1st: chalet. fang yu, tracy and crystal. ATCD 1.
2nd: chalet.
3rd: chalet. interview. ATCD 2.
4th: chalet. wedding dinner.
5th: NRC.
6th - 9th: xiao hong back! cruise.
10th: ATCD 5.
11th: ATCD 6. ATC FB.
12th: NCOC AP. ATC FB.
13th: ATC FB.
14th - 17th: CIBTC ATC.
18th: ICR. NCOC.
19th: IC. tracy's birthday. NCOC.
20th: NCOC.
24th: CIP (1000 - 1200)
25th: christmas!
26th: training.
28th: training.
30th: training.

which means, i only have six days free, EXCLUDING CVD meetings and OGL trainings IF i get in. life is a bit of a chore huh. and with this length of hair, annoying.

19/11 - 27/11.

2009-11-27T15:00:00.001+08:00

19/11: blah blah blah.

i managed to clear some of my outstanding work before going off for ATC. my momentum is slowing down and i cannot let this carry on!

20 - 22/11: area 9 ATC.

first time as an external. first time feeling so useless. first time ever so high during campfire. first time being so slack.

22/11: grandmother's birthday celebration.

came back from ubin, back home, bathed, packed and went over to grandparents' house for dinner and celebration. woah. shag shag shag. lost my appetite and momentum of eating and went to my uncle's room to watcht he online show that i have missed for almost a week.

shag shag shag. almost fell off my uncle's lorry when i was in my carpark. in the position as if i was abseiling. -,- slept almost immediately after i reached home!

23/11: OSIM OSIM.

worse this time round as i have not recovered from my lack of sleep. x= only slept for 8 hours during the camp. slept earlier and had 8 hours of rest on sunday night BUT still not enough. x= usually need to sleep for 17 hours on sundays, let alone after a training camp. x=

while waiting for the principal dialogue session, i was playing my DS before shawn finished his book and wanted to play. next, i was chatting with ian dan. OMG. we were chatting so happily about our idol JAY CHOU and our fates. hahaha! like what would we do if If IF we cannot make it to the uni and also if we were to be withdrawn this year.

well well well, the scenarios are so not going to happen coz we will be the top of the cohort next year instead of the opposite! =D blah blah blah. i realized i could have left my ring back at KFC but i totally ignored it. went to buy sweets and back to college for the dialogue session. slept super early again coz i was still tired. x=

24/11: another shag day.

i just cannot sit still in chemistry lecture. it is quite boring, i am not quite interested, i am so tired, i might just fall asleep. x=

she saw what she should not. i received at least five strong solid slaps on my left shoulder, my ring and reprimanding. however, i am unwilling to go through that again. if i was to be tempted, i would have crossed over to the dark side earlier everytime i am with them. really.

25/11: cca day.

and i wonder why i do not have training. -,-

million of work due this week!
- admin backup proposal
- CCA write up
- open house booth plan
- CCA planning template
- surFIVErace registration
- AVD T&D stuff
- contacts to be documented

26/11: last day of lessons!

maybe my brain was already tuned to the holiday mood that i slept for 30 minutes during math tutorial. torturous! two hours of lesson with zero motivation sia!

i welcome with both my hands wide open for the holidays!

27/11: happy birthday chuan jing!

preparation for course and start of holidays (and my misery).

as i had said...

2009-11-22T21:00:00.002+08:00

i am really tired of all these.

no matter who started it all, i am not going to get myself in THAT again!

13/11 - 18/11.

2009-11-18T22:00:00.001+08:00

13/11: friday the thirteenth! =D

i was supposed to watch both the friday the thirteenth shows but i was too busy. ): preparation for tml and realized i have a lot of things that i need to possess but not. x= last minute preparation kills. x=

14/11- 15/11: IPC ATC.

mind over body.
stretch our potential.
to achieve more and beyond.
what is our mission and vision.

happened to find out that brandon lives a road across from my block. now i have a friend who goes the same way home as me. hahaha! can also share the cab if needed. =D

16/11: OSIM.

release of results at 1530 in the hall. i think i only got mine at 1600? coz some people enjoy the attention at the front, holding the mike and ranting nonstop. i only attained my aim for econ result which is a C.

GP C
CH E
MA C
EC C
HT E (8 and 18)

ranking point of 70 out of 100 (inclusive of PW and MT). quite lousy and a bit far from my aim of at least 90? x=

past were the days whereby chemistry exams were handwriting practices for me. past were the days whereby i was still confident of myself. past were the days whereby i could easily summon my courage.

17/11: moodless to push on. x=

results are out but still, i need time to get over them. x= i need to pick up my mood and also to gather my studying enthusiasm. well well well. booked for already 20 out of 43 days in the holidays. hmm. i shall plan for the other 23 days for productive activities soon!

18/11: declarations, 1, 2, 3!

not in ms aminah's lecture group anymore. THE FEELING AND THE EXPERIENCE ARE TOTALLY HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, VEGETABLE. the lecturer wastes time on his sarcasm, wastes time on the lecture group by waiting for replies and also asking questions which are irrelevant. not that i am already used to ms aminah's lecture style, but the three lecturers i had last year, did not behave like that. -,-

after lessons, i went to find char and went off with them to mac and had my tea time and their dinner. hahaha. coz i had lunch and going to have dinner at home thus tea time.

continuing with my online shows. plus i realized i have a lot of things not done! like lessonplan, course attendance, ATC stuff, AVD D4 stuff and NCOC. wonderful.

ye shen ren jing de shi hou...

2009-11-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

i can't live without you.
i can't live without you.
i can't live without you!
i can't live...

09/11 - 12/11

2009-11-12T22:15:00.003+08:00

when love ends, it may not be coupled with aftermath hatred.
but before love ends, utter disappointment must have been felt.

were those tears of sadness or fatigue?
perhaps, i really did cry myself asleep.

09/11: first day of the 2nd week of lessons!

cannot wait for the "first" to become "last" and "2nd" to become "4th". ):

lessons lor. math, chem and econ. that is all. well. these two weeks (previous and this) are for h2s while next two will be for all four content subjects. in simpler terms, including the h1. for those who are taking four h2s, wait, do you think i care about them? joke!

okay! on second thoughts, not really. how i wish time will pause here forever. not really now but maybe weeks ago? it would be great, really.

10/11: blah blah blah.

i always thought that one's belongings should be what the person likes. i guess time has moved on and mindsets have changed. now it also concerns the people around us, whether they are comfortable with seeing you and your things (maybe your watch). mindsets have changed, i have once again lost myself. i am starting to get used to being an adaptor-- everyone is comfortable with and am accomodating to every single one. perhaps i am trained to be one? perhaps i am not that strong mentally to withstand the advancement in life. well. what is more, since i have already lost the zhuang yi which i started out with.

11/11: SHAG.

math. hospital. econ. chem. OP practices. hospital. home.

bu wen bu wen. anyway, you are not obliged to.

12/11: happy birthday ms soh! =D

prayed to uncle aik at choa chu kang.
had lunch at grandparents' house.
fetched mum from the hospital.

what are holding me back? my guts are. course is. the dinner is. my emotions are. EXCUSES. you are the one who is holding me back, making me doubt myself, not doing what i should.

movie with hong yu and shawn, "my girlfriend is an agent", ang mo kio, 1520. it is super funny. totally worth the money spent. anyway, i never thought it was crap or nonsense.

who has changed?
who is changing? ):

results are going to be out on monday, 1500, in the hall. i wonder what is the big deal. since last year it is in the classroom, with our CTG and CT. maybe too many people are retained. hahaha!

07/11 - 08/11.

2009-11-09T00:00:00.004+08:00

07/11: steamboat dinner!

the moment i reached home, my mum called me from her room. she told me she has bought crabs for steamboat, BUT she is unsure if she bought three or four and she can only see three in the bag. what i concluded is that, she suspects an escape case. x=

after bathing, i walked out of the kitchen and i saw that escapee travelling across my living room. in a shock, i screamed. that may seemed impossible for me to scream, but i did. i shouted mummy, i found the crab! x= it is not everyday that you can see acrab crawling across your living room!

she woke up in a shock and we caught the crab after a bit of effort, like moving the sofa out. she killed the crabs instantly to prevent any more trouble. hahaha. dinner started at 7 when me and my mum decided not to wait for my sister and her boyfriend. and my second round started when they came back at 2130. =D

so full, so full. the screening of chucky 5 (seed of chucky) made me want to have a CHUCKY MARATHON. that day would most probably be on thu after coming back from grandparents' house, unless someone asks me out. ):

08/11: nua sunday!

i woke up earlier than usual today, at 1245, on my own. =D people who know me well, understand that this could be a miracle! usually, i do not wake up on my own on sunday and it would be way after 2pm, only if my mum wakes me.

lunch, online shows, grandparents' house, dinner, home and online shows!

i have just loaded ALL the shows onto the media player. now, i only need to be online, click onto the movie or show and i can watch them!

horror shows like CHUCKY, final destination, scream, scary movie, saw, friday the 13th, qian nv you hun, yin yang lu. these are the part one, part two and so on. for the individual ones, 13b, 609.

for non horror, spiderman, harry potter, hua pi, chi bi, jurassic park, ice age, qian nv you hun, gu ling jing tan 1 and 2. =D lots of entertainment huh.

one week has past. waiting for another week.
one week has passed. waiting for two more weeks. ):

02/11 - 06/11.

2009-11-06T16:45:00.002+08:00

02/11: happy birthday to wen yan.

i went to college at 1 pm for the presentation of the cuba project after the JC 1's mother tongue papers. i got a subway cookie treat from hong yu! hahaha. random. after that, i went home to rot, i think? hahaha.

03/11: happy birthday to clarice and lucas.

i had lunch with tracy and buddy at 18 chefs. whole SG 12 was celebrating clarice's birthday there too. after which, i returned to college to get my spectacles from hong yu. she then editted her speech in the computer room while i was playing sudoku. hahaha.

04/11: happy birthday to carla.
04/11 - 06/11: DVD and drama day. ):

25/10 - 01/11.

2009-11-02T00:00:00.002+08:00

25/10: family-ful day!

lunch at paternal side,
dinner at maternal side.

26/10: boring lessons. -,-

after those sickening lessons, i went to find hong yu. nothing much. we went to northpoint and i stared at her eating her snackers meal from KFC after buying my DS charger.

27/10: chemistry and PE.

chemistry was a waste of my time plus i wasted being angry with THAT idiot. seriously, why does he exist? -,- to make me angry? hahaha. that is the only reason for his existence i guess.

i think i am such a lousy floorball player and everyone in my team will be angry with me sia! hahaha. i shall not describe how lousy i am. x= oh yeah. hong yu was happily sitting near us, without fear of the ball hitting her, since she is entertained by my DS. hahaha.

tracy, hong yu and i then did stupid things. or rather, tracy started it and expected both of us to follow. hahaha. hong yu and i got into the mood and started to play finger game down the column of tables. =D

late lunch with shawn and them. super hungry that i went hysterical and joked that hong yu is cooking for me through cooking mama and plus my constant chanting of "terrific! even better than mama!". =D

28/10: neutralized day.

lift spoilt and i had to go to the other end of the building to take the other lift to travel down. x= in the end, i was late for math for 45 mintues. hahaha. i forgot that we are watching this show called numb3rs by AXN. coz i was late, i gave that person a chance to scold me and give me faces for not attending her lesson. -,-

jogathon duty was okay. i was stationed at the last with clarice, jane, joshua and stephanie. oh oh oh, not forgetting christopher's often appearance by our station. hahaha! in the end, he still maanged to harass our people. ):

dinner with jun yang and hong yu at the longhouse. chicken and rice plus drinks. she is of course still hooked on my DS. hahaha! while i was still finishing the food, she started playing liaosxx.

29/10: long long long day. XD.

after 2 hours of econ doing newspaper articles after the goddess left, absissa and i journeyed out of college to have our brunch. =D we met suria, nasyir and their friend on our way out. the new security guard stopped us saying that JC 1s cannot leave college. nasyir said we were year 2 but still she has to see our passes. all five of us took out our ez link cards and IC indicating that we are born in 1991. hahaha! and we managed to leave. =D

brunch at LJS. we tried their breakfast meals. not bad but just a bit very oily. x=

haeundai (hai3 yun2 tai2 in chinese) at ang mo kio hub. haeundae. the name was so 'mysterious' that i did not know what she was talking about. like is there such a car show like 'hyundai'. the pronounciation is so similar that she argued with me about it! not that i want to say this, but i have to say this. =D marvin and lay woon agreed with me that the name reminded that of only hyundai and not the show.

we were still contemplating for jennifer's body after haeundai to relieve her whatever for her july 14th's ice age 3 trauma. hahaha! but in the end, we walked around in ang mo kio central, saw chen han wei shooting some show and suki sushi for tea time. =D and we also lied to hong yu that we watched both haeundai and jennifer's body. =D

first shot of how much we ate.

second shot coz tracy said the first does not really exhibit the large amount that we ate. hahaha!

tracy emitting light sia!

a normal shot after i turned her 'light' off. hahaha.

30/10: i skipped school. =D second time in year 2009.

that is because the activities are too nonsensical and totally not worth my attendance! like PE and helping the teacher with the biodiesel project. i am so regretful to say that those days of me being helpful are already over! like four years of council is not enough. definitely not enough to get the appreciation of the school. just some lousy certificate and a SHORT write up on my SGC, forget it.

i met hong yu for lunch and she defined what is zha (fried in chinese) de, zha zha de and not zha de. like LJS is zha zha, KFC is zha and mac is not much of zha de. HAHAHA.

we went to walk walk in popular, looking at story books, recipe books, foolscap, notepads, almost toys and sweets. we then saw qiqi, theodora and two more of tracy's friends. home sweet home for us after that.

movie poker king at ang mo kio hub. =D

31/10: happy birthday to mum!

promotion tests in the morning and i think i do not feel like talking about it? x= lunch was carl's junior. i finished jasmine's burger and slightly more than half of mine coz we ate each other's burger without realizing it. x= not much of an issue on my side, but on her side. x=

i went home, saw that everyone was sleeping when the designated time to leave home was 1600 when i reached home at 1545. -,- well. i watched tv till 1645 then went to sleep. super tired coz i woke up very early at 6am!

dinner was GREAT food. =D and i feel so fat after eating so much for the day. carl's junior lunch and such a spread for dinner. x=

before the meal starts and all of us were hungry, bored, cold and restless.

sneak shot from my sister while i was watching the tv. once again, food was yet to be served. i was hungry, bored, cold, restless and also waiting for replies. x=

some pork thing.

steamed fish with not-so-spicy chilli.

lemon chicken with cereal.

tofu with some sauce.

vege with not-so-spicy sambal.

fried something with lots of ingredients inside.

last but not least, the crab with butter, cereals and some other mysterious sauce.

01/11: nua nua nua day.

i woke up at 10, 11, 1, 2, 215 and 3 finally. hahaha. typical sunday for me. home cooked lunch and dinner! lunch was hokkien mee and dinner was rice with chicken drumstick, vegetables and tofu soup. not forgetting desserts which is chocolate chip ice cream on cone! =D

i knew that i can never fulfil what i said to jasmine yesterday. starve for three days and three nights for the amount of food i ate yesterday, but maybe i can just start with lesser amount of food that i take in. XD.

ta men shuo, yi ri bu jian, ru ge san qiu.
i cannot imagine the dec holidays! ):

11/10 - 24/10.

2009-10-24T17:55:00.000+08:00

11/10: final preparation for PAPERS.

12/10: ECON.

13/10: preparation for CA 2. i must get A. x=

14/10: MATH.

15/10: duty.

i received a text in the morning saying that my 7th LP cannot come for my party. totally lost the mood to study. ):

got in the mood again then left for lunch.

chit chatted, napped and back to study.

jing called and we talked for very long.

i went to meet pei xin and buddy at northpoint to get my birthday presents! =D monkey "wallet" and "pouch".

on the phone with my 7th LP for 30 minutes, went back and did not study anymore coz i lost the momentum le.

16/10: CHEMISTRY.

lunch at 18 chefs with sally and shawn while spark went home. we added two sets of ingredients to our meals and we were so full. upon saying that she was full, sally offered to finish my ice-cream for me. hahaha. but she added she will have have chocolate ice-cream. hahaha.

cleaned up my house when i reached home. =D
dirty house, dirty table, dirty mind. q=

17/10 - 19/10: slack slack slack. XD.

19/10: happy birthday to pei xin! =D she commented me for my creativity of the birthday sms to her. hahaha. of course!

revision for my history and the big deal with my 7th LP. (:

20/10: final salvation for history and THE paper!

it was horrible as i forgot all my points for CMC. but i think i did fairly well for my collapse of communism question. hopefully i cat get at least a 5 for question one and a 20 for question two to garner a pass. x=

21/10: party. =D

from 1145 to 1645, i have been waiting. knowing that it could be fruitless, but still i cannot dismiss the possibility. x=

pleasant surprises at 1930 when they turned up! (:

now i wonder if i had wanted,
what would have happened. (:

22/10: house activity! go-kart and reggae dance.

dumb indemnity form not signed by my parents. seriously, they could cope with more and better planning right!

reggae dance was fun and funny.
the teacher was so sexy and likes to show off as usual. he made two 'jokes' which are facts.

"your college is so poor and cannot afford to hire me for more than one hour."

"i heard that your school ar, the curtain when torn, they use staplers to staple it, it is huh? hahaha."

during a break, he went to check out the curtains and asked the photographer to take a posing of him, posing with the curtains.

when we were dismissed, the useless PE teacher told the house Ex-Co to keep us back for the briefing tml. how can they get back students who are leaving. technically, physically and mentally impossible.

home to prepare for photo taking and watch "my sister's keeper" while waiting for time to pass. i saw clarice and told her where was jun yang. hahaha. he forgot about it and had to borrow the shirt from clarice.

movie outing after that! 500 days of Summer.

23/10: dragon boating at kallang!

teachers were late, played stupid games before we FINALLY split into groups to set off for what we wenbt there for.

paddles UP. =D

we then walked over to netball centre to bathe. after which, i sugessted taking photos! =D me and my wet messy hair, hong yu and her towel head plus tracy's failed towel head. hahaha!

i just told jing, that is probably the only part i like being in canberra. well. once in a lifetime huh. but still with a regret. ):

24/10: such a bad and another COOL dreams.

nothing much but my sister finally came back from india, back with the laptop and endless arguements about everything!

looking forward to every college day.
looking forward to seeing you. (:

09/10 - 10/10.

2009-10-10T15:00:00.003+08:00

09/10: happy birthday to me! (:

had fun "studying"! (:

0900: woke up.
0940: left house.
1000: haircut.
1100: get my medicine from the doctor's.
1200: boarded the train.
1230: reached toa payoh library.
1300: started work.
1330: lunch hour! =D
1515: back to studying.
1945: packing up.
20++: started dinner.
21++: playground and fitness corner.
2245: left for "home".
2315: hong yu's house!
0000: left for home. ):
0045: reached home.
0200: slept. (:

my cake with the melting ice-cream.

to think that i have always cared so much.
this time round i am giving you up, for sure.

10/10: .38 finals! =D

i forgot my keys but i remembered at the lobby.
i forgot my plasters and no one had. x=
so i shot, injured myself and underperformed.

but it was still:
149 for preliminary rounds
147 for first time (individual)
119 for the second (team)
i was already tired for the team shoot and do not really bother and do well. such bad attitude sia! mr chng gave me a birthday present! =D

belated wishes!
mas, mr chng, clarice, boss, roland.

happiness outweighs disappointment. (: (: (:

05/10 - 07/10.

2009-10-08T00:00:00.001+08:00

05/10: last two horrible hours.

i do not care about you like you CARE about us.
coz i know that you are not worth it.

time and time again, you have done this. time and time again, i have agreed. it is not worth to be your friend or even your acquaintance. talk about CBA, there is no benefit AT ALL.

06/10: surprises sprang on me.

i am a PMC student.
i volunteered to do a project on Cuba.
i am lazy.
i am inattentive in lessonS.
i deserve all YOUR scoldings.

yeah, i need the attention, but i hate it.

07/10: long day in college, lots of mugging time.

more accomplishments than usual, but still not enough. that is what i can do, but not what i can only do. really, i should just cut myself from this disdainful world.

whenever i put it on, i am seeing traces of the real me. should i keep it on all the times? or can i afford to lose myself forever?

08/10: study break day 1.

i look forward to myself performing! =D

right. you said i am lazy. it was only three questions! on top of that, i was sick for a whole week, full seven days. though i can still function, i still have other subjects. do not force me to dig out the fact that you made us have more hours of lessons on top of other h2s!

next, you said i am inattentive during lessonS. no doubt i was not listening to you on monday, that was only ONCE. you wrote lessonS. oh, i forgot that your ability of spoken english is so bad that always, "you made a mistakes." you have successfully transferred your inability to your written english. congratulations!

if you are so good, go back to malaysia, go back to VS. YJC does not need you! and stop digging your old past and tell us. we are not interested in stories, favouritism towards chan sik, sean, my CF or even ACCUSATIONS against seniors, samuel and SG19. i do not need them like i do not need you.

on the positive side, i am going to show you how a student who is lazy and inattentive during lessons would score an A for CA2. JUST YOU WAIT.

enough of the broken recording, some ANTs. x=

if you can use your way to remember things, why cannot i do the same? and you are also unable to substantiate your statement. why should i listen to you, even though i know that you MIGHT be correct.

that being your worse, could be what i am best in. but there is no guarantee that i am good in it. it is just that others are worse off, very much worse off.

i really am perplexed over how i should think and how i should feel. selfish? selfless? when to feel is to be against, it really hurts.

i never felt that i was normal. and thanks for telling me only after EIGHT months. i really need that now.

my mood is experiencing a roller coaster now.
this kind of pain to torture me now. that sucks.

one day. four days. twelve days. thirteen days.

02/10 - 03/10.

2009-10-04T00:00:00.001+08:00

02/10: back to college and felt better! (=

i hope this better is here forever. coz there were at least twice that i got false hopes. ): long day from 0910 to 1640. yawns. what can i expect huh. hahaha.

hope PSM gets well soon. hope she heeds our advices as well. x= a bit of sacrifice for the better of the future!

i did not stay for night study and went home. pig me cooked dinner (porridge with crab meat and hot dog), started my revision, realized i need a power nap, planned for 15 minutes and it turned out to be 2 hours. -,-

03/10: good morning at 1030.

i dreamt of me eating mac when i am still forbidden to eat such harmful stuff. i finished my fries and suddenly remembered i cannot eat such food and gave up my burger. next, his excellency came into the mac and sat beside me. seeing that i was smiling to the "Fated To Love You" commercial, he knew i watched that show and asked me about the ending or something.

i think i have gone mad.
or rather gone madDER.

lunch was at xiao hong's house-- porridge. but with more ingredients than usual! hot dog, meat floss, salted egg, fish cakes and others which i cannot eat-- cha siew, fried pork and wu xiang. she has not answered two questions of mine! i kept asking, she said she cannot hear or chose not to answer. =D

revision was CA 2.2 then i gave up to do CA 2.3 then gave up and floated past market structures. x= not much done today. ): coz i kept giving up. allah. how to do math when there are weird people around me?

firstly, there was a chinese guy (suspected by me to be tiong). he was reading a chinese novel, touching his nose every now and then-- doing suspicious movements, sliding his hand up his calf after touching his nose and vice versa, stretching every ten minutes or so.

SERIOUSLY.

secondly, there was a chinese middle-aged man. he was copying some things from a chinese book. his handwriting is nice sia! that was not the point. if not for the beginning when i see him copying in a serious mood and know that the library does not provide feng yue shu, i would have thought that he was reading one! smiling and um-chio to the book. -,-

HONESTLY.

that is a form of disturbance okay!
it is not the same as distraction. (:

anyway, my cousin just helped me with the china website that my uncle told us about it to view movies! cool. i just finished watching "The Final Destination". next will be after promo, HARRY POTTER! =D i am so slow in such trend.

HT: lectures 1-9: monday. others: depends.
CH: later part: tml. earlier part: after thursday.
MA: anytime when i feel like it.
EC: later part: tuesday. earlier part: after thursday.

04/10: happy birthday, wpm and dhanesh!

i need to fit myself into my timetable! like now!
i need to learn how to start BBQ fire! ASAP. =D
i need to finish planning for IT. before promo. (=

i am now left with 6 days to my birthday.
i am now left with ~eight days to papers!
i am now left with LOTS of revision to do.
CINPCCJPZY, way to go, you can do it. XD.

28/09 - 01/10.

2009-10-01T14:10:00.002+08:00

28/09: stomach flu still in me.

history test.
chemistry tutorial and lecture.
econ timed trial.
right hand felt lifeless after two 25 marks essay.

break was wasted without work done.
felt really not in state coz of stomach flu.
took early leave and missed math lesson.

went back to college to study after feeling somehow better. but still not much work was done, coz i guess i chose the wrong subject. math. -,-

29/09: NATIONAL POLICE CADET CORP.
officers' day and awards presentation ceremony.
50th anniversary celebration gala dinner.
launch of commemorative coffee table book.

i went to HTA after PC/CT.
my dinner was at table 21.
with: me, michelle, nicholas, zhiguang, jiamin, abdullah, florence, julitta and mark.

i think someone up there really wants me to leave NPCC alone until maybe at least promo is over. the moment i wanted to help to carry something, the glass cover of the display slide out and crashed onto the ground. well. i really am jinxed and cursed.

30/09: happy birthday jasmine! (:

felt really bad even during the first lesson.
rested in the library from 0920 t0 1030.
had one last tutorial from 1040 to 1140.
took early leave to home before noon. x=

this time round, i did not feel any better after reaching home like on monday. i kept sleeping and sleeping without much work done. ):

standing outside my house,
thinking of how foolish i am.
staring at the college gate,
looking at all the people.
waiting for something that does not happen,
waiting for someone who will never be mine.

01/10: happy children's day!

college declared it a holiday for us coz we have received some SAAs again. thanks to myself of course. these few days of revision have not been very productive. stomach flu's fault. plus i always procrastinate seeing the doctor. it is going to be one week soon. x=

I WANT TO EAT NICE NICE FOOD. ):
NOT UNTIL THE FLU IS GONE.
BACK TO CHEMISTRY. ):

i used to cry myself dry,
but it is of no use.
and i know. ):

i am now left with 8 days to my birthday.
i am now left with ~TEN days to papers!
i am now left with TONS of revision to do.

22/09 - 27/09.

2009-09-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

22/09: two more hours free! =D

my FFF tried to infect me with the GG virus. i think my immunity towards this kind of things is quite high. hahaha. therefore, i survived it. (=

they sat away from me, for some reasons which i forgot. maybe due to me asking FFF to move coz of the shaky table. -,- we got back CF 2 test and i scored an A (FINALLY). and the suan-ings came along from FFF, who already have THREE A, when i only have 1, finally. -,-

i asked for break leh! =D so proud. LOL.

xiao hong passed me her script with 41 marks and she asked me to find her two more marks. i wondered why then i counted her marks and realized it is supposed to be 31, therefore needing two marks to get C. in the end, i managed to find.

23/09: another two hours free! =D

nothing much for college.

i went to town with jing after the delayed birthday celebration for kang en (not around), crystal (late), sophie (late) and siang wei (late).

abigial said it is for 6 people, then i counted with her and said there are only 4 september people. she directed me to fiona and she was stunned when i asked her who are the two extra people. i therefore concluded that it includes dharnesh and me! i told FFF that and she said no one is celebrating it for me. so in the end, i guess there should be another for dharnesh and me, coz no one sang for us! hahaha.

she bought many things! interesting erasers (which i thought they were paper weights), chocolates, pencil case (which she asked me to buy it as well and i did not) and food. i bought snacks from muji for the thursday-bore (two hours of math). we then went to soup spoon which turned out to be my dinner. x= and then home.

24/09: earlier than usual.

after math, manfred told me that tml is the final submission for WR. i was thinking "like it is my concern" until he told me to ask mrs kwang to release us earlier, then it became my concern. i asked auntie clara to help to say coz it is none of my business that WR submission is tml. hahaha.

we went to book seats for lecture before going to the library to do work. as usual, lecture was in a mess. hahaha. kiasu people rushing in and kiasi people rushing out. explanation: last row during the lecture will be called to answer questions while last group of people to leave the lecture theatre will have to be the last row for the next lecture.

ms aminah was in a joking mood but till the end, she flared.

she was asking what are public goods. some said street lights so she asked why and why are torch lights not considered. no one answered, i guessed they are afraid of saying the wrong things and get scolded. but after about 3 seconds, FFF and i mumbled at the same time, "coz torch lights need batteries." we and xiao hong sniggered under our breath in fear that we will be called down for thinking that the lecture is funny (it occurs frequently).

she was giving examples of government intervention of external benefits. she gave an example about her beautiful flowers which she will talk to before she leaves her house and after she reached home. saying that her neighbour who is so stressed after work, he will cheer up after seeing her beautiful flowers being an external benefit. so should government give her money to grow more flowers in order for the external benefits to be consumed at the SOOL?

she was giving another example of government intervention of external benefits-- cosmetic surgery. she asked us to tell her a kind of cosmetic surgery so i said botox. i think she looked at me and said, "okay botox. so you think i need botox?" in her usual um-chio manner. hahaha. i kept shaking my head and said no, of course.

so the example goes like this: after having botox, the people will look better and others who look at them will feel happier (EB) coz they are better-looking now. so would government give money for people to do cosmetic surgeries in order for the external benefits to be consumed at the SOOL?

just for laughters, if you can get it.

25/09: i was tired, felt uneasy, fell sick.

history: normal. disturbing wy and clarice.
math: felt nauseous. x= i even prepared, thought of and rehearsed what i will do if i vomit. such as throwing everything in my hands aside (except the plastic bag), opening the folded plastic bag in my hand (of course i will NOT keep it in my bag. it will be ages after i have vomitted when i finally take it out) and lastly do what i was supposed to. HAHAHA.

nothing much during break. (= glad enough.
econ was lifeless and distracted. x=
break: i was so tired and restless.
PE: tired and chatty. hahaha. totally sat aside for PE, not coz i was sick but i just did not join. but the teachers did not ask as well. HAHAHA.

chemistry: E M O T I M E .

ice-cream after that with sally and spark.
home to sleep and sleep and sleep.

26/09: study at thomson plaza.

i went to study with char and jing at thomson plaza. afterwhich, char's friends joined us. nothing much was accomplished by me (oh great!). at exactly 1730, i felt extreme and sudden chills until i ended up into severe shivering fits. x=

i cabbed home and slept from 1900 to 2030, ate dinner, watched tv and wanted to sleep at 2230 when i realized there is wang jing's show. i watched that and slept from 0130 to 1400. a total of 14 hours of rest.

27/09: now. so sick. so slack.

i am going to do my work now.
math tutorials due tml and wed.
history test on end of CW at 0910.

i must recover by tonight! or at least feel better by tonight. or at least at least no disturbance caused by my illness from 0910 to 1010. x=

reminders!

> 27/09/09: less than TWO weeks' time!
- 12/10/09, 0800H: promo papers START!
- 20/10/09, 1000H: FREE FROM PAPERS!

- 18/09: general paper.
- 12/10: economics!
- 14/10: mathematics!
- 16/10: chemistry!
- 20/10: history!

>>> ultra needed reminders!

send watch for repairs
buy medicine
buy spectacles hooks
shop for friendS' birthday giftS
get birthday giftS for myself! (:
carry on MUGGING for papers!
stop slackening!
some seniors' outing. -,-
collect fantastic results for promo! (:

16/09 - 21/09.

2009-09-21T22:00:00.005+08:00

16/09: testS.

economics test was a bit off.
math test was rather easy sia!
but the previous easy was only a B.
i hope this easy will be an A! =D

17/09: i almost died. hahaha.

max tried to kill me with his and li min's tutorials. i asked li min if she has handed in hers, she said nope and max seconded that response. i told them to throw then i said drop your tutorials down then i will pass them onto her table. apparently, max's drop is to aim those tutorials at me and expect me to catch. -,-

crystal felt unwell and she left for home during geography tutorial. x= i hope she is okay and does not catch the stomach flu from vince (somehow).

easy dismissal for math when she said she is giving us more time to study for our GP the next day. omg. x= it is just tml.

i went out and stayed in the library with jing till char came along. we left with heng wei and on the way, we saw suria. he is so sickeningly funny! dinner with heng wei, char and sam. we then resumed studying at 1930 then i officially stopped one hour later. super productive. -,-

18/09: GP promotional examination.

i was almost late for paper. x= like last year. hahaha. i stayed overnight at LXLJ's house to help her last year the day before paper, but the paper was in the afternoon, so it was not so bad when i reached home at 0830 and napped till 12. this year, i had to iron my uniform in the morning and thinking of what to bring. x=

paper one was okay. the question that i attempted was the one which i saw jing trying to comprehend her handwriting for her copied outline and the one i read the night before, with similar contents. it was RJC's prelim question for 2002. hahaha! so long ago huh. "'The Computer and Internet, while being useful, can never replace the classroom and the teacher.' Discuss." the question that i attempted was, "'Teachers are irrelevant in the age of technology.' Discuss."

very similar in contents. anyway, i think my essay is better written. hahaha! there MIGHT be some changes in the expectations from cambridge in 2002 and 2010. so i should not TRY to compare huh. XD.

i lunched with andrea, dawn and FFF.
a is for andrea, b is for boy, c is for coconut, d is for dawn! creation of this song was by tracy and continuation was by me! after that, i went shopping with FFF before going home then training. my objective of going down was not achieved. x=

how could i have felt that way? x=

19/09: saturday rotting day!

it seemed really pointless to get it fixed when no one contacts me. that really really really sucks and i really really really hate it.

i woke up after 12, nearing 13 hours of sleep. i guessed i have replenished the sleep that i lost since tuesday night. i tried to start work but tv postponed it till i have to leave to get to my grandparents' house. x= we tried to drag my grandmum along, but we failed. ):

dinner at a restaurant in bedok. it was like a posh restaurant but in the HDB estate area. price was like a posh restaurant's though.

PICTURES.
i was the not-so-professional stand-in photographer of the day coz my sister did not go.

the signboard.

supposedly appetizer here. but i forgot to take.

some yu biao thing. similar to sharks' fins.

supposedly a fish here. but i was too busy eating. LOL.

chicken. if you fail to recognize it (somehow).

a bit of the chicken from my share.

some vegetarian food. x=

this is super nice. coffee chicken. yummy!

steamed prawns.

supposedly fried rice. but not interested to take. LOL.

desserts. longans and jelly and "water babies". LOL.

20/09: selamat hari raya!

i stayed at home, did a bit of work and crying from 1am to 2am then went to lalaland. parents' air-conditioned room. apparently my air-con is still down. x=

21/09: out with michelle! (:

second-lunched at ajisen.
walked from mall to one.
met my and her friends.
bought bottle and ring.
but not really what i saw and wanted. ):

fiona talked to me about the dumb birthday celebration. -,- she reminded me that it is monday's timetable tml. long long day, BUT NVM. not that i have turned optimistic or whatsoever, but i will get THREE hours of break from tml onwards for monday!

no more PW,
no more GP,
no more sit-ins to listen to PW,
more more more more breaks! =D

reminders!

> 21/09/09: less than THREE more weeks!
- 12/10/09: papers START!
> 20/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

- 18/09: general paper.
- 12/10: economics!
- 14/10: mathematics!
- 16/10: chemistry!
- 20/10: history!

>>> ultra needed reminders!

send watch for repairs
buy medicine
buy spectacles hooks
shop for friendS' birthday giftS
get birthday giftS for myself! (:
carry on MUGGING for papers!
stop slackening!
collect fantastic results for promo! (:

15/09.

2009-09-16T00:00:00.003+08:00

i am very ready to make a mega short post.
or maybe a long post in a mega short time.

i was super pissed before PE actually started. great.
i started my day without realizing that the nation anthem and pledge was played and taken. first.
i knew that our noticeboard has to be done. x= second.
teachers were being anxious to send us off to our respective venues. in the process, they started to shout at us. third.

tchouk ball! i think we did not regret it. (=
except i was being a joker, i ran and fell.
not that i tripped myself (so cui), but fell.
saying that i tripped myself, is an insult to my already ___ intelligence.

this is the knee.

this is my left shoulder.

i am telling all of you coz i feel that i have to establish a point that i may be smart in taking self-taken pictures, but it is definitely not easy to take self-taken pictures of one's joints. i have tried, maybe it is my limbs' fault for looking so hideous, but just get the point that the first photo is my left knee and the second, my left shoulder.

i ran towards the ball to prevent the other team from scoring. i think friction has also met its maximum when i tried to run and drag myself to the other half-court. suddenly i cannot slide anymore, i jerked forward and fell flat. due to the overwhelming momentum that i had, i bua-ed the floor of the tennis court. -,- if you do not know what is bua, another way to phrase that sentence would be, i slid on the floor of the tennis court.

before i fell, i saw that the person of another team MISSING the goal, meaning i did not fall for a good cause. it must have looked like i dived for the ball, which has yet to come. -,- anyway, my FFF was kind to tell me that she was bewildered by the fact that a lot of people was crowding a person, that person is me and i am on the floor.

i landed with my knees first, my hands, my left shoulder and my head. i had the tendency (then) to land on my left. therefore, only the left sides of my head, shoulder and knee are injured. hands are not maybe due to the fact that pegs have made my skin thick enough to suffer the blow. x=

i landed as super"man".
flat on the ground.
hands and legs stretched out.

just like how superman flies.

xiao hong and FFF admitted to their crimes during lunch today. xiao hong to her crime of playful theft and FFF to her crime of zhi qing bu bao. -,-

thanks for the attention and concern everyone.
i enjoyed and did not like the attention.
as for concern, really thankful i have such good friends.

side-tracking, i am SO going to get my phone back tml.

ending the post with a CUTE photo of my nephew.
i forgot his name! give me time okay. x=
and he was the one who struggled when i wanted to bring him back to the house for desserts. x= tough time handling a child who LOVES to take the stairs. hahaha! must remind my cousin to bring them to climb the stairs more often.

the bib writes, I'm a little monster.

i never denied i was an attention-seeker.
i thought you already knew, 20 months and 4 days.
but whose attention do i want and do i not want?
it was a sad song reminding me of the past.
but i still listened to it, crying over the past.
damn me. really.

12/09 - 14/09.

2009-09-14T21:00:00.005+08:00

12/09: HSA and meeting.

i am so tempted to donate my plasma next! (:
and our date to donate blood on 2nd dec!

13/09: last day to college reopening!

meeting in the morning at mac.
exploring northpoint after that.
home to watch tv, lunch and a nap.
took the stairs with my niece and nephew.
so cute! and i was so tired after that. x=
home to finish some work and online.

EMO-ed FOR QUITE A WHILE.

i do drastic things when i am upset! ):

14/09: sluggish morning. x=

GP: decorating noticeboards.
HT: debate was okay, but sweets were great! hahaha.

CH: i displayed my mentos and ritter sport chocolates on my table, LSK asked if they were mine i said yeah. the next moment, i saw one mentos gone. as in one "tube" of the mini mentos was gone! at the end of the lesson, i saw it back there, with the others, but someone has eaten one! i asked xiao hong and FFF if they have seen it and if they were the ones who took them. they said they did not. this cycle of asking and answering was not for once or twice. in the end, i concluded that it could be stolen by LSK. hahaha!

CH: ultra sickeningly boring. -,-
EC: okay okay okay, except that i ignored xiao hong and went to lalaland. ms wong had to wake me up thrice. x=
GP: erm. okay.
MA: erm, nothing much.

we then went to the library to do our econ market failure project. we realized that it was so slow and decided to come to my house instead. hahaha. why didn't WE think of that initially? introduction of my closet was done by FFF. i wonder how she amazingly described it to be seemingly attacked by a tornado and that made xiao hong and yin mei super excited to see it like immediately they entered my house. x=

some amazing pictures taken with my FAST (zoom zoom!) web camera named, Crystal Eye. =D

testing, 1, 2.

testing, testing, 1, 2, 1, 2.

4th photo! still decent. hahaha.

25th photo. starting to get tired after being high.

finally, we wrapped everything up at 1930, having taken 56 final photos! i think we took a total of 60 but we deleted some super unglamorous ones. XD.

reminders!

> 14/09/09: FOUR more weeks!
- 12/10/09: papers START!
> 20/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

- 18/09: general paper.
- 12/10: economics!
- 14/10: mathematics!
- 16/10: chemistry!
- 20/10: history!

>>> ultra needed reminders!

send watch for repairs
buy medicine
buy spectacles hooks
collect phone from repairs
GP papers start and end! =D
shop for friends' birthday gifts
get birthday giftS for myself! (:
carry on MUGGING for papers!
stop slackening!
collect fantastic results for papers! (:

09/09 - 11/09.

2009-09-12T01:00:00.000+08:00

09/09: happy birthday to choppie!

i realized she has many names by the inventions of her friends, one of them is me! i heard sohie and others which i forgot. but mine is the most special and i forgot how i got her this-- CHOPPIE. =D

she is such a great person (and blur of course) and ever so last minute! she only booked her BBQ pit at ECP on the morning itself, bought all the food items in the afternoon and reached later than her deyi band friends! gosh. that is so CHOPPIE-like. XD.

as usual, after each BBQ, i will wash my hair twice, apply hair-conditioner, bathe twice, scrub my legs, toes and slippers. i just cannot stand the BBQ smell lingering. x=

10/09: slack slack slack.

due to the late timing i slept last night, i woke up at 8 or 9 plus (i cannot remember), went back to sleep, woke up at 11, went back to sleep and finally reluctantly woke up at 2. x= i did nothing and wasted time all the way until 1730 when i decided to accomplish the task of sending my phone for repairs. (=

i saw them at junction 8's mac, joined them and found out that hannah also sent her phone for repairs. her phone took a million years to be ready. hahaha. her excessive number of smses and items to be transferred. the staff (fatimah, who was from YJC) helped me to settle mine while we waited for hannah's phone to be done.

after that we returned to MOS. i wanted to get a burger before accompanying char and we waited very long for it. x= she was so sickeningly rude to the MOS guy while i was ordering la. hahaha. she kept huh-ing the guy. -,- i could tell that he was irritated by her and his attitude towards us are so different!

we sat outside for an hour plus, went back in and she left. i left at about 10, leaving lay woon and hannah still studying. (=

11/09: study at lay woon's bishan loft.

we studied beside the swimming pool, were amused by the cute children, were laughing at the irritating about-to-be teenagers and entertained by the cool group of people (which are us!). =D

he asked me out ot the IT fair! but i was supposed to go studying with them, so i did not go. ): he said wen jie mentioned about me therefore him asking me. woah. now i realized how long since i have last talked to or about wen jie. x=

zhi you you xin ren hui ji de -- 091091.
not once or twice that someone forgets.

02/09 - 08/09.

2009-09-08T01:00:00.004+08:00

02/09: back to college. x=

time flies and work are still not done.

03/09: dental appointment.

i already forgot how i feel when i am waiting for my dental appointments. hmm. i cannot remember the last time i visit a dentist. hahaha! as in those who are not in those travelling dental vans. was it last year eoy?

the day to extract my wisdom tEEth is nearing!

04/09: very interesting PE session.

i finally caught a movie with xiao hong and her other parts. XD. so i watched UP with sally, shawn and spark at bishan's GV.

05/09: CSI competition.

though jon's proposed drill competition did not happen, they have changed it to a CSI competition which received great response. much appreciation to all for the participation and help. (=

they said, at least he offered. damn! do i care? what is the point of offering when it was not meant for me. damn it. damn the fact. damn me.

you told me once that i was appreciated. yeah, "was". not now or in the future. i do not fancy all those big thank you and rewards. just a simple gesture, i do not even need the word "thanks". everything is over now. i am over with it.

i have no rights to say goodbye, coz i am not willing and able to let go. damn the fact that i keep getting stuck. damn my decision to stay or to leave. damn myself for being so selfish and selfless.

back to june 2007, back to feb 2008, back to september 2009.

06/09: paternal grandfather's birthday celebration. (=

i am not inferior. i am not scared. i just cannot blend in that well.
do not ask me why, coz i do not have answers.

07/09: non-productive mugging. ):

1040: went to college.
11++: started "work".
1230: lunch.
1330: resumed work.
1400: distracted and holland everywhere except my table and back to my work. ):
1600: stuck my butt back to the chair.
1830: started to pack up.

4.5 hours without factoring in breaks! shyt.
is this what a person facing second promo should do?

08/09: addicted. that is so me.

i just saw a cockroach flying into my sister's piles of books, papers, files and things. finally the relative of the xiao qiang i killed at LXLJ's house has finally tracked me down after a day. x=

thanks for giving those false hopes.
i guess it is not yours, but my fault.
i am the one imagining everything.
sorry to include you in my dreams.

reminders!
> 09/09/09: LAST intensive months.
> 20/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

- 18/09: general paper.
- 12/10: economics!
- 14/10: mathematics!
- 16/10: chemistry!
- 20/10: history!

>>> ultra needed reminders!

buy post-it notes!
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contact cleo

28/08 - 02/09.

2009-09-02T19:00:00.000+08:00

28/08: refreshing SPA SPA SPA.

two answers surfaced. fine. mine was not logical though i was comforted by the fact that the chemistry PRO has the same answers as me. hahaha.

dinner at northpoint newly opened mayim.

29/08: .38 prelim and ROD.

.38 prelim round was okay. i thought we will be shooting after the duty but it seemed that we shot when there was no crowd. x= totally unprepared plus i cannot get the first and second pressure. oh man. -,-

149/200 was my result this year,
126/200 was my result last year,
163/200 was my result during d07.

at 4pm, me and mas took mr soh's car back to yishun (by then, my phone was already more than the usual malfunction). i went home, bathed, felt lazy to go out again, got dressed and went out.

what invited me was the task to light up the pressure lamp. huh? when we have not touched that, let alone say maintain it, it is nearly impossible to do so. in the end, no miracle happened.

ROD started with my junior, zhe liang singing on the stage in a rock band. my gosh. dinner then the campfire. it was totally not like one. -,- the 21st batch of NCOs and jinglin then went to the carpark to play with the sparklers. LOL.

e18ghteen chefs was our dinner venue for an hour before we left. another outing is coming up! like after everyone's A levels. (=

jia hui's and zheng's dinner.

i must have spent the whole night planning how i would spend the short break. hahaha. therefore i slept till 2pm or 3pm the next day.

30/08: one lazy sunday again.

31/08: TDC.

this year's celebration is different. i regretted staying? LOL. (better not let FFF see this, if not she will start again). manfred and yee kiat had a great escape plan-- that is to, EH confidential la. but i did not follow them, thus tracy too. x=

twelve teachers had to share with us what does teacher's day means to them. i think the selection is based on departments: PE, MT, CH, PH, ELL, MA and others which my slow brain is lazy to function for me to list them out.

01/09: movie date!

who: xiao-xing. (:
what: orphan.
when: 1st sep 2009, 1500
(i was late for 30 min. x=)
where: bugis (junction and iluma)
why: just go out lor. (:

02/09: decelerating at an increasing rate! x=

24/08 - 28/08.

2009-08-27T23:00:00.003+08:00

24/08: i slept till 3pm despite sleeping early.

i finally had crabs after SO long. x= yummy!
i went to paternal grandparents' house.
i had my dinner at amk s11 and saw josephine sir!
he smsed me and i was like, who and where? hahaha. coz i lost almost all contacts and for a moment, i THOUGHT i was stalked. hahaha! joke.

25/08: not blue but...

aiya i have no idea. well. what i have to say is that, i have stayed for night study sessions for this week only till wed.

econ diagram for case study!

26/08: the more i look at myself, the more i think i am a joke, the more i feel that the joke is not funny.

decreasing rate of:
- popularity
- attractiveness
- amazement

27/08: what a joke he and they are.

it has all been a confusion. i am now wondering if i have been too attached to them and want to have things my way OR is it that the "request" was too much for me to accept. one thing for sure! i just cannot understand the rationale and i guess i will not try to understand your brand of it. =D

born a procastinator,
i shall not die as one!

there is a new phrase between us: 真的.

my joke on her was mean.
or was the joke on me? x=

28/08: "dental appointment".

i went home, brushed my teeth, woke my sister and she told me that she has repeatedly told me that dental was next week. fine. -,- i am glad that i went home! hahaha. in the end, i went to NTUC, got sweets, to my doctor, got medicine and returned to college for lessons.

on my speedy way back, i was enjoying the super cool breeze that reminded me of the past. long time since i had enjoyed such breeze. (: i was walking in an amazing speed which made me appreciate the breeze MORE! as i was on the running path beside my block, i saw two familiar german guys walking towards maybe the MRT station?

fyi, there was a group of german students who came to my college for an exchange program. many girls went gaga over the guys, well they are quite good-looking but then as usual, i did not go bonkers. hahaha.

the two guys were the ones whom my FFF was constantly buzzing about! i was considering between calling her or asking to take a photo! in the end, i did what i thought was more logical.

to jog to them, ask them to take a photo with me, to spite FFF! =D another thing to note is, SERIOUSLY IGNORE MY HAIR. there was a cool breeze, remember? and you can see that for one and another photo, the hair was good and bad. LOL.

i suddenly had a lot of people initiating msn conversations with me sia! buddy, yee tat, mas, jasmine and michelle! actually there were more but i forgot.

buddy: about his girlfriend.
yee tat: about a 'famous' blog.
mas: about shooting.
jasmine: about people's units and asking me to go and study and mug non-stop.
michelle: about shooting and telling me that my birthday is on 10th oct. ):
- i am not that BLACK btw.

my stomach is grumbling now! i will proceed to lalaland now and dream about eating ginger buns! hahaha.

29/08: chemistry SPA. all the best to me! (:

22/08 - 23/08.

2009-08-23T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to roland! (=

22/08: woke up at 12 after xiao hong called.

yeah she woke me up from my fantastic sleep.
nope she did not wake me for being almost late.

i went to SMU to study with hannah, char, jing and jing's friend, kim. we did not managed to find seats at the basement so we settled less for the non-air-conditioned level one and it was quite stinky coz we were beside the food places. x=

i did math for about 5 hours, with pek chek breaks and food breaks in between. after that i fished out my econ case study, did a question or two then officially called it time-out when we packed up and left for dinner. super unproductive!

why is it that my weak determination is so easily wavered by passing remarks, mere suggestions and basically what i see? the day before, i was telling myself, i will try. but just a few hours ago, i decided that i will give up soon.

freak show life.
conservative idiot.
should i ever give up?

18/08 - 21/08.

2009-08-22T00:34:00.001+08:00

18/08: MA supervised. GP supervised.

it is like we get supervised every now and then huh. before the june break, we got at least 4 times? just for GP alone is 3 times? numerous. too free, too free.

19/08: ms aminah is back!

she is back for our EC. oh gosh. i finally see the light after crawling (baby style, nua style and commando style) through the tunnel for at least 3 weeks. one week before the CA test till two days before the next test. which means i have skipped about 2 weeks worth of EC? oops!

20/08: vegetarian day!

first day of the month, first day of the seventh month, i have decided to go vegetarian on all 1st and 15th of the month. =D part of the reason is also for diet. LOL.

super restless for the whole day. i told jia min and rui ling that i am like that coz of not eating any meat for the whole day. gosh. i wonder what is the real reason. hmm.

SS2 module test!
so easy compared to SS1.
almost all came from tutorials.
hopefully i can clinch an A home! =D

21/08: EC supervised.

i was supposed to go for movie with buddy on tue after lessons but postponed to today coz i needed time to study for SS2. when i checked the timing today on yahoo, it said hub's UP is at 5pm and 7pm. he decided to watch 7pm's coz i had no time to rush down from college to hub. after dinner at MOS, we went up to get our tickets.

oh man. to think that we found out the timing is actually 6pm and we had dinner till 6.30pm! oh man. how can i dua him?! well. i am also the victim. dua-ed by yahoo movies timing.

after that, i went home to get my stuff and back to college for self study in home clothes. LOL. char and i had to see mdm koh and some visitors at the library when both of us are in the wrong attires (she in shorts, me firstly in home clothes, secondly shorts and thirdly slippers). the teacher was staring at me and hannah when we stepped into the library with the wrong attires. x=

previous weekly phrase is not continued.
lazy to think for the next. hahaha.

i am going to study, i am going to mug.
i am going for night study sessions! =D

reminders!
7 more weeks to go for PROMO!
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

15/08 - 17/08.

2009-08-17T22:00:00.001+08:00

15/08: sat sat sat.

i had an event management workshop for the NE ambassadors. it was only on friday itself that i know that i am an NE ambassador and not wellness. -,- but i know no one from NE, maybe not no one, but an insignificantly small number!

i went home, nua-ed, bathed and went out.

1800 at bugis mrt station with the kids. =D they were talking rubbish, behaving in such a horrible manner and talking super loudly, but still, i was beside them. hahaha. we left the station at 1830 after raymond came.

we reached the venue, placed our orders and waited. the others joined us and we started at about 1900. i started my proper meal only at 2030 when i was starving. before my proper meal, i was eating my bei lei (shell type food) and some thin slices of meat. x=

before 2030, jennifer and karen that two small kids already declared themselves full before i started on my proper meal! after that, i chiong-ed for plates and plates, bowls and bowls of food like mee sua, the fei lei (starchy type food), fish and vegetables. i think my table is the only one with vegetables. coz of who? the health conscious ones. LOL.

i estimated i ate about 6 plates of food. =D jennifer saw me then shook her head when i was having my fourth plate and when she heard me that i was not even half full. x= as for karen, she was eavesdropping on me and the others while she was being full beside me. she dropped two chopsticks shortly after we began eating. -,-

we took a photo and we left the shop. after that, jasmine dug out a card from them from her bag and it is with jiamin now. i have not seen it yet! nvm. she will pass to boss, boss will pass to jasmine and see how i will manage to see it. x=

16/08: AVD duty at indo embassy.

they were having their national day! well. i was warned that they had 50 odd casualties last year, all were wet and limp (coz most and fainting cases, if not the feet would be injured coz of stampede). but we only had 2 today! =D one accidentally smelled another's arm pit and fainted and another was too hungry.

from this duty, i knew d11's figurehead. why do all leaders i know are figureheads? sickening kind of arrangement when singapore claims to be democratic. arrows flew all over and gun shots too. four out of six posts were filled up by those who appeared today (initially five).

PDO- edwin, log- me, community something- diana, admin- samantha (initially fundraising- hui qun). well. all of us need to have an assistant but edwin and i only have a choice! we will see how la huh. x=

full, tired and loaded with work, i went to my room, pulled out my iSqueeze and brought it to the living room. after 8 hours of duty, standing and walking, time for some massage! totally ease off my pain and weariness (maybe coz i was numb) after the fifteen-minute session. i staggered myself back to my room and with a thump, i floated to lalaland with my work on my shoulders.

ni cen shuo guo, dang wo zei zhuo ni he ta shi, we duo hui biao xian de wo shuo de hen shuang. na shi duo me de yuan wang ar! ni you bu jian de kan dao wo fei chang bu shuang dao lian dou bian hei de shi hou. li you we ye bu yuan yi zhi dao...

of course i woke up later than my desired timing to finish my work. i am such an dishonourable idiot. -,- saddening.

17/08: lessons resume!

AQ was whatever.
history was cold.
chemistry was talking a lot.
chemistry was laughing a lot.
econ was lalaland time. x=
break was storytelling.
GP was getting work.
math was zoom and entertaining.

i have such weak determination that i can just go home and sleep. -,- when i was at my peak period of concentration, my decision wavered and went back with ye qin, abigial and shan wen. weak weak weak. weak determination, weak soul, weak mind.

tml will be a better day! (suddenly being so optimistic when all along i am so emo. LOL)

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

looking dearly towards end of promo.
looking dearly towards year two.
looking dearing towards end of A's.
looking dearing towards money earning. =D
(what about NS? hahaha!)

11/08- 14/08.

2009-08-14T21:00:00.001+08:00

11/08: back to college. yawns!

deduction of FIVE marks for my tutorial. greatness. in this way, how can i pass my DW. -,- probably get a C for math coz of DW.

12/08: brain exercise! thoughtful. -,-

what did i tell myself about being kind? what did i tell myself about being helpful? obviously this is so chi li bu tao hao!

i had some ADVANCED first aid course by an external agency. firstly, it was not advanced. i did what i have learnt in SFA, except learning how to use the scoop. secondly, i am not really in favour of the external agency's paramedic. other than being touchy to us (females AND males), we laughed a bit here, a bit there and learnt less than what i could have in that three hours.

but still, i have to be polite huh. -,- thanks for coming. hope i will not see you again! *weak smile*

something about being kinky too. why am i degrading myself? or rather what is the point about being with friends like that? zi zuo nie, bu ke huo. huo gai.

13/08: emo-ed more than usual.

what i do not like about mondays are actually not the point about needing to return to college after the weekends, but actually the timetable. i only have ONE hour of break when the day is from 0810 to 1710. twelve hours in college, ten hours of lessons, one hour of break plus another hour of being in college in the midst of coming and going off.

what i have done to deserve all these? such a weakling i have become. probably will just shatter into pieces within a touch. useless.

i had fun getting myself angry and had fun shooting a person in sms today during math tutorial. anyway, such things like poor concepts. x=

14/08: TGIF. welcome my busy weekends.

history lecture was like that.
math was sleepy and attentive.
econ reflection was great,
econ tutorial was being soft-spoken,
econ venue was stinky.
PE was appearing to catch balls,
PE was laughing out loud,
PE was screaming and shouting.
mock SPA was hilarious and a joke.

THE weekly phrase: touchy!
probably continue next week.

all the plans. what for. when only MY plans will be cancelled.
movies (so near yet so far):
harry potter and the order of phoenix
harry potter and the half blood prince
orphan
moodless TOTALLY.

wait for others to date me? yeah, carry on waiting for miracles to happen, carry on with your hands stretched out for things to fall, carry on with your hopes being smashed like a water bomb would drop from a hundred-storey building.

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

i wished i could just throw everything off my shoulders.
if i could, i WILL.
all those responsibilities.
all those useless thoughts.
all those insignificant people whom i once called them friends.
such a foreign word which i wished i never knew.

04/08 - 10/08.

2009-08-10T17:00:00.000+08:00

04/08: smelly day.

we had our first inter-SG game (soft ball). nothing much interesting. except me and xiao hong renacted what happened on monday. the conversation over lunch.

05/08: boredom day.

i woke up this morning to find out that my eldest uncle has passed on. he was supposed to return home today.

i spent a good hour in the library. i forgot what i was doing but it had to be something not that productive. since i still have so much work left to clear now (as i am typing this post)!

06/08: agony day.

i had the last NDP training after lessons which still, not everything is confirmed. that is something bad and definitely worse things will happen.

i went to my grandparents' house after dinner and went home late with my sister at 11 plus coz she has work and i had lessons the next day.

07/08: NDP @ YJC.

indeed, things happened. hopefully those were not too obvious to the college. -,- pointing fingers at others do not exactly help so, let us not bother.

lunched with sally, spark and shawn at northpoint mac.

reached home, bathed and slept till 6 when i woke up, quarrelling with my sister. we then went to grandparents' house together.

dinner, prayings for my uncle and supper.

08/08 - 09/08:
my sister went home with dad when he drove to my grandparents' house. i stayed there with my mum and staying with my eldest uncle till 5am, which i fell asleep. x= i went up to sleep on my youngest uncle's bed till 1pm. x= woke up for lunch then watched my granduncles and grandaunts playing mahjong. me and my cousins also opened a table when we started playing.

dinner, prayings and burning the things we bought for my uncle.

the younger ones tried to keep awake by playing mahjong. in the end, my sister and i asked my cousin to sleep at 2. we played till 0445 and slept. when i woke up, it is only me, my grandma and my mother in the house at 9. we went down and started to clear things. at 1030, the band came and we listened to them playing till 1130 when the last round of rituals started.

lunch till 3 when we went up to clear all the remaining things. i went home at 5 in my father's car and slept from 7 onwards = i missed the NDP live 2009.

10/08: i slept for 19 hours from 7 to 1.

slackening till 5 which i started to clear all my tutorials.
no more time to lose, no more breaks for me to take.

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

movies (so near yet so far):
harry potter and the order of phoenix
harry potter and the half blood prince
orphan

03/08.

2009-08-03T22:00:00.003+08:00

happy birthday xiao-xing! (:

i woke up at 0630 feeling slightly cooler than yesterday night. lessons were as usual.

for GP, we did the standard articles in the morning and Singapore's education system in the afternoon.

for CH: last question for block test review and going through tutorial during lecture. a lot of people left coz they did not finish. it is either they are brimming with integrity or they just want to find an excuse to leave the lecture. -,-

for EC: supposed to go through case study but we did not manage to get it. ms wong started comparing some welfare loss/deadweight loss thing for monopoly and PC firm. well, i was not feeling well then i slept half the tutorial. x= so sorry to ms wong. x=

for lunch: this is interesting. i somehow or rather "made up" with xiao hong. hahaha.

last friday, i had the excuse (that i cannot see the board) in mind and moved to sit beside xiao hong during math. i was already a bit sick so i was trying my best to focus in lesson. buddy is always smsing me. -,- trying to explain myself, trying to focus in lesson, trying to track qi long down.

my phone vibrated again, there it goes and i did not pick the phone up immediately. xiao hong thought that it might not be my phone since i have no reaction. she asked in an irritated manner,
xiao hong: "tsk, whose is it? (looks at me) yours huh?"
me: yeah, cannot meh? (frowns eyebrows)
after that, we did not talk much due to my sore throat and a slight anger resides in me. XD.

over the weekend, i did not contact her.

today during GP, i sat further from them, trying to fulfil my social responsibility to the fullest. =D she thought i was ignoring her when she called me to pass me the Times magazine and i did not hear her. when FFF shouted, i heard and i turned to get it. get the point?

during CH tutorial, FFF told me that xiao hong did not dare to talk to me in fear that i was angry. i was like, LOL, am i that unfriendly like FFF? =D during lunch, it was a perfect timing to break the silence when we went to get drinks. (oops, i think i ignored her when we had eye contact during CH tutorial).

when we finished our food, she asked if we want any drinks. i replied, i want to go there and see on my own. there we went together after ten steps, i went to grab her neck and said loudly, "why you don't dare to talk to me?" she suddenly said friendly-ly, "how i know you ..."

during lunch: xiao hong said what the f--- to me. i was like, wah seh, HY said what the f--- sia. hahaha.

for GP: i said a joke then she said what the f--- to me again. i therefore concluded that she must say what the f--- to me per hour. about 1330, 1420, 1500.

for math: she said the sacred three words to me at 1656 when lesson was ending. she missed the 1700 hour's sacred three words. LOL.

i finished this in 20 minutes (shortest)!
i am still sick and coughing severely. x=
borrowing 5th HP movie from chia wei.
going back to complete my math tutorials!

work to be done!
- one econ essay
- two history outlines
- three math tutorials
- four chemistry tutorials

28/07- 02/08.

2009-08-02T21:00:00.001+08:00

28/07: i totally forgot about it.

29/07: totally slack. x=

how can i afford to slack?
only 10 weeks are left. oh man.
where is the mugger me?
did i lose myself in the selfish world?

i almost forgot i already lost my true self.
so now i also lost the fake zhuang yi.
greatness.

30/07: CA1 first attempt.

i will not get A.
i will not get overall A for math.
i will get very low for A level ranking points.
oh man. oh great. oh truck.

and the na-gang just came up with a new topic today during "lunch" break about -sexual. as usual, i am the target. -,-

31/07: NDP trainings at YJC and YTSS.

nothing much. just that my minor sore throat turned severe and soon developing a fever.

01/08: unit sec 4 POP.

buffet lunch.
subway dinner.
chicken wings supper.
guess what is my current weight? x=

02/08: rotting sunday.

officially developed a fever- 37.8 degrees.

10 weeks more to promo.

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

movies (so near yet so far):
harry potter and the order of phoenix
harry potter and the half blood prince
orphan

sick, warm and tired now.
yawns. tired of all these shyt. ):

22/07 - 27/07.

2009-07-27T18:30:00.001+08:00

22/07: TGIW when there is PW.

we were dismissed at 1330 due to the next hour being PW lesson. after that, i was reminded of blood donation and my FFF left for home. i had a meeting with the selected UG people about NDP@YJC. blah blah blah.

i saw my CF and chatted with her then left for choir. my dinner was with them and at about 7 plus, i checked for the prices of the digital photo album and went home.

23/07: TGIT when there is LC!

i went to watch "The Haunting in Connecticut" with them- fiona, zhixin, amanda, na zhi, terry, anurag, nickman, choppie and samuel. it was for zhixin's brithday celebration and we pulled her to the theatre on the pretext of watching HP. hahaha.

we reached the theatre late coz of dinner then we ran into theatre 3. little did we know that zhixin will slow down and notice that it was screening "The Haunting..." hahaha! she stopped and asked, why? i thought it is HP?! due to her ultimate reluctance, we had to drag her in. XD.

great movie!

24/07: TGIF with loads to think about.

think about the past.
think about the present.
think about the future.

25/07: 13 hours clocked! (=

totally did not do any work. XD. after that i went to my grandparents' house. dinner was crashing my sister's BBQ at 9 plus. i wondered what i was angry about. -,-

26/07: OCIP LCIP + spectacles making!

so many tests needed for making spectacles. cool.

firstly, it was the scanning of the eyes.
secondly, seeing alphabets and numbers.
thirdly, comparing different slides of circles.
lastly, comparing the green and red 8.

woah! collecting it on thurs before going for CCA.

27/07: LONG lessons as usual.

my FFF showed me and xiao hong a part of a show of "picture this" using my earpiece, and it was seriously funny. after that, we watched the show together till the exciting part when we have to leave the canteen for GP lesson. -,-

i told my FFF that we cannot be the last to go for GP lesson so she started to run from behind me. we started to run to sara and amos. she pushed amos to his left and within the next second, i pushed him to his right. hahaha. BUT THEN do you remember i said that we watched the show using my earpiece? i forgot to zip the compartment which i had my earpiece AND thermometer inside. conveniently, my thermometer slid out of my bag. -,-

so embarrassing after the brillant act of pushing them aside to run past them. only i can manage to do that. -,-

hopefully math test was okay. x=

~~17/07: CCSP at Victoria Theatre.~~
~~26/07: OCIP LCIP.~~
--/08: .38 revolver shooting prelim!
01/08: unit sec 4 POP.
07/08: NDP/ college day celebration.

11 weeks more to promo.

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

movies (so near yet so far):
transformers: revenge of the fallen
- forget about this. passion died. XD.
~~ice age 3: dawn of the dinosaurs~~
- i do not mind going for another round! (=
harry potter and the half blood prince
orphan
~~the haunting in connecticut~~

doing my GP essay and eating my dinner.
next, off to lalaland for more adventures.

17/07 - 21/07

2009-07-21T20:58:00.004+08:00

17/07: CCS performance. plus no TGIF plans. x=

i went to collect my econ papers then left for rehearsals at the hall. rehearsals were so badly done and everyone was so slack. teacher was also so sick and tired of saying the same things. x= so he just let the nonsense carry on.

disappointing results, disgusting rehearsals.

i was smsing them about the performance at night at victoria theatre. i doubt that was going to be the last time performing the item but it seemed the case to everyone. x= dilly dally here and there and it was already 6. touching up on the makeup, getting prepared and hearing the "last" speech by teacher.

out we go! after receiving a sms which says the previous performance was jitao cui. hahaha! was that pressure or boosting my morale? LOL.

performances were by PJC, YJC, bartley sec, NJC.

jasmine asked me to meet her to get the flowers but then i could not due to upcoming photo-taking and teachers do not allow. x= we were talking before the photo-taking and my pose for the last photo was simply, (insert adj. here). i simply look the image below, except my hands are both on the floor to balance myself.

after chatting for a good (insert no. here) minutes, i had to leave to clear the room which i think no one would, except me, aveline and ms ang. if not for the sake of my file being in dance studio, i would have left vistoria theatre on my own. x= in the end, i also did not do any work during the weekends. -,-

18/07: 13 hours of sleep!

i woke up and did nothing productive. there goes one sat. one sat lesser to the countdown to THE promotional examinations!

i again emo-ed like some (insert adj. here). ):

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban.

19/07: meeting in the morning.

agenda was sent very late. from 1030 to 1400 was our meeting, talking about past and upcoming events in the year. to my shock, no one got scolded. hahaha. or even nagged at.

i had dinner at grandparents' house.
nice nice nice dishes ALL the time! (=

harry potter and the goblet of fire.

20/07: college starts AGAIN.

imagine there are like 40 times of such blue days in a school year, excluding the holidays and those extra lessons. -,-

new TGIM plans. =D new and upcoming TGIT, TGIW, TGIT and TGIF plans for this exclusive week! mon at 5, tue at 4, wed at 1340 (excused from PW lesson!), thu at 1240, fri at 5 BUT in preparation for the weekends! (shyt! time is running out for promotional examination preparation! x= die die die!)

21/07: TGIT plans at AMK hub.

notice that i seldom use short forms in my blog? well, i did it just to fit within a line. LOL. my next target/goal/aim is the whatever meal at nebo and AMK hub.

$22.50 but there are conditions! if you can finish it within 5 minutes, you get a $100 nebo food voucher, within 8 mintues, $30 nebo food voucher. i am not sure if the person has to pay the $22.50 if he/she accomplishes that.

i am salivating now! =D

the shut up game may have ended with me talking to you first, i hope it does not restart with you stopping to talk to me again. ):

~~17/07: CCSP at Victoria Theatre.~~
25/07: .38 revolver shooting prelim!
postponed! fortunately. hahaha.
26/07: OCIP LCIP.
01/08: unit sec 4 POP
07/08: NDP/ college day celebration.
07/08: unit NDP/ unit photo-taking.

12 weeks more to promo.

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

movies (so near yet so far):
transformers: revenge of the fallen
~~ice age 3: dawn of the dinosaurs~~
- i do not mind going for another round! (=
harry potter and the half blood prince
orphan

off to lalaland for more adventures next. (=

16/07

2009-07-16T23:00:00.001+08:00

i went to college and only attended one lesson which is math from 0820 to 0940. after that, i had a break all the way until 1210 which i have to leave for CCS full-dress rehearsal. well, my next lesson after math was HT at 1210. -,-

i FINISHED and handed in the cuba project. mrs lay-naing passed me my A level certificate during morning assembly, which i keep forgetting to get from ms luo. x= i realized i have to attain A for the rest of my math tests to get an overall A for math for promotional examination. x=

twice in auditorium and five (?) times at victoria theatre. from now till then is about 21 hours. x= hopefully everything runs smoothly tml! =D

i know that there is definitely something between us. the situation will never improve if you do not talk. it really hurts me to talk to you. you tell me, what happened? what should i do? what can i do?

i think i am going to emo tml again. thanks.
good night to you and IF i see you in lalaland.

13/07-15/07.

2009-07-16T00:00:00.001+08:00

13/07: typical monday blues.

similar daily problems and troubles.
life is so mundane and exhausting.
someone, spice it up for me. -,-

14/07: i got out from the wrong side of the door.

i was still okay when i woke up in the morning and when i was still at home. but somehow when i left home, i turned emo. -,- only two things can make it happen. firstly is you and secondly is that. XD. all the bad memories came flowing back to me in the morning. i totally displayed my black face during PE and returned to normal after perspiring all the frustrations. my FFF got up from the wrong side of the bed and we dao-ed together.

i was super tired and stoned during the last part of math lesson. x= integration is something which i am really lousy at. x= i have yet to finish half the tutorial! x=

my chemistry tutor said he has uploaded the chemistry result and obviously when everyone went online during his lesson to check, he so did not! such a liar. and he better upload it before i get my econ results. if not i will definitely confront him. super irritated.

15/07:

i just went to read the entries in july 2008. woah. to think that i emo-ed on the same two days- 13th and 14th. LOL. interesting. i shall wait for 14/07/10 to come and compare the trend. x= to add on, chemistry result is still not out. what does lsk want?

performance is on friday. yet we are still not performing. much unhappiness within the group, much unhappiness within everyone, much unhappiness with me.

you won me by so much in the shut up game. GREAT.

cuba project is not finished. -,-
i shall attempt to wake up at 5 to finish it.

17/07: CCSP at Victoria Theatre.
25/07: .38 revolver shooting prelim!
26/07: OCIP LCIP.
07/08: NDP/ college day celebration.
13 weeks more to promo.

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

movies (so near yet so far):
transformers: revenge of the fallen.
~~ice age 3: dawn of the dinosaurs.~~
i do not mind going for another round! (=
harry potter and the half blood prince.

off to lalaland for more adventures now.
hope to see you there? i doubt so.

08/07-12/07.

2009-07-13T02:45:00.002+08:00

08/07: CCS practice.

the chairman of something of victoria theatre came at 6 to see our performance and gave comments. i do not think anyone copied them down? lol. as if all of us can remember. -,-

09/07: long lessons with great breaks.

thursdays are what i look forward to, yet am tired of. straight 2.5 hours of break but 3 hours of math. not forgetting that today mrs kwang informed the whole college that lessons will start at 0820 instead of 0850. so i had 3.5 hours of math. -,- i really think that it is her ploy to get the principal to approve this impromptu plan of hers.

she realized her dreams like what i have been saying. she has a math lesson seating plan now. did i forget to mention that we have a seating plan for all lessons? and chemistry lectures? this is so sickening. the four of us are separated. -,-

except econ lectures though. but ms aminah said she might be going to make one soon. according to our block test results. the lower your marks are, the more behind you will sit. for those who do not understand, she targets the last row.

i got my phone back, shopped and went for dinner with jiakhee before she flies the next day to bangkok for three days. oh yeah, i forgot to mention that after everything, i got 35 for VC 1 and do not have to take test three. she foiled my plan to ace VC 1. XD.

10/07: TGIF! with no plans. x=

super irritated with that mr chng. i seriously took offence with what he said about me. and he was lucky that i was not in a bad mood beforehand, thus i did not shoot him. after that, i was superbly angry. he was rude to a lot of us btw.

11/07: CCS practice from 0930 - 1230.

same routine: temperature taking, dilly dally, moved the props, a briefing and off we went. we started with two rounds of rehearsals, acting other people's roles. i acted as Boy A for the first and Robber A for the second. for the actual round, i stood in as Boy A.

the rehearsal was through without me in my role.
or even the existence of my role in the rehearsal.

after that was lunch at the food mall and mugging (differentiation) at long john silver's with vennecia and friends.

12/07: 13 hours again! =D

i slept from 1am till 2pm. i woke up and finished differentiation tutorial. blah blah blah.

thanks for singing that in my ears.
i tried and cannot forget the tune.

i just finished the cuba project.
it was slipshod but who cares. -,-

17/07: CCSP at Victoria Theatre.
25/07: .38 revolver shooting prelim!
26/07: OCIP LCIP.
07/08: NDP/ college day celebration.
13 weeks more to promo.

movies (so near yet so far):
transformers: revenge of the fallen.
ice age 3: dawn of the dinosaurs.
harry potter and the half blood prince.

off to lalaland now. hope to see you there.

06/07 - 07/07.

2009-07-07T19:20:00.004+08:00

06/07: CCS practice from 1000 to 1300.

after the practice, i went to junction eight to send my g900 for repairs. the screen blanked out on me, keep switching on and off. x= it was 1080++ when i pressed for my number- 1114. i walked in junction eight for an hour, another 15 minutes in the shop before my turn. -,-

i saw some items of my list there. (=
umbro jacket.
reebok shoes.
umbro trackpants.
a possible new balance backpack.

not very prepared to receive block test results! x=

07/07: "first" day of term 3!

i woke up at 0645 diligently and WENT BACK TO SLEEP. -,- i was almost late and i did not have the luxury to tie my hair properly! it was then messed up during PE.

2 rounds on the track,
2 rounds of quadrangle (for me and sang only?),
2 rounds of carpark,
10 crunches,
10 lunges,
10 push-ups,
10 crunches.
i was not very faithful to cool-down and it hurts after math.

why must this happen to me? if it was some others, they would have just lived with it, lived HAPPILY with it. but since the result would be the same, i think i might as well study everything again and take the third test. at least it would be then a fairER judgement to my ability rather than a rushed night chionging everything. IT IS THE KET CONCEPTS THAT MATTERS.

08/07 : CCS practice.
08/07: photo taking sessions.
09/07 : CCS performance to JC1s.
this is SO cancelled as well. x=
16/07: VC 1 test three. (=
i believe in true ability than hasty work.
i believe in key concepts than mere luck.
17/07: CCSP at Victoria Theatre.
25/07: .38 revolver shooting prelim!
26/07: OCIP LCIP.
07/08: NDP/ college day celebration.

movies:
transformers: revenge of the fallen.
ice age 3: dawn of the dinosaurs.
harry potter and the half blood prince.
ghosts of girlfriends past.

reminders!
> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

anyway. i am going to sleep now. =D

03/07 - 05/07.

2009-07-06T00:00:00.007+08:00

03/07: rotting at home! =D

i have clocked another 17 hours in lalaland. XD. this is a required process to fix the sleep disorders. normal starvation would have already solved the diet disorders whereby emotion disorders have yet to be rectified. x=

04/07: carnival + NDP CR 3. (:

i went to my cousins' carnival alone. -,- west spring sec. i was quite shocked to see a couple of my friend and juniors there. razak, christina and friend, ting qing and li na. but i only exchanged a few sentences with them before walking around in the campus with my cousin.

after that, i met up with xiao-xing at suntec to see a gaming exhibition and saw ye qin. there were a lot of cosplay-ers. most of them are not familiar except bison and mario. we then went for a late lunch at 3 plus.

NDP combined rehearsal three. we got our tickets through jeremy and i enjoyed the performances. not that parade was not good, BUT THEN.

i saw kui ching at the holding area. i forgot what colour he wore, so i do not know what force is he from. but still cool. i heard from jeremy that the fireworks were only 25% yesterday but still quite a considerable amount.

after that it was late dinner for us. nothing much, just trainers left with HTA bus and FI stanford suddenly appeared. i went for dinner with xiao-xing, allison, jeremy, FI stanford, mark and julia. anyway, super seven incher is less than a five incher. -,-

i holland a bit to marine parade then home.

why do i give you 100% trust?
because i think i should,
that is why i must.

05/07: rotting.

i clocked 12 hours, but not 17.

CCS practice tml from 1000 to 1230. on youth day. snorts. 4 days of holiday shortened to 2. coz one was used to repair the sleep disorders and another for CCA and mug. IF possible.

i still care about you,
because i still love you.

27/06- 02/07.

2009-07-02T18:00:00.002+08:00

27/06: start of system disorder.

i was going to sleep late tonight. nope, i mean i was waiting for my supper, then was not going to sleep so early. there is a BIT of difference there. hmm.

i went to lie down on my bed for a while (planned for a 15-minute power nap) but in the end i slept till 0630. i was almost late for CIP but anyway, a lot of people were late.

i did duty with a girl whose name i do not know how to spell. she is from SG23, KCPS and wu shu. hmm. we talked about a lot of things, like cars, academics, wu shu and others. =D

i did not manage to see PM Lee while WXY saw.

i went home, packed and slept at 1355. at 1405, something interesting happened. . .

i received 4 persistent calls from my FFF. -,- i muted two, i rejected one, sent a sms and finally picked up to ask what does she want. the conversation went like this:

me: what is it?
FFF: what are you doing? why are you sleeping? wake up now! study!
me: i just slept. only for five minutes then you called.
FFF: no, cannot sleep. it is only a few more hours. you will thank me in the future. hurry up, wake up to study. do not sleep!
me: just let me sleep la. i am very tired. i never sleep yesterday.
FFF: okay okay. i let you sleep for a while. how long do you intend to sleep until?
me: at least 2 hours.
FFF: huh! why so long. one hour not enough meh?
me: cannot. i will still be very tired. 2 hours.
FFF: okay lor, 2 hours ar. then why not 3 hours? hahaha.
me: 3 hours also cannot. i will be very tired. i need to sleep at least 2 or 7 hours. not more or less than that.
FFF: aiyo. you very weird leh. okay okay. 2 hours ar. i will call you later hor. from just now, you slept for half an hour liao. i give you another 1.5 hours to sleep. later i will call you.

which the phone call took about 10-15 minutes of my sleeping time? hahaha. but in the end, i slept till 5 and studied till the next morning.

28/06: four more to go!

last day to mug before everything starts. x=

it WAS always more optimistic to say how many to go, rather than how many down. but now, times have changed! it has no impact when you say, 3 more to go, coz you know that you have only 4 subjects. hahaha!

29/06: economics!

elasticity and costs essays and
demand and supply case study.

i went home after papers and lunch at subway with FFF and SFF (the abbreviation is really awful). i slept from 2pm to 7am! hahaha. a total of 17 hours. well done!

last three papers!

30/06: no paper today!

i woke up at 7am and only officially started work at 3pm. -,- i have been on the phone, on the net and on the verge of watching tv. x=

i only touched chemistry for a while and then vectors. gosh. it is really very bad not to be doing work and realizing you are lost in the world of numbers (and directions).

last three papers!

01/07: chemistry!

my favourite sia! i got the most distinct answer wrong. -,- not that the question is really easy. after my o levels SPA, people will ask around what is the metal and what gas was evolved. so this time round, people asked, what is the element? it was La and i got Ga. after staring at the periodic table, i found out that my calculated number of moles is half of the answer. x=

mole concepts.
oh yeah, i was telling FFF that we should leave one month per subject for promotional examinations. and we are ALREADY 0.5 month late!

3.5 months to promotional examinations!

last two papers!

02/07: math and history!

math was okay, not too bad as i had imagined, but the result is going to be definitely worse than my imagination. x= about 4 to 5 questions out of 10 from the question bank ($$). hahaha.

history was the worst of all subjects, as expected. i was not prepared plus my foundation is weak (now i doubt if i have any in the first place). i am really going to chiong for history. i think i will reduce the subject duration to 0.5 month and the rest for history. =D

i wonder if this will work. -,-

TWO excited announcements:
BLOCK TEST 2009 IS OVER.
NEXT UP: NATIONAL DAY.

03/07: rot at home. maybe i can study.
strike when the iron is still hot.
04/07: out with xiao-xing! (:
05/07: to be planned.
06/07: CCS practice.
07/07: TERM 3 STARTS.

movies:
transformers: revenge of the fallen.
ice age 3: dawn of the dinosaurs.
ghosts of girlfriends past.
harry potter and the half blood prince.

~~29/06 - 02/07: block test.~~
03/07 : jogathon (my card is empty!)
HAHAHA. IT IS CANCELLED!
04/07 - 05/07: CCS camp
this is cancelled as well. x=
06/07 : youth day holiday in lieu!
this will never, ever be cancelled!
if not i will self declare it as holiday.

but then ar, extra practice on 06/07.
08/07 : CCS practice.
09/07 : CCS performance to JC1s.
17/07: CCSP at Victoria Theatre.
25/07: .38 revolver shooting prelim!
26/07: OCIP LCIP.
07/08: NDP/ college day celebration.

> 09/08/09: TWO intensive months.
> 21/10/09: FREE FROM PAPERS!

anyway. i am going to sleep now. =D
the system will be repaired by tml.

no more diet disorders.
no more sleep disorders.
no more emotion disorders. =D

rubbish.

2009-06-27T01:00:00.001+08:00

"if you want a living dead me,
i can grant your wish.

if you want me to have EQ zero,
i can grant it as well.

but then you never cared."

EQ zero. how low has my EQ got? i have many great friends now. people like queen b (who just talked to me yesterday), xiao hong, yin mei, ALL, wen yan, the rich one and others. living dead? EQ zero? somehow these adjectives are not for me. i have totally failed and also became louder this year. not in the sense of shouting, but literally as a person.

many know me as the parade commander, some others their UG, choir or CCS friend, nearly a hundred as their YTSS schoolmate and another hundred as their classmate. the special three know me as na dui. maybe i have been that outstanding as a passer-by A in their lives, coz i am one of the loudest?

all these do not show that i am a living dead or possess zero EQ. i have already said, those traits are in me, flowing in my blood. try draining me of my blood, and probably you can get rid of those exclusive characteristics. by then, the zhuang yi everyone knows will really be non-existent.

it is very miserable, trying to do everything that is not me. it has been such a long time, will i forgot that is the real me, who zhuang yi used to be and how was i like in the past. maybe a pathetic person who does nothing but waste time.

as least you still have the ability to remove the mask. i no longer see or even feel the difference between the mask and myself.

19/06

2009-06-26T23:30:00.001+08:00

hello people. here i am again, although i said that the next update was supposed to be after my block test. x=

what for putting in the emotions when nothing will be rewarded for the efforts? such insignificant and dumb inputs. oh well, that is you. what else to expect?

preparation for block test is still hopeless, nonetheless, i am putting in efforts to carry on with salvations. ): after hearing what queen b said about giving her mum a reason to get her her dream HTC, then i thought it is a forget-it case for me. -,-

my G705! ):

there is nothing great being faster or better, coz you had the headstart! you ought to be different from them, be outstanding from them. can you allow yourself to be slower or worse?

19/06: qi long's birthday bbq!

i went there with cheryl. i really have to thank her for that. we walked from carpark B to carpark i-do-not-know-what. it was the other end of ECP. -,- one hour walk from BBQ pit 20+ to BBQ pit 57.

we even thought that he pranked on us. lol. coz we saw some carpark with pit 56, without showing indication of pit 57.

20/06: father's day celebration at grandparents' house.

i bet i gained a few pounds. x=

21/06: zero concentration. -,-

li bu cong xin. -,-

22/06: chemistry.

23/06: math and chemistry.

i finished chemistry till IMF. last chapter for another day, before i started for math. it was such a torture attempting the questions, when i know nuts about it. i am going to put in another or two days for it, before i could even pass. what about my minimum C? x= this sucks.

24/06: zero [] and BBQ with them.

i do not even call it a class outing, coz the attendance is just 14 out of 26. slightly more than half. -,- abigial did not notice that we bought the cake for her birthday, but she knows it was for her (coz we already bought a vegetarian cake which she does not eat).

we met up with the PHD in tokcockcology and had great times. =D though we are in different course of life now, but then we are aiming for the same place!

plus i came up with a few abbreviations. =D

25/06: zero concentration. -,-

zhe shi ji shi kai shi de? wo de lian pi wei shen me guo le na me jiu hai shi shi ying bu liao yi qie ne? ta hai bian de geng jing bu qi xiao hua he pi ping. x=

26/06: i slept and overslept till 1250.

i managed to finish demand and supply. i am going for elasticity and costs tml! i believe i can do it. i have better concentration today than yesterday, so if i just maintain it, no problem! (=

it seems like what fang yu taught me is going to be useless for block test, but definitely not useless for promotion or A levels. my eventual aim is A level and not some block test.

27/06: rotting at home for econ!

i am not attending the meeting.
i am not going for 76th IC duty.
i am going to stay home for econ!

28/06: wellness ambassadors CIP.

i will be taking the 7am bus there for some sports thing, exact details unknown. -,- i only heard from xiao hong that it consists of a netball competition.

i will be mugging math on sunday.
wish me luck and zero distractions.

01/06 - 18/06

2009-06-18T16:15:00.003+08:00

01/06 - 05/06: holiday lessons. nothing much to say. except that i know i will fail my chemistry test. and PA PSYF concert was a success. (=

06/06: the day which i broke my rifle, 3 years ago. XD.

07/06: analysis of test paper.

08/06: chemistry retest.

09/06: slack slack slack.

10/06: i went to HTA, univited.

11/06: late for chemistry lesson! =D

12/06: preparation!

in this society, no one affords to be weak, even for a moment. coz being weak means wasting time and time is essential to success. everyone is selfish, everyone just cares about themselves ONLY. everyone in this society just improves and advances.

a weak being stays stagnant, and not forgetting the whole world advancing towards their goals. there is no use grumbling about how unfair the world is, how evil can this person gets. coz time waits for no one and nobody will wait for any others.

think about the distance between a strong-minded and a weak being. that does not show how capable the strong-minded person is; it shows how weak is the other.

13/06 - 14/06: i have said and emo-ed enough? lol.

15/06: happy birthday to qi long and abigial!

i did all sorts of nonsense when i woke up. i did the laundry, sunned the laundry and kept in the laundry. =D after which, i engaged myself in a very interesting activity- PT. hahaha. i did all sorts of exercises to keep fit. (= after the perspiration, i went to bathe and went online before meeting them.

we met up at 6 at yishun mrt station before going to the fish n chicks beside sembawang shopping centre for dinner. after that was 2110 at yishun GV for . the dragging was not literal, so no worries after being pulled by your friends after the movie. there was not much fear factor, but shock factors were omnipresent. if your girlfriend is really timid, you can try and scare her a bit. hopefully your dream comes true.

16/06: i watched wolverine and slacked for the day.

i went to do chemistry tutorials after realizing it is already the third week. x= catching up with tutorials is still okay, but then at the amount i have caught up with, the fear of inability to finish the syllabus took me.

17/06: happy birthday to dad and jessica!

i went studying with hong yu from 10 to 9, with stoning breaks, lunch break and chatting breaks in between. shawn and jun yang joined after lunch. supper after 9 was okay. i did not eat much. coz the proportion of my food is always sama sama to the proportion of my monkeys.

18/06: the day which i finally posted. =D

just to say: i am going to be updating after 2 july. below is my schedule for the rest of my holidays and of course, showing everyone that i am busy. XD.

16/06 - 19/06: studying chemistry!
19/06 : qi long's birthday BBQ.
20/06 - 21/06: studying math!
22/06 - 23/06: studying economics!
24/06 - 25/06: studying history!
26/06 - 27/06: catching up with everything! x=
28/06 : wellness CIP.

29/06 - 02/07: block test. x=
03/07 : jogathon (my card is empty!)
04/07 - 05/07: CCS camp
06/07 : youth day holiday in lieu!
08/07 : CCS practice.
09/07 : CCS performance to JC1s.

01/06.

2009-06-02T00:35:00.003+08:00

01/06: first day of holiday lessons.

chemistry lecture test! crystal, me, vince and lionel went to the auditorium which was the wrong venue. x= we ran off to the lab area after settling down and realizing. in the end, half the class stood outside LT 3 while the rest are already inside the lab.

i was drowning in the sea of panic and my handwriting was super big. like what i told hong yu, yue da, yue pa, which means, the bigger it is, the more scared i get. x= i was frantically drawing all the dot-and-cross diagrams and could not draw NO3-. x= nvm nvm. everything is over, and i know i will do quite badly.

relationship programme was more fun than expected. hahaha. you cannot blame me for the impression that the college gives for all activities. =D the speaker is danny/denny. he is super dramatic although he made me angry by waiting for 10 minutes (and college made me wait for 20 minutes). my life should not be spent waiting!

choir practice! it is the concert on this friday!

dinner date with fang yu! (=
astons at sembawang SC.
she is flying to china tml la. ):
having another date soon.

21/05 - 24/05.

2009-05-29T13:45:00.003+08:00

21 - 22/05: i forgot. hahaha. mundane ba?

23/05: math trail!

long time since i last came to sentosa! hahaha. the trail was fun with the correct people! my group (tracy, hong yu, crystal and i) started off the trail with joseph, manfred (aka mandrid), jia yang and clara. then we separated after the second station.

blah blah blah.

the trail ended just like that, with much laughters and everything contributed by tracy, hong yu, crystal and me!

i lunched with SG 01 people. anurag, sean, cassandra and zi hao. xiao yun accidentally called me when she wanted to ask her friends out for a drink. i was quite tempted but very tired, so i just stayed home. x=

24/05: pig life day!

i only remembered i slept and slept till 1 pm. it is considered early for own initative. XD. after that, i went to my grandparents' place for dinner. we watched a movie, "mongols". cool. it is about genghis khan and his nobilities. (=

25/05: monday again.

with all the work mostly undone.

26/05: calculus test one.

but of course, i did not take it. =D

there and then i confirmed, there and then i was scared that the arrrangement will change. i chatted on the phone with xiao xing till 1am? (=

27/05: CCA day!

choir post-SYF concert is nearing. x=

28/05: CF test three.

but i am not involved. i think i am really really slackening. x= i am no longer studying as hard as the start of the year. shyt! this cannot happen. i shall not settle for even a D in block test, moreover promotional examination. x=

i am proud to be a senior, so treat me like one!

(macam some campaign slogan. -,-)

29/05: GP block test!

i am engaged in this exciting paper.

what kind of venue were we assigned to. -,- b3-08 was like some oven. it was so stuffy inside that when i placed my arm at the side of the table, it slipped off. kns. not forgetting to mention that i fell asleep during paper 2 after hypnotized by the amount of questions they can ask from the passage. -,-

i think i forgot to mention that paper 1 was VERY badly done.

shyt!

i rushed down to PE staffroom to bid goodbye to ms soh, but she left slightly earlier. my paper ended at 1235 and i reached the staffroom at 1240. x= i am not looking forward to the dinner date that the four of us have with her. =D

college policy to stay in until 1330.

dumb. -,- i wasted my time which i just written an essay about how the use of technology helped us to save time.
and also mr lim's trust on me. dumb.

15/05- 20/05.

2009-05-20T23:00:00.001+08:00

15/05: celebration of mr poon's birthday!

candle broke, fire extinguished, but nevertheless, the celebration went great! mr poon and his delicious ai-xin cupcakes. YUMMY but sinful! andrey and his yu qiu.

not forgetting some "jokes" from lesson: blue card implemented. -,- i can never understand why it is so interesting. red and yellow cards as well!
not forgetting some jokes from lesson: bringing in actual cards for lessons and also my contribution of throwing in the whistle.

HAHAHA.

i chatted with lea for two hours and twice of my plate flying to me after i aggressively hit it from the side. forever accident-ful.

16/05: new bill started! and still that phone.

mug mug mug.

17/05: snorts to sunday!

i slept until 3pm, as usual-- late. =D super piglife.

18/05: monday blues again!

first lesson was taken off!
last lesson was taken off!
this is the least blue monday! hahaha!

choir was "like that lor". XD.
my narration of lectures. =D

19/05: another piglife evening.

for a change: mac for lunch today!

PC/CT with lots of jokes and fun! tracy, i appreciate the pink cloud joke. not on me definitely, but some other people. =D

i finished dinner, slept from 1845 to 0650. -,-

20/05: "no" cca day for me!

i did 5 hours of work in the library and another 2 hours at the CC. but of course, any other people can do it in a shorter time. only i can drag it over the hours.

you were so used to being the best. now how are you going to get used to this kind of normal passerby lifestyle? you were in the limelight for everything, but now, you are only seldomly hit by the follow spot. artistically inclineed? my foot! sports declined? more like it. what are you good at? i know, being a good-for-nothing.

13/05 - 14/05.

2009-05-14T22:10:00.003+08:00

13/05: sports day!

i was not involved on actual day's events this year. well. i can then take a break from my 2.4km aftereffects. hahaha. first aid duty was horrible. not because of the weather or whatsoever, but other things.

so many prison break cases. hahaha!

na zhong mo ming qi miao de ai mei. =D

14/05: CF one test.

i was almost late for college but of course not.
i tried to listen to the creature and it sort of pulled through.

module test was totally retarded. it is absolutely fine if you cannot drop hints to us but when we ask you to explain the tutorial question, you refused to? now that the question came out, you are happy that 90% of your class is going to score a big zero for that question? you must be sick in your mind.

just to cleanse the anger.

WOAH. YISHUN JUNIOR COLLEGE'S CHINESE CULTURAL SOCIETY (CHINESE DRAMA) GOT A GOLD FOR SYF 2009! WELL DONE! =D

i realized that i have become more tanned from yesterday's duty. well. it was almost a three-hour tanning session under the blazing hot sun. such an experience working with THOSE people. i have no idea why i have that deep dislike when i have no direct contact with THEM until yesterday. i guess what he did, was direct to spark off the anger.

freaking hell. forever noisy and irritating.

yin wei ni zhuo mo bu tou,
wo wu shi wu ke xiang ni.

01/05 - 12/05.

2009-05-12T23:30:00.002+08:00

01/05: happy birthday vernicia!

labour day holiday! why holidays do not land on monday or thursday? so that i can miss the redundant monday and thursday math lessons. -,- now that i miss only one hour of math, and other lessons which i think are important like history (which i am so lousy in), fun chemistry SPA and healthy PE.

02/05: happy birthday hui ping!

03- 04/05: i forgot?

05/05: choir SYF.

06/05: drama till 2030.

i missed exercise session at ngee ann.
i missed zhiguang's birthday celebration.

and of course, i miss you.

07/05: happy birthday NPCC!
happy birthday squadmate aaron!
happy birthday batchmate zhiguang!

i was so glad that the celebration of NPCC Day in college was cancelled, if not i would have been super crude in my NPCC full uniform.

that creature never failed to make me angry at the start of every lesson. it thinks that its jokes are funny, and of course, they are not. -,- it and its bias towards science students. you could have jolly well request mdm koh to give you science students, but you did not?

i almost forgot you need more seniors and people for you to vent your manopausal mood swings on. i am very fine and very thankful that i am a SENIOR and also, it is not your subject which made me who i am today. i know eventually i MIGHT have to thank you for all the nonsense you are giving me, my senior friends and my row, but forget it. i will not give in.

lastly, you can get out of YJC if you want, coz i am so not going to!
gosh, to think that the creature is following me up to JC two, when i so do not need it in my life at all.

08/05: drama SYF!

i reported to b1-06 after my history test from 0815 to 0900 which i think i will do quite badly? x= although that was the first time which i wrote so much!

we had make-up and rehearsed for another few times before having a break for lunch. we then had to touch up on our make-up then set off to ACJC. i even brought my math lecture notes there to read, thinking that i already missed one hour of lesson.

i realized my make-up was so 'xun' as compared to those who were going to be burnt. x= i think what the make-up team did was to put more colours to our faces. suddenly we have a bearded and thick-browed robber. hahaha!

after everything (phew!), we went up to the audience seats to look at the remaining colleges. omg. i so think they underperformed and we could easily clinch a silver (or maybe a gold) if all colleges are of such standards. =D

safra partyworld with ccs people till 12am!
priscilla, pei pei, peggy, ben chieh, yong le and me!

09/05: happy birthday mark!

i went cycling at ubin!
jun hong, florence, hui ping, zhiguang, philo, abdullah, cumaran, xiao-xing and xiao-zhu.

sister's birthday dinner at beaulieu.

i reached home at 1830, bathed and set out to sembawang park. we had a not-too-easy-nor-too-hard time finding the place. hahaha.

i was attending to guests for my sisters then i found ken and i sat down to chat with him. XD. when i accidentally took more than what is proportionate for a normal person of my age, he said he can swop the plates with me to bring my plate to the table. so kind right!

after eating, i took over thomas' role as the DJ and of course i sang a FEW too many songs. oops. i seriously think that i am officially suffering from vocal exhaustion. x= 4 hours of partyworld and another 2 hours at beaulieu. x=

10/05: grandparents' house.

nothing much. just dinner, a while of sushido and TV!

11/05: mugged. LOL.

i finished the work that i have to hand in tml! so i am left with GP for the weekend work. x=

12/05: happy birthday jia khee!

argh. late for college. -,- i woke up at 0720 and my 'new' watch misled me into believing that it was 0735 when my handphone showed 0742 (all my times are 5 minutes faster). oh man! the sheepish look when they close the gate at my face. -,-

2.4km of timing exceeding 14.00 minutes? it meant nothing much, just a B or worse! x= and ms soh injured herself on sunday while playing basketball. her knee was bandaged in such a bulky way and it is so ugly but she can still bake two cakes yesterday. -,-

well well. the creature went mad.
this is something being nothing new.
i have had enough of you, creature.

21st birthday celebration for calista at lot one's pastamania. (=

why do people not take more care when they are already injured? tml i am on first aid duty! i shall see that another creature being useful and fulfilling his dreams of going to japan. XD.

i shall go off now. if not i will be late again. -,-
anyway, i just finished packing my FA kit. =D

17/04- 30/04.

2009-04-30T23:30:00.006+08:00

17/04: ARGH!

PE was horrible. intervals sessions were all along one round with 80 seconds for about 200++ metres. today's intervals session was 3 rounds with 300 seconds. we have more time, but it is really a test for my pathetic stamina level.

today is such a bad day for me, especially from 1515 to 1645.

to perform a dilution, i have to dilute the solution with distilled water until 250cm³ into a graduated flask. when i was pressing the wash bottle, the tip of the bottle had to go into the graduated flask. -,- when i was pouring everything out (of course with the tip), mr oh saw and scolded me for wasting time while waiting for crystal.

i was so not waiting for her! i wanted to explain, afterwhich i murmured to myself, forget it. nvm. HAI! after that, he said just pour the distilled water in through a funnel. it was a bad day for me and it overshot. i faster emptied the contents and re-did it. i only got it right the third time, thinking that the unlucky streak will leave me!

but things did not go better!

i moved on to pipetting FA2 and here comes another description of my bad day. the pipette filler is spoilt and the second one was no better! the first cannot perform its function while the second is about 95% unable to?

my mind blanked out thrice, all about forgetting what colour i should get at the end of the titration. argh. what kind of day i have had!

18/04: cca + NPAP 2009! (=

why do that person complain about something which we have to go through, instead of having to listen to stories during lessons and also to tolerate the endless biased scoldings? no wonder i feel that this batch of year ones are weird (oops, did i just assume that the person is a year one?)

NATIONAL POLICE CADET CORPS

ANNUAL PARADE 2009!

i went home to change after practice and set off to choa chu kang. i saw mrs ong after buying my bubble tea and went with her to HTA in mr soh's car.

i went to the carpark which the GOH will be failling-in and chatted with nicholas. i saw xiao-xing! she was trying to put eyedrops to her eyes while walking and i was told to hold on to her sword which was attached to her belt. so awkward. =D

the parade was great! with different types of formations by the SCs. i stood with YTWO beside the percusionists. not forgetting that NPAP is the day when the sec 4s are performing their last and stepping down on the same day. x=

i will not forget what happened two years ago.

19/04: what did i do ar? LOL.

20/04: long, long monday AGAIN. x=

21/04: as per normal

mass PE was horrible. coz those retarded people left halfway during PE last week, we shall have no games and all the way conditioning till the end of NAPFA. -,- lunges, improvised lunges, sit-ups, push-ups and three round of lane 7. x=

the irritation carries on and will grow. XD.

now eating forbidden food to keep myself awake. i am super sleepy now and often, my rooster will sound off to wake me up. =D

24/03: the terrible truth dawned.

i do not know what to say, but i really want to say. hahaha.

ni de fu chu, ni de gong xian.
ni de bei shang, ni de yan lei.

25/04: i was tortured! x=

i went to see the chinese doctor about my itchy, rotting legs. he said there was dirty blood in my legs then he has to let it out. what he did was to use a sort of ball-point pen object, with needle as the normal pen and poking my legs like fun? hahaha. that was to create outletsSs for the dirty blood to flow out.

it was so painful that i was practically pressing onto my mum's phone (coz i was smsing people with it) and almost stuffed it into my mouth to bite it. x= horrible pain. when i thought the doctor was done, he moved on from my left leg to my right leg. i was praying so hard that he would not see those above my knee, but he did and that was the worst pain of all!

26/04: out cold and hot.

shivering in BK then went out to the sun for some thawing and suntanning. hahaha.

27/04: long long monday. -,-

VP wong came to visit our econ tutorial when i think he "rested" his eyes. nothing much except that it was another boring monday with lessons until 5. x=

28/04: long long tuesday.

at least tuesday is better. college ends one hour earlier than monday. XD. although lunch is 30 mintues later.

29/04: as usual, short lessons.

ms aminah came to visit our econ tutorial for the third time. amos was forced to present alone for the PYQ. i totally cannot take it (as in cannot stay awake and also cannot tahan) when someone kept disrupting the lesson with answers with the gross voice, gross look and the gross posture.

after i finished the GP test, i totally KO-ed on my table, forgetting to cap my pen and drawing on my jacket. x= i recalled pressing my phone to acknowledge the reminder to do my history essay, seen andrea's sms which stated, "GOOD MORNING! +D", seeing them laughing at me when i stared and then ignored them and lastly, hearing mr loh talking about PW.

tracy's failed attempt to finish braiding hong yu's hair.
hong yu's and tracy's failed attempt to braid my hair.
tracy's "very successful" attempt to braid my hair.

30/04: slacking day? hahaha.

we slacked in the canteen for one hour which is during our break. bryan, hao sen, tracy and i each ate two bowls/plates of food. =D the auntie asked bryan and i respectively if we were very hungry and if we can finish the food.

sleepy week. coz of the bad way to start my week. x=

i stayed in college and walked around with rachel. we talked about all the random things, but great chat. =D

but it was such a bad encounter when you have a person running behind you and clapping to signal us to give way. obviously it was not successful, he practically crashed into you with the sweaty body and exclaimed, "out of the way, for god's sake!"

whatever country he is from, i just want to tell the man:

firstly, in Singapore, we do not clap to signal for people to stay out of your way.
secondly, in Singapore, we practise manners and it is the kindness movement now right?!
thirdly, i wonder why are foreigners so rude to us Singaporeans, ON OUR LAND.

it is about time you lose your momentum. x=

bleah. tired. finally finished updating!

27/03- 16/04.

2009-04-30T23:20:00.000+08:00

27/03: as per normal.

intervals for PE again. then CH SPA. argh argh argh. i think my skills are disappearing! i cannot concentrate during SPA. shall i go and request for a new timetable for my SG? only 1.5 hours of SPA and it is after PE. so productive.

i cannot remember what happened? it has been such a long time since i last updated. seems like my addiction is quite strong to deter me from blogging. x=

boring lessons and muggers' weekends © almost every week. hope that it gets more and more fruitful. =D

not much to say for this post le.
more emotional things next post.
more recent things next post.

23/03 - 26/03.

2009-03-26T22:30:00.002+08:00

23/03: monday. typical blues.

SGC session!

24/03:

PC/CT was changed to blood donation talk. blood donation is on 1st april, 1000 to 1600.

25/03: PW/SP.

no econ tests today!

school totally ended for me at 1325. i then went to HTA with clarice. parade training with CAT 1. hahaha. i was totally spending my time talking to philo, with the inclusion of bing loong sir during the training and josephine sir at the later part of the day.

dinner at long john.
online meeting.
knock out!

26/03: very emo day. hahaha.

SGC session!

she totally broke my record. i exclaimed, "i have never waited for a teacher for more than five minutes." then i walked away le. and then tracy tang copied my idea! hahaha. in the end, we started to walk away then everyone started to disperse (quoted). in the end, it was 15 minutes. fifteen! time is wasted being angry. hahaha. i shall have an indifferent attitude.

i should really learn how to control my temper, manage it and direct it to the people i want to. but today's loss of temper was a failure. the anger just suddenly rose to my head. i think i totally fit in the saying of "i lost my head." hahaha.

i shall put in more effort to accomplish:
control, manage, direct. =D

i am now GCP of SGC. hahaha.
total strength: two. quite sad. XD.

big news. shocking news. interesting news.
-,-

i am now officially blinded with hatred.
combined, consolidated, concentrated.

05/03 - 22/03.

2009-03-23T01:00:00.002+08:00

i am still here because of YOU.

05/03 - 06/03: typical college days?

07/03: i committed a CRIME. hahaha!

08/03: i went out to study with sophie. but i guess it was not very productive. coz i was waiting for something and it drew away all my attention from my homework. x=

high hopes do not guarantee results instead,
they garner you the ultimate disappointment. ):

12/03: chemistry lecture test!

hai. that subject which i may have been considering.
but with that, how can i break through the barrier and move on?

14/03 - 22/03: HORIDAYS (quoted).

14/03: celebrating values day!
15/03: was it a day to study? XD.
16/03 and 17/03: horiday lessons
18/03 and 19/03: CCAs.
20/03: very very very busy and tired day.
21/03 and 22/03: MUGGERS' WEEKENDS ©

14/03: CVD!
thanks to my friends for coming down to support, although i did not say so on that day. (= mas, humaira, xiang long, buddy and his fake girlfriend. hahaha! to think that i almost believed sia!

i woke up at 0730 and made it to college at slightly past 8. hmm. i think i saw only less than five people there. x= all of them are only coming at 9 or even later? we made it so clear that reporting time is 8 at the booth. hai.

the corn was not thawed and i went home to get those at my house. sales were very slow in the morning! and we were so worried about not being able to sell at least half of the total amount of corn. x= by lunch, we only used at most 30 packets of corn out of 80. x= by lunch, i went home already twice to get the corn and to get more corn.

sales began to pick up like tea-time, which is about 2pm onwards. at 4pm, i guess we are almost the only stall still selling things, the customers flocked to our booth for our corn! by then, i went home another two times to get corn, ice, butter and cups which i do not have at home. x=

the joke about using our internal energy to speed up the process of steaming, the mixer hands i have, the hypertension which i will cause our customers to have and many more. =D

you seriously ought to reflect about yourself.

we made a total of $1074 using $200++.

but the counting of the coupons was a bit tiring huh. we have to take out one piece by another, staple them according to tens, count the total amount and counter-check with another class. we helped cassandra's CTG and CTG 120 to count. hong yu's coupons are so easy to count! $10 by $10. hahaha! after clearing up, i went home to get changed and went out again.

Annual Camp campfire at CCHS(M).

someone, save me! before i disappear in despair.

16/03: math ss1 module test.

17/03: i cannot wait for 1610H to come!

18/03: math early in the morning and choir after that.
such unglamourous actions by me.
oh gosh. i cannot survive anymore! XD.

when the passion dies out,
and when hatred ignites.

19/03: drama in the afternoon.
roles have more or less decided?
but i cannot be BOY B right? lol.

CTG outing to the movies!
we watched "Marley and Me". i wondered if they are all human beings. hahaha. they said tears only reached their eyes but somehow or rather, they cannot flow out. is that on purpose or are sophie and i too emotional? hahaha!

a guided tour from dhoby ghaut to seng kang on train
and some bus from seng kang to bishan with fiona. =D

dinner was first-time pepper lunch!
sliced beef with egg, if i am not wrong.

i am in for many treats! q=

21/03 and 22/03: MUGGERS' WEEKENDS ©

21/03: yishun northpoint LJS.
i only accomplished an econ essay and less than 5 math st1.4 questions. hahaha. it was at least more productive than two saturdays ago. there is a SUBWAY in northpoint! it is right in front of harvey norman. cool! feetlong/footlongs, here i am! =D

crime crime crime.

22/03: dhoby ghaut SMU.
i accomplished one econ case study, all the math questions required to be handed in and GP comprehension deconstruction. progress is still slow but it will pick up next time!

dhoby ghaut. with the whatever memories.

i reached home at 1920 after bouncing from dhoby ghaut to yishun. there is a squad worth of an UG cadets from that school. they seemed to be back from a drill competition and they were hyper upon boarding the train. such disturbance.

you ought to be less paranoid.
do not think too much, okay?
the world is not about only you.

17/02 - 04/03.

2009-03-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

07/02: i remembered! hahaha. there was unit training. and the nomination of SPF-NPCC badge nominees.

________________________________________________

17/02 - 03/03: like lessons all the way?

and there is not much to blog about anyway, if not i would have done so. x=

04/03: in search of your presence, i saw yvonne.

i was walking to the bank and past interchange, i saw yvonne! it was such a long time since i last saw her. i was not there for squad outing, i was not there for investiture and i cannot remember the last event! x=

it turned out that both of us have already changed our numbers so we exchanged our numbers. (=

07/02 - 16/02

2009-03-04T00:00:00.007+08:00

07/02 and 08/02: too long ago. -,-

i need a jab of initiative!

09/02 - 13/02: orientation plus lectures.
subject combination was handed in long time ago's thursday (05/02) and i am still doubting my capability.

hmm. "am i lazy or am i hopeless?"
this question surfaced within me. x=

13/02: i went for training when the NCOs had their written test. hmm. -,- after that it was a squad BBQ with me, roland, jia hui, mas, jeremy and aaron. woah. we had a great great time talking about everything. hahaha. the 19th batch NCOs. =D

14/02: valentine's day. first day of CLTC 2009.

those redundant thoughts reverberated in my mind. -,-

16/02: lessons officially start!

are you as smart?
are you as diligent?
are you as good as them ALL?

sudden emoness. x=

2009-02-22T00:15:00.003+08:00

i was stalking someone's blog since 2200. that person is a consistent blogger in the past but not now. i only read like four months during these two hours? more to catch up soon.

some thoughts so far:
(not about the blog but everything)

EMPTY PROMISES

why would anyone want to make promises and then break them? true enough that there is a saying which i thought it to be a retarded one, "rules are meant to be broken" BUT does that apply to promises? oh my, i am hating increasingly this.

perhaps it is really time that i fulfil one of my blog entry's content. though it is in my blood, with this rate of increase of hatred for everything in my life, everything is possible.

________________________________________________

WRONG IDEAS or SIGNALS

i think everyone should just attend gracia's talk for this issue.
- how to interact with the opposite sex
- how to identify what are the cliche dialogue topics
- how to know what does the opposite sex think
- how to know if you are sending the correct ideas/signals
and more modules coming up, DEFINITELY.

life sucks and i know it too well.

________________________________________________

OBLIGATIONS VERSUS NECESSITY

it is only the fourth week of college year one. why should i worry so much? no one cared that much last year. why should i? why should i be the one? why should i be the one to remind them instead of some "inner compass" they should possess?

bloody crap.

set any hopes of any sort/kind lower so that
disappointment will be proportionately lower.

________________________________________________

CCA VERSUS ECA

i know there is no more ECA under MOE policies, but i was taught before this lunar year started, that there are co-curricular and extra-curricular activities in life. so now i have to use my "inner compass" to decide which is which.

the conversation with jie bin started out determined. the metup with partner wavered it. the pictures of 75th CIBTC are simply evil. i am going to slice IT out piece by piece. i hate to do this but life is cruel. i want to care, but i so cannot do it!

TRUST is essential.
DELIGATION of tasks is important.
but STUDIES is my future.
(i never wanted to say this but circumstances made me do it!)

"zai zhe ge min zhe bao sheng de she hui li, ni bu hui bao hu zi ji, ni jiu dei jie shou jie guo."

what have you accomplished?
have you done more good or bad in your life?

05/02 - 06/02

2009-02-13T01:00:00.002+08:00

eight days since i last posted an entry.

initially i was still intending to blog about every single day of orientation, but i realized my orientation booklet was with someone else (and she already lost it by now), so i guess i will give up the idea?

fourth: amazing race in yishun.

our route was mostly in block 200+ to 400+. i did not really bring them all over yishun and it was wen yan who did it. hahaha.

we then slacked off after lunch and practised our CP skit at the basketball court directly under my block. not to forget the three idiots who were having a session (i do not call that a game) when we are just right beside them. not to mention a group of SS boys with one injured fellow.

i never realized that so many interesting events can happen over a duration of an hour under my block.

you are the only one who reminds me about it.
i guess no one will talk to me about it.
your presence makes it everything all different.

fifth: duty cum jam and HOP (more of jumpings).

we separated into houses (did i mention about me having to change from PEIRCE to canberra?) and practized our house cheer. after which, we further broke the group up into classes for college cheer, class cheer and CP skit.

i think our skit is very interesting (maybe only to us), but CTG 120 represented our house with fat riding hood. i forgot to add on that, i was sleeping under my highly-communist cap when they were introducing the CTs and when they already started the first skit.

wen yan and i went off after the five skits (i only watched four coz i was still sleeping during the first one). we reported for early dinner at 1715 and appeared at our respective venues for duty! the three of us (wen yan, me and hui min) were in college with shi yuan plus yang rong who joined and left us every now and then to cycle around. actually to check on the carparks' statuses.

after that at around 8, i rejoined my class for the bbq and the jam and HOP. while i was doing my duty, i have no idea what got the people so high-spirited to keep jumping (instead of hopping) and shouting. i guess i did not and have not built up the emotions. x=

i joined in for the last song (which was on encore for more than 2 times, i think?) together with jia li. one song almost led to leg cramps for me, what about those who were in the crowd for three hours? oh gosh.

clearing up makes me think of YTSC and YTNP. hahaha. i have not been doing such things for 2 years! i quite miss doing them, not the acitivities but the joy i somehow derive from the time that i am "tortured" with my friends. (=

somehow aka quality time. =D

01/02 - 04/02.

2009-02-04T23:30:00.001+08:00

third: we had external vendors planning activities for us.

first was about olympics, ranging from YOG to spirit, to mottos of olympics and sportsmanship.

we had a challenge which we had to pull each others' hands to get up from the ground. firstly, it was two persons, followed by 4, then 12 then the whole JC1. this part had got me really angry and i think i have to restart my counter (of being civilised). -,-

where is your anger management?

after that, we played a game which we had to burn off people's raffia string using a candle under the immense 1000 to 1200's heat and the strong winds sometimes.

1) team bonding
2) planning
3) resilience

btw, CTG 121 was ethiopia. well, fantastic runners!

after that it was lunch! unhealthy wednesday!

next vendor is the high achievers.
(and i saw many's favourite-- jon tay!)

kidnap case planned by them. now i know where does the culture come from, just that the consequence is different. hahaha.

we had to find the kidnapee (is there such a word, i do not know. i just copied and pasted from the instructor's mouth), solved a puzzle, go through station games to get a chance to open up one of the twenty boxes which contain our password and key to the padlock attached to the kidnapee.

do things not just for the sake of doing it.
do things not because that you have to.
do things coz you want to and believe in them.

talk by the performing arts group and floorball, debrief then home!

tml is the amazing race and i am so prepared for it. hahaha. i expect nothing much to happen tml. and i am the parade commander! oh gosh. x=

26/01 - 01/02.

2009-02-04T20:35:00.002+08:00

first two days of CNY were spent visiting my grandparents, paternal on day one and maternal on the second.

other than the angpaos and the good food, there are of course the catching up and playing! especially with my cousins. and and and not forgetting my niece and nephew. oh gosh. my niece is getting in a way more sociable (sounds weird but then) and my nephew cuter.

________________________________________________

i forgot how and where i spent my third day.
and the fourth day was my last day at work.
on the same day, i suffered from a slight flu.

on the fifth day, i fell sick! really sick.
flu, cough and fever.
i am glad that i am in year one, still. =D

more bai nian at my friends' and grandparents' house!
college starts on the eighth day of chinese new year.
and i guess i have to start college still being sick. x=

i wonder how will things turn out when my classmates are not my lessonmates. oh gosh. my class is going to have arts and science students. and the timetable will be no doubt super confusing. how are we going to bond and really bond? like the objectives of the orientation. -,-

anyway, it is not as good as what it seemed like.
(from an experienced planner's POV. LOL!)

14/01 - 25/01.

2009-01-26T05:30:00.000+08:00

14: erm, i forgot.

15: charlie bbq and overnight at chalet.

the situation is already so bad, plus the only possible solution is a long-term one. and i doubt those people will help. -,-

16: work today!

i went to help my sister in her office. i did what i did one year ago. writing the consignment notes, wrapping up the flyers and additionally, filing.

17: i forgot. hahaha.

18: i went to my grandparents' house then shopping with philo for partners' gifts! but in the end, i still did not get what i wanted to get for him.

19 - 22: work!

20:
i cannot believe i actually helped my sister to bring THAT home.
THAT is so not my style.
i guess THAT is my limit.

without the stuff inside (luckily?)

until i am sure, definite and confident that the adulterous couple is mocking me, i swore to keep my cool and not confront them. till we meet again.

21: i went to SP for jogging with them! it was a long time since i last jogged, other than the mass run during ATC. before that, my last run/jog was in college? hahaha. i am so healthy. =D

23: we went shopping.

here is the photo of a whatever's nest outside my bedroom window.

here is a close-up photo.

after we sort of settled the whatevers, my sister just used something to push the nest down. this is the size of the nest as compared to my sister's foot.

ARGH. such a unpleasant sight and experience!

________________________________________________

24: cindy's birthday celebration!

the colour code was yellow and/or black and i realized i am the only one wearing yellow. -,- i have only one photo from the celebration coz the rest are in their cameras.

me and adeline!

appreciation dinner!

look at our crayfish pasta. both are the same plate of pasta but it gives a different feeling right? hahaha!

25: reunion dinner!

it is always great to have cousins gathering for even just a dinner. the jokes that we cracked, the insanity we have in our blood and the highly recognized sense of humour.

you are not good, but it is time for me to move on.

tml is always a better day!

it could be a passing statement to you, but i can still remember it as a promise from you to me, which was 392 days ago.

bullshyt.

2009-01-13T15:30:00.003+08:00

if you want a living dead me,
i can grant your wish.

if you want me to have EQ zero,
i can grant it as well.

but then you never cared.

________________________________________________

today's LIBRA's horoscope for random.

"The rules say do this and do that -- your heart tells you otherwise. Maybe it's
time to live outside the boundaries of what's accepted and expected. Let your
comfort level dictate how far you go. Experiment with interracial or same-sex
dating, get a piercing or ask a taboo person out."

erm i am not so sure about it.

08/01 - 12/01.

2009-01-12T19:45:00.004+08:00

i am blogging so frequently coz someone commented that my blog is dead. i am announcing again that it WAS dead.

08/01: i forgot what happened on that day? i only know that i slept very late that night.

09/01: open house, CCA bazaar and UG visitation.

i have no idea what is wrong with me lately. somehow i just cannot wake up, with those alarms, the special tones and everything. i guess i really suck. x=

blah blah blah. soon it was time for the secondary ones to come and i was thrown into the conference room for the CSI video screening. it was quite a success from my POV.

xiao zi. ni zi dong yi dian ke yi ma?

after training, the Instructors went to parkway for dinner and meeting. not forgetting that towkay-neo sitting on my monkey until it become two dimensional from three. x=

what a display of low IQ and EQ.
such a failed loser as always. -,-

10/01: rotting day at home in the morning.
AAR at HTA from 1600 to 2300. it ended at an appropriate timing but everyone stood waiting for one and other. this is what i have noticed from these three years. hahaha. you will wait for me and i will wait for you, not forgetting everyone will take their own time to walk. x=

11/01: NCO camp AAR in the morning. and everything dragged from then on. after that, i went to junction eight to find poh sin. i was so supposed to meet her at two and like what i have mentioned earlier on, everything dragged from then on.

i guess i just realized that? x=
tell me more about social life.

suddenly the night is dark, so dark.
now i have three weeks of LIFE.

12/01: school in the morning and i went home. the encounter with the female security guard was so interesting. should i be glad that she met the positive me and not an emo zhuang yi? hahaha. i did some housework, rotted and did some housework again.

first time i burnt myself so cui-ly. hai. everyone will have their cui moments, including me? hahaha.

06/01 and 07/01.

2009-01-08T01:15:00.001+08:00

hello everyone. i am here again!
i shall post entries like mad until no one approaches me and say, "you have not updated your blog for such a long time!"

for your information, this is the nineth post after i was missing for two months and two weeks. my "last" post was on 09/10.

05/01: i forgot to mention this. i went to shop after going to school for i forgot why. i rotted in guardian, trying to figure out what do i need to buy for unit's first aid kits. i know i should not be the one buying but do i look like i have a choice?

i approached the pharmacist to ask him about the solutions for eye irrigations and he brought me to the shelf. while i was walking there with him, a lady came to approach me and asked me about one product. i bluntly said (in mandarin coz she spoke to me in mandarin), i do not work here. and she was like, oh you do not work here? i nodded and got back to the pharmacist who was looking at us and waiting for me. XD.

-,- let me decribe to you what i was wearing that day. i was wearing a light blue GAP tee shirt, with white shorts and my puma shoes (such a lousy combination coz i was initially intending to wear slippers to school but cannot?). the focus here is seriously, honestly not about the brands but the combination of everything and the colour combination!

initially i was telling the Instructors that i have the i-want-to-have-the-food-takeaway face coz two different stalls had my food takeaway for not once each, but once for one stall and thrice for the other! now the guardian staff face (not despising guardian or what), so what is next? i am willing to accept challenges (inclined to shocks than challenges).

06/01: more details to be added on!

training was hatefully cancelled but we managed to get 18 NCOs back to have a session with them. i did not do anything (YET) but my student OC, roland, did what we (majority he and minority i) wanted. i guess that was NOT enough. nothing was ever enough for them plus it was not the full strength.

i half sorted the Instructors' cupboards! why is it half, coz there are still belongings of Instructors hiding somewhere in the room, names and not pasted, allocations not finalised, there are bound to be unhappiness about what i have done.

but what to do?

07/01: i tore off those bed linens which are supposed to be washed and placed new ones! =D not the job is done by me though but the usual person (sister). hahaha.

today was just there and then. boo to me. plus i so failed one of my missions today! x= it is not the first or the second.

change your attitude!

basically, the result is not out today but on monday when college reopens. it lands on the same day as my trainees' result. well, my college is trying to increase the anxiety level of the nation, i guess? -,-

i am going back to college tml to do the booth for UG. what a late notice and i am going back to school to get some NPCC posters. i do not think anyone will realize the non-existence of the posters.

can you memorize your NYR and align your actions to them?

04/01 and 05/01.

2009-01-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

04/01: yeah, i really rested for the whole day! i totally slacked the whole day. but not really either. hahaha. i checked out the cca bazaar plan, decided how to scold, decided how to pack up the room and done the floorplan. (=

what is the use of them being done when i kept forgetting to do things. -,-

05/01: i again nua-ed until afternoon. i woke, had lunch, planned the schedule and went to school to pass ms yap the receipts for the NCOC. i will be getting 200 plus bucks soon, but not mine, of course. hahaha.

i just got a shock when mas told me that the promotion test is tml? gosh. but we will be making it into a training instead. hahaha.

06/01: i am going to school to get the letter from ms yap then to HTA then back to unit. hai. busy life huh. I AM SO NOT READY FOR SCHOOL.

so dead big time.

may i know what are you doing all these for?

after course.

2009-01-03T23:00:00.002+08:00

after course.
21: rest at home.
22: advance party and BRAVO outing! five of us watched yesman, six of us went to simei and eight of us had dinner. super low attendance but then.

i do not mind being the joker of your life.

23: "shopping"
24: christmas party at jia tian's house!

nicholas, vincent, hui ping and i were playing mahjong. we assumed that we were too loud then one person from the opposite block looked over. me, being the mischevious one, waved at him and he followed suit! what a surprise. zhiguang joined for mahjong a while later.

we had gift exchange. my gift was given to julitta (famous amos cookies) and i received a cup from xiaowen (which i was struggling to wrap at causeway point ljs before we reached jia tian's house). =D

"I'd rather be. "^infinity then at the handle, I'D RATHER BE CAMPING
"a bad day camping is better than a good day working" on the body of the cup.
my sister told my mum that i was staging a revolt. HAHAHA.

25: i stayed over at jia tian's house and went back via si ming sir's car. many thanks! i then woke up in the afternoon, seeing 10 missed calls. hahaha. actually mingjun was asking people to go to his house for party but i was obviously sleeping. i had dinner at my uncle's house.

26: advance party.
27: camp.
28: camp.
29: supplementary paper and meeting.
30: training. unit activity.
31: training. rope obstacles.
abnormal zhuang yi has thought of a new descriptive short form that she will put to use very often- bgl. XD.

what is the use of having activities lined up to the maximum when my mind is occupied by you?

1: rest at home.
why was i so cranky just now? i have been camping outdoors since sec 1 to now, end of year 1. i cannot believe that i will behave like that even if i was mabo-ing.

stop being so disruptive to the peace; shut up and do your part.

2: training. UG visitation.
3: training. recruitment drive.

i was not feeling tired at all when i did that. i cannot feel more energetic than that. i was being emo as usual. coz you never considered my feelings.

4: rest at home? =D

since you do not give a d,
since you do not give a s,
since you do not give a f,
why should i?

AVD and pay phone.

2009-01-03T22:10:00.004+08:00

second AVD but first time attending to casualty. he was badly attended to coz i was not in the mood at that time. x= i felt so apologetic sia. and also with the addition of the uniform which she commented that i, for once, look feminine. hahaha!

deep heat was the hot product of the day. it really showed me the difference of a singaporean and a (i am apologetic to say) caucasian by the way they asked us for the cream. generally all singaporeans asked politely except one. -,-

he stretched out his hand and asked, "eh got deep heat or not ar?"

________________________________________________

i went to uncle jimmy's place to get the shirts one day. but as usual, my old sim card played pranks on me. so i had to use a PAY PHONE!

woah. it was such a long time since i last used one. that is when you already have a working phone but without a working sim card as a complement. -,-

nvm. soon enough, this brand new phone of mine will be complemented with a brand new WORKING sim card.

also a brand new mentality about life. (=

situation now (03/01/09) is, i have the sim card but my phone is spoilt AGAIN. i seriously am getting a new phone. any recommendations?

03/01

2009-01-03T02:00:00.002+08:00

supplementary paper has ended and there is no time for regrets; only time for repentance. there are always activities lined up for everyone, it depends on the person's willingness to take them up. for me, i guess i take too much of those which are, what they say, useless.

third day of the new year 2009. i already have last year's resolutions to last me for a long while, but i still have a brand new list. well, to me, NYR are not only made during new year. erm, NYR yeah, but resolutions can be made and achieved anytime.

you are supposed to change it, not ignore it.

the one and only next up- CLTC.
yeah, no annual parade for me.

december.

2009-01-03T01:15:00.002+08:00

i am posting about december now.

actual course started and everything comes in. not only worries about squad charlie, but also worries about the planning for NCOC and worries for units' stuff. and the cui me is getting more and more cui, mentally and mentally?

not really the mental strain by the course (i am not that cui yet), but also a lot of crap which distracts my brain. sometimes i really hope that my brain could malfunction regarding those matters. just for some moments of peace.

stomach flu in the midst of RC two. and i guess it is really contagious. after i came back, i realized quite many people contracted it. there were three which i know of, just from squad charlie. such a horrendous illness which created quite a bit of unhappiness.

i did not have much time to rest but to push on for the next lap of the course: ATC. as it comes nearer, my worry for the supplementary paper becomes more eminent. x= i brought notes but i also doubt i will really sit down and study coz there is no time and how can you when all others are so busy?

i reached home SLIGHTLY earlier than RC for ATC and the next day waking up to prepare lots of things. either my estimation of time is bad or i am just slow. i will take both. -,- i did not sleep the night before IC and i was aux-ed down for the reassessment for drills soft skills. i almost fell flat sleeping while standing and assessing. x=

i got really angry with the charlians when they told me about those matters and when they thought i was joking with them. sometimes it is extremely bad that you are slightly laxer with your squad. what else can you forget on top of your collar lapels and white tee shirts?

you enter the harmony hall as a trainee, you come out as a CI.
once you enter the harmony hall, there is no return.
no more mistakes can be afforded.

to all the d08 charlians who may or may not see this post:

these twenty days could be long and tiring for some while short and maybe a breeze to the rest. you may feel like giving up in the midst, i am glad that all of you did not. some admitted that you have doubted your purpose of joining the course, and now, i hope that you have found your purpose.

all of you came to the course as an individual, learning from the Instructors. in the process of this, many of you have bonded, nevermind the time taken, and proven to us that all of you are no longer the same individuals that we have seen. we see ONE squad charlie.

results for the assessments are disappointing, at times some of your actions are even more, but there are also moments which we were glad to see all 26 of you grow individually and as a squad. the 26 of you form a squad, physically, and hopefully mentally.

it is always a challenge for everyone to maintain the standards after returning to each of your respective units when there are no Instructors to keep an eye on you anymore, and that is also why we kept mentioning about expectations and not betraying your standards. there is no telling of the future after we parted our ways, the future is in your hands, so are the futures of your cadets.

to my squad charlie:

there are too many things we can have in mind for one and other, but too little time to put them into words.

do not keep praises of others for yourself as you do not know when will the others need it to push on in life.
do not fear telling people what are their mistakes as you do not know how much will the mistakes cause them to lose.
do not doubt your abilities and thereby hesistate to do things as someone might be waiting for you to take actions.

always remember:
do not betray your standards;
rowdiness does not show the bond.
only when you expect, you see the improvements.

01/01.

2009-01-01T23:15:00.005+08:00

happy new year to all!

today was such an eventful day, in my dreams. i slept until 1615 today. i guessed i managed to catch back as much sleep that i missed as possible since the start of december.

another possibility is that i am afraid to face the reality.

it hurts terribly when you talk to me twice, only in my dreams.

life is tough.

new year resolutions-
some remained the same, some changed.
some were achieved, some were not.
(that is why some 2008 resolutions remained for 2009).

it is time that you learn to be a human being.

november.

2008-12-26T00:05:00.003+08:00

yeah, indeed i am moving on to november.

mentoring sessions have ended and modular courses replaced them. modular courses are meant for us to perform what we have learnt for the past mentoring sessions. whether i have met the objectives, it is another thing. x= full scaled OCIPV preparation has started. fundraising and meetings. well, i admit i did not help zhi yu much with program stuff. x=

november was quite a bad month for me. but SOME things/people have helped me pull through.

thanks to all in the OCIPV team. all the emotional wonders that have happened in vietnam. especially that early morning which billy treated us. (= and oh shyt. the glass bottle which i managed to get after so much difficulty, i left it in the black shop. ARGH!

and yeah. that person also helped me in many ways. just being near me helped and even when only i felt the presence, also helped. yeah.

i am moving on to december next. =D

october.

2008-12-24T01:30:00.003+08:00

so, after my brithday, it was still the promotion examination period. which means, i was still mugging. after promotion examination, i had my mentoring sessions (not to say that they only started after my examination). i did not blog after my examination due to the college computer room being down, despite having a sign which said it will be done by (a date which i forgot but definitely before my birthday).

other than having mentoring sessions, i had OP practices and fundraising for OCIPV. after my OP, i realized the amount of practices i had, were never enough. i only practised my final speech less than ten times and of course, anxiety killed majority of my performance. (i should really curse my anxiety if i did not get an A for PW. it costed me my face in sec two and three)

(am i moving on to november?)

recapitulation

2008-12-24T00:50:00.004+08:00

hello everyone! i am back after two months and two weeks!

the next few posts will be an account of the two months and the two weeks that i have been missing. actually my laptop has crashed for four months. i cannot really remember when but it should be in august, judging from my blog posts.

but how is it possible to have posts after august till i disappear? i either blogged in school or for the last, i blogged it in jasmine's house. and now, i am proud to announce that i have a new laptop at home and workable internet access (previously it could only be accessed by the old laptop).

09/10/08

2008-10-09T16:15:00.004+08:00

hello everyone. it has been another three weeks. x=

what have happened during these and next three weeks.
- erm i forgot.
- WR again.
- I&R (overly due now).
- all the deadlines flying in.
- went shopping ever since long time ago.
- mugging session.
- mentoring.
- HTA.
- feeling hopeless over everything and everyone.
- sleepless nights preparing for promo.
- worrisome days and nights for everything.
- today. (:(:
- HTA on friday.
- mentoring on saturday.
- chemistry on monday.
- history on tuesday.
- soft skills one on wednesday.
- intensive starts on thu. x=
- mentoring.
- mentoring.
- ATC.
- mentoring.
- A level.
- A level.
- promo results. x=

even if i drown in cooling tea, i would still die an angry ghost.

i have been feeling very hopeless for the last few weeks. hopeless about me, hopeless about people around me, hopeless about my doings that i deserved all these. i told myself that it is bound to happen, but why is it happening again? i thought this kind of life was already history for me.

no one gave you the permission to hurt me, but why did you do it?

life is not a bed of roses. yeah indeed, this statement is too commonly used. you do not get to enjoy every single moment of your life. if you happen to, contact me via my tagboard. XD.

however, i beg to differ that life is not a bed of roses. "life is a bed of roses, including the thorns." this looks more pleasing to the eye now. one can have too many examples. try to come up with your own, if not it is going to be painful to learn from experience for this case.

i do not know why, but i hope that there is a reason for all these torment.

________________________________________________

ni shuo de dui- yao yi yi ke ping chang xin qu kan dai sheng huo li de ren shi wu jiu bu hui gan dao shi wang. zhen shi bu ming bai wo hai zai zhi zhuo xie shen me, tong shi ye qi dai xie shen me. ni shuo de dui- yao yi yi ke ping chang xin qu kan dai sheng huo li de ren shi wu jiu bu hui gan dao shi wang.

祝我生日快乐
Wish Me A Happy Birthday

我知道伤心不能改变什么
I know that sadness will not be able to change anything

那么让我诚实一点
If that's the case, then let me be honest a little bit

诚实难免有不能控制的宣泄
To be honest that's it's difficult to avoid an unruly betrayal

只有关上了门不必理谁
I can only close the door and ignore the world

一个人坐在空的包厢里面
Sitting alone inside this empty space

手机让它休息一夜
Let the cellphone rest for a night

难,想切割切掉回忆的画面
[So] Difficult, [I feel like] cutting off all the frames of memory

眼泪不能流过十二点
These tears can no longer shed past Midnight

生日快乐我对自己说
Happy birthday, I said to myself

蜡烛点了
[As] The candles are blown

寂寞亮了
Loneliness lit up

生日快乐
Happy birthday

泪也融了
Tears are melted away

我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
I want to thank for all that you gave and took away

还爱你带一点恨
Having to love you still, carries a little scar

还要时间
Only time

才能平衡
can heal the wound

热恋伤痕
Passionate love leaves painful traces

画面重生
As the picture replays

祝我生日快乐
Wish me a happy birthday

thanks to all who wished me!
first present- jasmine
first sms- george
first verbal wish- jessica
first cake- family
first FEAST- jasmine

not forgetting family, philomela, chuan wan, hui min, aunt alice, jessica, karen, shamini, hui yi, carla, skandan, darren, yuen yee, vernicia, camy.

when i realized i really had to finish all the outstanding work, here i am at jasmine's house, half blogging and half doing the work. XD. the work is really terrible when you are doing it alone. it feels like PW but just of a lighter load but more stress somehow? x=

stress is good. it puts me to task well.
i usually work better with stress. =D
getting back to outstanding work now!

latest update ever.

2008-09-17T15:35:00.003+08:00

hello everyone! i have been missing for FIVE whole weeks and all of you must have missed my updates a lot. XD.

this is the longest period of time when my blog has not been updated. x= some reasons are best left untold but do not assume that i am hardworking and have abandoned the online world!

laptop crashed just two days before the final draft of WR to my tutor and that absolutely is horrible. that aside, i do not have much time to update, loss of mood coz of SOME people and also, lack of contents.

i wonder if i have efficiently spent my past FIVE weeks working offline. NPCC, PW and other distractions. let me think what have i been through for the past five weeks.

term three ended with a blink of the eye after NDP. and anyway, i still go for NPCC after NDP. they had trainings and promotion tests. it was until 12 september then i stopped. i went back on the promise to myself and my academics. x=

i had PW meetings over the weekends for some days and not much were done until the final week. we submitted our final WR on 12 september. that was a relief for us for the weekends until OP comes along and said hello yesterday. now another cycle starts. after OP, it will be I&R. -,-

i just had GP paper on monday. x= maybe i could request for the committee to mark my work first and see if i pass GP. if i do not (touch the forest), then i do not have to bother to mug for the other subjects. hahaha. but everyone would make the same request. HAI.

here is a joke from garfield comics.

don: it is monday. what are you going to do today?
garfield: what everyone does on monday.
don: ?
garfield: sleep until tuesday.

don: so this is tuesday.
garfield: do you know what i like most about monday?
don: ?
garfield: it is not monday.

i am going down to HTA later with zhiyu.
all the best to me for that, them and me. XD.

i want to relive those moments as a different zhuang yi. (:

11/08-14/08

2008-08-14T22:15:00.004+08:00

i shall use a short while to post something.

t3 weekly tests!
28/07 - MT
06/08 - math
~~13/08 - econ.~~
~~25/08~~ 18/08 - chem.
27/08 - GP.

i am going to be a full time student, full time house~~wife~~daughter and a full time instructor. when i thought that my time management is already weak being a full time student, part time house~~wife~~daughter and full time instructor, here comes days of full time house~~wife~~daughter!

the two large firms of the household chores industry, my mum and sister, happily packed their bags and went off to malaysia for 4d3n relaxation trip. of course it is a relaxation trip, they are practically free from all household chores!

my new roles of a house~~wife~~daughter.
wash clothes,
sun clothes,
keep clothes,
fold clothes,
iron clothes, (trying to push to jessica XD)
sweep floor,
vacuum floor,
mop floor,
boil water,
water the plants.

chemistry test was brought forward without notice. or did i hear my tutor wrongly? x= and SPA D is on 25/08. i just mugged in college till 2130! i have turned hardworking for a good cause!

wo men yi qi nu li de bei shou na ben jing ba! (:

05/08-10/08

2008-08-10T23:15:00.006+08:00

okay. i see. it has been another week.
a week of minimal content to blog. x=

i am proud to announce that:
i really cannot study at home.
feel free to ask me out to mug!

t3 weekly tests!
28/07 - MT
06/08 - math
13/08 - econ.
25/08 - chem.
27/08 - GP.

before 080808:

a daily dose of emo thought,
keeps the cheerful zy away.

independence and your high level of heartlessness are what i really need to learn and have for this period of time. x=

you really need a remote control to keep your horrible temper in check. you emo-ed and shouted to handle what happened. you kept everything within yourself and thus not causing any unhappiness. your behaviour is commendable for once.

i need heavy downpours in college when i stay back real late.
________________________________________________

after 080808:

transforming fully into an emo,
is what zy needs to accomplish.

insignificant market share = negligible?
i hate to acknowledge this! it should not be the case. many of this 'insignificance' will eventually snowball to a certain significance. will anyone ever understand this theory?

learning point: when the trust is gone, no one should bother to gain it back coz whatever the person does, it is only of futile efforts to try to salvage. nothing helps once the tide is gone.

i do not want history to repeat itself, ever again.

we are eventually similar la huh?

28/07-04/08

2008-08-04T03:00:00.001+08:00

oh okay. i see. it has been one week.
a week of minimal interest to blog. x=

my life is full of internal debates.
internal: with me, myself and i.

i had a weird dream that day. i am sure it was in the day as i woke up from the dream, the clock reflected 0430. the dream was what i had wished for, but definitely not what i hoped for and what i want. CONTRADICTING RIGHT. x= and the other party was also very different from the real life.

what i am wishing for ≠ what i hoped for.
what i want to have ≠ what i really want.
reality is ≠ what i have planned to be. x=
your replies ≠ what i had expected to be.

yes / no. i want to know / i do not want to know.
one thing for sure. i need you to be around.
do you have the same feelings for me?

i was really tired for these few days or either i am reluctant to go through each day's routine. it proved me that my half-owl life is unsuccessful for this segment. but i really cut down on my internet usage. probably it is the storybooks' fault. hahaha. tml is the last night of my storybook craze then i will resume my half-owl life. (= i am in for more positive effects.

"Think like a surfer when it comes to the turbulent ocean of dating. Ride the wave instead of swim against the current. The more you try to fight the inevitable ebb and flow of relationships, the less you'll enjoy yourself. Go with the flow."

HMM. a tricky horoscope for librans today (040808).

should i sleep tonight? econ, math, WR and EoM.

3 weekly tests!
~~28/07 - chinese.~~
06/08 - math.
13/08 - econ.
25/08 - chem.
27/08 - GP.

wo xu yao yi ge neng dang wo jing shen ji tuo de REN.

26-27/07

2008-07-27T16:00:00.002+08:00

it has always been the battle between prize and points.
it has always been the battle between faith and glory.
i know i am and can be more cui than how i am now. ):

apprehension took me unaware and it is still haunting me.
i know i cannot, should not, must not, but i am still doing it.
anyone, please extend your arm and save me from falling.

once my love, forever my love.

everything does not go well.
everything is unsuccessful.
everything is haunting me.
everything in my life sucks.

"Experience new things with someone you've been wanting to spend time with. Make a list of everything you both would find exhilarating to do together -- whether it's scuba lessons or a poker tournament. Be creative."

tell me about this.

although i said nothing, but i care. i hope you know everything.

24-25/07

2008-07-25T06:00:00.005+08:00

i am trying to get accustomed with this half-owl life and see if i can study and produce results. my learning style tells me that the best time for me to study is in the morning. hmm. i have tried it for 3 days and i still cannot judge the effectiveness.

24/07: a long, boring thursday, as usual. /=

"you MAY become a math professor, IF you devote your life into math."

this is quoted (obviously) from mr oun during the math lecture. i asked myself: will you receive recognition if you devote your life into other things which are non-academical? the amount of recognition is definitely different, but i believe the degree of satisfaction and sense of achievement is the same or more. (=
________________________________________________

it has been confirmed that blood donation is on 5 august AND it also has been confirmed that i am going! there is a record that a person has donated 78 times in her life. WOAH.

as i play the song every morning when i study, i get reminded of you. so, tell me, is there/will there be a song that will remind you of me?

when i felt that life was -,-, i told myself what you told me.

25/07: good morning! TGIF! (=

i am writing my econ essays outlines. EoM is due today and nothing is done as yet. /= coz i remember what REN told me before, thus i must push on, even it wants my life. i will reply, take it.

LOL. i will be stuck in school until 7 today. i guess i will drop myself dead when i reach home later. i have been absent for trainings and i think i do not like it at all. x= i want to go for more trainings before i restrict myself when national day is over. i will then be able to concentrate all my energy on them when 2010 comes. i do not want to be still studying for A levels by then. x=

t3 weekly tests!
28/07 - chinese
06/08 - math
13/08 - econ.
25/08 - chem.
27/08 - GP.

it felt so real when there was the warmth.

22/07- 23/07

2008-07-23T06:30:00.004+08:00

22/07: no blood donation. -,-

biggest event of the day: i slept from 1830 to 2230, no one woke me up, despite me sleeping and occupying the living room's three pax sofa while everyone watched tv and chatted. x=

i watched half an hour of tv, slacked for another half an hour, read my book for 1 hour before i was unconscious again. x=

here i am, supposed to be mugging for history test. x= i mugged for 2 hours then i decided to check my mail for any research materials sent by the library for EoM. we will be extremely late if we do not get them soon. x=
OH NO. i am still left with cuban missile crisis. drats.

this is my horoscope for today:

"When you chat one-on-one with someone new make a point to not just listen to what they're saying, but hear them. Sincerely paying attention to conversation will encourage others to truly open up."

someone new? what about someone old? ): is it the same?

jiao bing BI bai. you seemed to have forgot this.
the bigheaded-ness of yours will not take you far.
trust me. you have no influence at all. wake up.
stop assuming you are very good in everything.

good luck for my history test. i am left with this test and one more assignment to get past promotional examinations. x=

i have no idea how to make you feel loved.

19-21/07

2008-07-21T22:30:00.006+08:00

19/07: .38 shooting. (=
i went to meet carla at yishun mrt station for WR without my phone. lol. i felt stupid and lost. well, since when i am not?

i went home to rot and slack until i left home at 0830 to meet jasmine and harry. we met pamela when we are at the range. there are a lot more officers than inspectors. x= does it mean anything- i do not know. XD.

EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO.

my heart sank into the deep, dark dungeons.
you are the ONLY one who can pick it up. (:

we had lunch at LJS and i drank coke like a thirsty hippopotamus. a large drink was not enough for me. x= that is probably due to excessive talking without any inlet of liquids. do not ask me how i survived the next 1 hour of waiting and another 2.5 hours at the cinema.

by right we should not talk, but we heeded by left. =D

brain food! food for thought:
have you ever wondered how intense will the pain be when your most loved one was to forget you? forgot totally about you, the happiness, the sorrows, the weals and the woes? until the point that you need someone else to introduce each other, until the point that when he/she addresses you by the wrong name, until the point that he/she treats you like a stranger beforehand, until the point that he/she is totally polite with you.

you are the only one who has the ability to replace the smile back onto my face when i am at my lowest times. i hope you will know it. (:

20/07: mugger at work. do not crap along.

i spent my day at the library again, mugging for the nearing A levels. it is good to start early and i must start early to salvage the depressing situation. x=

i was invited for lunch when i sat down at the table for less than 1 hour. hahaha. food is energy. energy is productivity. productivity is ACES.

she performed her perfect first aid on me. XD. when it was not even a cut, but a poke by the compass needle. that was painful, but tuesday's blood donation is going to be more painful. especially with the punch to extract sample blood. they want to check if i have AIDS, SARS, dengue fever, bird flu, mad cow disease or other FATAL and CONTAGIOUS diseases.

back to topic. we vandalized my notes and assignments badly until 1845. XD. we then roamed to find nice books to borrow and i realized i am too lazy to do so. hahaha. dinner was KFC (i forced myself to be full so i will not waste money to buy the whatever value meal). toasted twister was painful for me. x=

we talked about our courses' days. 3+1=4. therefore it is "courseS". all the secrets, moments which are very funny, interesting, inspiring (btw, inspiring is also gossiping in sms language -> random), memorable and our experiences.

the situation gets clearer and clearer.
my thirst for the truth is worsening. x=
________________________________________________

this was what i had prepared:
i have GP test on mon. x=
i have blood donation on tue.
i have HT test on wed. x=
i have NDP training on wed.
i have unit training on fri.
i have promotion test on sat.

gen ni zai yi qi de shi hou, wo si hu dui shi jian mei you guan nian.
wo zai hu de shi, wo men gong du shi jian mei ci guo de hen kuai.

21/07: GP test and frisbee.

the test was the first period and it certainly got my brain working (although it is difficult to convey the messages from the knees to the hands -> against the gravitational pull). that explains the strenuous process for me for any tests. hahaha.

i was dumb to titrate the whole flask of solution when i should pipette an amount to proceed on. i repeated it 4 times. i was the last to finish, so unusual. i should have passed my chemical bonding test if not for the careless mistakes. GRR.

PE was frisbee! we were like dogs, chasing after the frisbees to catch them. it is part of practice for our interclass tournament for the sports meet. we also had a defence talk by the SAF representative and gary is the second lieutenant of a division. woah. it has only been three years since i last saw him.

i was hardworking and went to the library to look for the comics which i read about 8 years back for my sister. in the end, i could not find it at all. x= all burned by emperor qin? ROFL. i guess it is my efforts and thoughts that count. XD.

as i roamed along street 21,
as i roamed along street 22,
as i roamed along avenue 2,
as i roamed along my heart's desires.

i wish i will faint after donating blood tml.
school is a chore. let alone the loneliness.

all the little opportunities;
i seize them one by one. (:

18/07

2008-07-18T23:00:00.009+08:00

the ever so pek chek zhuang yi is here to blog.

the correct way to start today's post was actually, TGIF with exclamation marks. but now, my day ended off with only a "TGIF." a little bit of excitement still resides in the block letters.

burning with anger:
my day started with mum shouting at me.
i read my notes during EC.
i slept through chemistry tutorial.
i wanted to fulfill a task. WANTED TO.
i reached home with dad shouting at me.
MY WORLD IS CRASHING ONTO ME.

okay okay:
duty was fun! it was boring initially.
duty ended late.
i activated my laptop's mahjong.

________________________________________________

no amount of help is going to be useful,
if you do not want to help yourself.
no one/nothing can force you to mug.
only you can allow yourself to score.

limit yourself to ONE year.
(do you know how to count? O-N-E-, ONE)
________________________________________________

JAVELIN! (=

i have a undesired urge. x=
i feel like rotting at home.
i do not want to move an inch.

MOST IMPORTANTLY.
i am moodless for shooting.
HOW CAN IT BE THE CASE?

i must get my mood back by 11 hours. if not the same thing which happened in 2006 will happen again tml. no one is going to lose coz of me.

coz i am not going to lose. i must win.

this is my daily horoscope for 190708. x=

"Getting along well with others proves challenging when all you want to do is go back to bed. Turn your bad mood into a happier outlook by surrounding yourself with friends who know how to get you laughing. You'll be smiling sooner than you think."

WOAH.

ni jue de na ke neng shi yi jian xiao shi.
ni zhi dao ta dui wo de ying xiang ma?

15-17/07

2008-07-17T17:30:00.001+08:00

15/07: 2 days to LC, 4 days to .38!
i went to northpoint to buy my dinner although it was drizzling and i wore my frictionless slippers. -,- i bought EVM upsize and i got the Coca Cola Olympic Cup (Archery). i am going to collect all 5. (= i hope i will not miss out any!

Archery: 10 - 18 july
Volleyball: 17 - 23 july
Athletic: 24 - 30 july
Basketball: 31 july - 6 august
Swimming: 7 - 13 august

________________________________________________

448 days and still counting. )=

wo de shang xin yu nan guo, shi wu fa yi jian dan de xing rong ci ju xing rong de.
lian qian yan wan yu ye mei you ban fa ba yi jiu de si nian, ni neng gan shou ma?

oh yes. after dinner, i vomited. hahaha. i would not want to disclose the full story here. it was stupidity on my part. -,-

wo xiang wei ni de dao ni yao de yi qie.

16/07: 1 day to LC, 3 days to .38!

i just had NDP training in school. i was shouting in the hall while the badminton/tennis people are having training. hahaha. it was quite a cool experience working with some people i have never talked to. it is going to get more intensive. minimal fried food, minimal heaty stuff and more water for me for the next one month! i will be skinny by NDP. =D

meanwhile, i am blogging, drinking coke, watching tong xin yuan II, listening and singing to music. =D such a great multi-tasker. bad memories of me sleeping during LC and the horrible experience i had with the whole chinese department. x=

tml is listening!
i will not sleep.
i must not sleep!

is that a desirable thought for me to habour?

17/07: such a nice number. (:

i am done with my listening comprehension! well. i spent $2.80 to keep myself awake. compass, sweets and green tea were my weapons. =D although i forgot about my secret weapon- my pen knife. x=

i have UG duty tml.
i have .38 prelim this sat!
next week is also a busy one with tests and trainings!

rang wo lai zhao gu ni, hao ma?

nonsense.

2008-07-15T00:00:00.003+08:00

i feel like nonsense.
i feel like rubbish.
i feel insignificant.

i mentioned that my friend just visited me. that is something which i have been wishing for, but do i genuinely want that?

i have been saying that i am emo-ing for many times. am i only lying to you or have i managed to deceive myself as well?

i want to be like before, to be in full control of my emotions. judging from the situation, am i already numb of everything?

i have figured out. emo = me without you.